Man, that all sounds like such a hassle. I've never leased a personal vehicle. I HAVE leased a commercial vehicle for my business and that was a simple, no fuss, no muss affair and I walked away really happy (Daimler Financial for a Sprinter work van).
As far as a personal vehicle goes, while I'm not a lease kind of guy, I can totally see the appeal of Volvo's new "Care by Volvo" lease program. It's not cheap per se, but the flat rate prices include EVERYTHING but the fuel. Pays for the vehicle, the insurance, all maintenance including wear and tear items. It's also only a 2 year lease with getting an option to upgrade after only 1 year. I don't know about all the fine print, though. Sounds interesting.
Basically, they're trying to make car leasing like a subscription service. You only get two options for now, the S60 or the XC40, but they're both super nice cars and might be up your alley. I don't know, but could be worth checking out since dealers can no longer play the shady games with you since Volvo has set pricing.
https://www.volvocars.com/us/shopping-tools/purchase/care-by-volvo