First Date Tips ... (advice please...)

[krzywica]

So, I'm a recent college grad, and in college dating goes a bit different than in the real world (like, you meet in groups). I need some advice now that I'm in traditional dating...

So I know the guy always picks the girl up, and pays, the first date. She is out of the way, but, I think having her drive would be pretty lame. Am I right?

Flowers? Too soon? We sorta know eachother, been clubbing before (I didn't meet her in a club though), but do you bring flowers to a first 'proper' date?

What about conversation? Any 'if in awkward silence' tips?

After lots of college experience, I feel like real world dating is a mystery to me. Suddenly I see why people read those magazines that say s**t like '10 First Date Tips'

Any general advice? (Other than don't show her my soundsystem)

Watch Family Guy reruns for a week before the date and then do exactly what Quagmire does.

 

[MidnightSensi]

Ok, it's now the morning after. Inquiring minds want to know...


Did you tap it?

Date is Saturday. So, no.

 

[gmichael]

Date is Saturday. So, no.

Do you have a plan as far as where you are going? Entertainment?

 

[ParadigmDawg]

Ummm...you have this wrong.

It's the 3 Fs.

If it Floats
If it flys
If it F**ks

Then rent it....

Best Advice: Be yourself

Also the 4 Fs:

Friends
Family (not future family, brothers/sisters etc)
Favorites
Firsts

These are GREAT conversation starters

 

[krzywica]

Ummm...you have this wrong.

It's the 3 Fs.

If it Floats
If it flys
If it F**ks

Then rent it....

HAHAHHAHA.

Thats great!

 

[Nemo128]

Take my advice for what it's worth, and only you should determine what it's worth. I say it's worth nada.

First, if you have multiple cars, drive your cheapest and/or most economical one. If you only have something flashy and expensive, get a buddy to lend you his late 90s Civic or Cavalier. Everyone has a friend like that.

Second, pay for everything with cash. And $20s. Nothing bigger. If that's for some reason not feasable, use a debit card.

Third, be exactly who you are if she's someone you're interested in knowing for any period of time beyond that night or the next couple of days. Be the guy she responds to if you're looking to hit it and quit it. Those two guys might be one in the same, but they're usually not. If you're looking to hit it and quit it, DISREGARD the above two pieces of advice.

Want further details, feel free to ask. Unfortunately these principles, and many more of mine, have been overly successful in dealing with women throughout my life. And I'm miserable for it.

 

[MidnightSensi]

Do you have a plan as far as where you are going? Entertainment?

Yeah, I made reservations at a nice place at 8.

I gotta drive her back home, so, a club or bar after doesn't really fly.

There is another thing college was easier with (never had to take anyone home, you just walked).

 

[gmichael]

Yeah, I made reservations at a nice place at 8.

I gotta drive her back home, so, a club or bar after doesn't really fly.

There is another thing college was easier with (never had to take anyone home, you just walked).

Cool. It helps to have a plan. Have a great time.

 

[adwilk]

Yeah, I made reservations at a nice place at 8.

I gotta drive her back home, so, a club or bar after doesn't really fly.

There is another thing college was easier with (never had to take anyone home, you just walked).

Duuude, this is why the girl should always drive. That way, if the date goes poorly, you're not paying for her booze, meanwhile you get hammer-plowed and end up in the back of a cab with a chick that got dumped earlier that day. I also think the girl should show up with a gift of some sort.

Honestly though, if the date is going really well, a nice bar and a few drinks could be the icing on the cake. (not to get laid necessarily, but a great way to relax and converse) I would consider grabbing a cabby to drop her off, and then onto your destination. She'll sincerely appreciate the responsibility. Just don't try to bum a smoke from the driver. Not classy.

Can you cook?

 

[bandphan]

1. Don't get into specifics about what you do. Normal humans don't want to know what a materials engineer does.
2. Unless she's a fellow geek, don't talk about computers and audio equipment.
3. Always smile. Women hate guys who seem hostile and confrontational.
4. Unless your at dinner ordering the wine, let her choose what she wants to drink. Ordering shots of tequilla might not be wise. But if she orders it GET READY TO PARTY!
5. Don't leave a box of condoms in your glove compartment. She'll look.
6. Be yourself. No sense starting a lie you might get stuck trying to support.
7. Lastly, have fun. If it doesn't work out, oh well.

HELLO.... alcohol jk,

not

 

[MidnightSensi]

Honestly though, if the date is going really well, a nice bar and a few drinks could be the icing on the cake. (not to get laid necessarily, but a great way to relax and converse) I would consider grabbing a cabby to drop her off, and then onto your destination. She'll sincerely appreciate the responsibility. Just don't try to bum a smoke from the driver. Not classy.

Can you cook?

Nod. I'll probably just have a few beers and time the buzz to come down at the end. Cabs are sketchy here.

Can't cook, but could fake it. She does though...

