Jokes... Heard any good ones lately?

T

Trebdp83

Audioholic Field Marshall
I'd never let him drive. He doesn't follow the rules of the road. :p
 
BoredSysAdmin

BoredSysAdmin

Audioholic Overlord
A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before.

What seems to be the problem, madam?"
"I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He's still not seeing things my way."
 
STRONGBADF1

STRONGBADF1

Audioholic Spartan
A woman goes into Cabela’s to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday. She doesn’t know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark glasses. She says to him, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?” He says, “Ma’am, I’m completely blind; but if you’ll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.”

She doesn’t believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, “That’s a 6-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-pound test line. It’s a good all-around combination, and it’s on sale this week for only $20.”

She says, “It’s amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I’ll take it!”

As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. “Oh, that sounds like a MasterCard,” he says.

She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was her who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn’t know that she was the only person around?

The man rings up the sale and says, “That’ll be $34.50 please.”

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, “Didn’t you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20? How did you get $34.50?”

He replies, “Yes, ma’am. The rod and reel is $20, but the Duck Call is $11, and the Catfish Bait is $3.50.”

She paid it and left without saying a word.
 
T

TankTop5

Audioholic General
A woman goes into Cabela’s to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday. She doesn’t know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark glasses. She says to him, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?” He says, “Ma’am, I’m completely blind; but if you’ll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.”

She doesn’t believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, “That’s a 6-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-pound test line. It’s a good all-around combination, and it’s on sale this week for only $20.”

She says, “It’s amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I’ll take it!”

As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. “Oh, that sounds like a MasterCard,” he says.

She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was her who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn’t know that she was the only person around?

The man rings up the sale and says, “That’ll be $34.50 please.”

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, “Didn’t you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20? How did you get $34.50?”

He replies, “Yes, ma’am. The rod and reel is $20, but the Duck Call is $11, and the Catfish Bait is $3.50.”

She paid it and left without saying a word.
This is being stolen
 
T

Trebdp83

Audioholic Field Marshall
Heard this one from a friend many years ago. If I’ve told it or you’ve heard it, my apologies.

A man and woman are having breakfast at the same table in a retirement home. The man leans over and asks the woman if she would like him to come over to her room tonight. A bit flustered, she says yes. Hard of hearing, he asks her to repeat herself. “I said YES!” she shouts as he smiles. That evening, while half naked in front of her vanity, she begins to feel concerned about her heart condition. She hears a knock at the door and without thinking goes to answer it with no top on. She opens the door and says to the man, “Before we get started I feel I must warn you that I have acute angina.” Looking down at her breasts, the man says, “Well, I certainly hope so because those are the ugliest tits I’ve ever seen!”:eek:
 

Latest posts


newsletter
  • RBHsound.com
  • BlueJeansCable.com
  • SVS Sound Subwoofers
  • Experience the Martin Logan Montis
Top