 

[mike c]

First, if you have multiple cars, drive your cheapest and/or most economical one. If you only have something flashy and expensive, get a buddy to lend you his late 90s Civic or Cavalier. Everyone has a friend like that.

Second, pay for everything with cash. And $20s. Nothing bigger. If that's for some reason not feasable, use a debit card.

i'm curious as to why to the above?

 

[Midwesthonky]

Geez...the last first date I had ended up in marriage. Not sure I should be giving advice!!

I'd definitely go with the be yourself crowd. The first dates I went on where I tried to be someone other than myself usually tanked badly. But then on one occasion I was myself, she was nice, I was more attracted to her roommate, but roommate was in a girl-girl exclusive with the third roommate. Oh well. I should have asked for video.

I'd also develop several contingencies for after the dinner. That way you have alternatives depending in what you learn during dinner and how the date is going. Could be coffee shop for conversation. A quieter place to get some wine and conversation. Maybe a place that has awesome cheesecake. A dance club or strip club *a man has to have dreams!* Or something totally off-the-wall like rock climbing, glass blowing class, or roller derby.

But stick to the be yourself. My wife learned I was a heathen and my dog was psycho yet she still went out with me again.

Maybe have some jokes handy, simple but avoid making fun of topics that she may actually take as a insult. Like vegetarians or who knows...

Good luck! Enjoy it! Have fun! Ask good questions about the topics she brings up.

Don't ask her to bark like a dog. Don't ask her if she's into S&M.

Stick with us, we'll lead you astray!

 

[MidnightSensi]

i'm curious as to why to the above?

I'm guessing to see if she is into you or your money?

 

[Rickster71]

Whatever you do.....don't ask for dating advice on an audio / video site.

 

[Davemcc]

I am firmly in the "be yourself" camp. I also agree it's mandatory hold doors, open the car door for her, etc., all the chivalry stuff. It goes a long way. She's probably feeling the same type of anxiety and nerves that you are, so anything you can do to make the atmosphere natural and comfortable will help get you through any awkward moments.

 

[MidnightSensi]

Whatever you do.....don't ask for dating advice on an audio / video site.

Really the responses here have been great. The thing about the group on Audioholics is maybe they (we) aren't players, but that's not really the advice I'm looking for anyways. Stepping out of college, I'm more looking for a companion than just a girl to bed.

I am firmly in the "be yourself" camp. I also agree it's mandatory hold doors, open the car door for her, etc., all the chivalry stuff. It goes a long way. She's probably feeling the same type of anxiety and nerves that you are, so anything you can do to make the atmosphere natural and comfortable will help get you through any awkward moments.

Cheers.

I think the main thing that is different for me dating now rather than in college, is that it starts off one-on-one, rather than starting in a group and then eventually being one-on-one. Always having an 'out' and other people talking, allowed for some room and space to get to know one another. I guess my anxiety is that now I have to entertain the whole night... college all I had to do was not screw it up and 'the drama' of college groups always gave something to talk about.

 

[gmichael]

Really the responses here have been great. The thing about the group on Audioholics is maybe they (we) aren't players, but that's not really the advice I'm looking for anyways. Stepping out of college, I'm more looking for a companion than just a girl to bed.



Cheers.

I think the main thing that is different for me dating now rather than in college, is that it starts off one-on-one, rather than starting in a group and then eventually being one-on-one. Always having an 'out' and other people talking, allowed for some room and space to get to know one another. I guess my anxiety is that now I have to entertain the whole night... college all I had to do was not screw it up and 'the drama' of college groups always gave something to talk about.

You could always ask her how she feels about bi-wiring vs bi-amping. That would interest any woman. (for about 0.34 seconds)

 

[highfigh]

Stepping out of college, I'm more looking for a companion than just a girl to bed.

They grow up so soon.

Listen to her and pay attention to how she asks questions. Ask questions about her- people like to talk about themselves and if you get her to talk about herself, it saves time because you won't have as many bad surprises later. Some questions act as a test- they want certain things and they will find out if you're the right guy. I think a first date is too early for a woman to do a lot of testing but it happens- depends on the woman.

If you both know some of the same people, maybe you could ask some casual questions about what she likes unless this would cause problems.

 

[Davemcc]

I guess my anxiety is that now I have to entertain the whole night...

I think this is a concept you need to get away from. Children and audiences need to be entertained. If you go into this thinking that you need to entertain her, it will come off as forced and unnatural which you're trying to get away from.

You obviously like each other or there wouldn't be a date. Just knowing that it's mutual is half the battle so relax, be yourself and just talk about whatever comes to your mind but when she starts talking...shut the hell up and let her talk. The more at ease you are, the more she will see that you are enjoying her company, which is probably her biggest anxiety. Overthinking this is what's going to get you in trouble.

It's been almost exactly 20 years since my last first date so I'm just going from memory, but just sitting down and talking like two people that like each other seems to be the way to start a promising relationship.