Worst Movie Ever Made?

[Zarg]

SNL-Based Movies

How could anyone who purports to be a fan of fine cinema fail to see the genius of "Deuce Bigelow, Male Gigolo"? Man, that one's friggin' hilarious!

Surely you jest! In any case, I really liked the skit the first time I saw it on SNL, when it was called "Fred Garvin: Male Prostitute" and Danny Ackroyd did it. After that, not so much.

How many SNL-based movies should be on a "worst" list? "Wayne's World" was actually pretty good, but what about the others? "Coneheads", "Superstar", "Night at the Roxbury" ... "Pat"

And then there are the movies that seem(ed) like SNL skits, but weren't. "Dude, Where's My Car" and "Freddy Got Fingered" (already mentioned in this thread) are two.

 

[sjdgpt]

How could anyone who purports to be a fan of fine cinema fail to see the genius of "Deuce Bigelow, Male Gigolo"? Man, that one's friggin' hilarious!

There is funny, and then there are poor movies, sometimes poor movies are funny.

It's like that Cobra movie from Sly. I watch it every time it is on, just to watch the reaction of the street thugs about Sly and his car, and then the pizza scene... then I channel flip to a real movie.

 

[Rob Babcock]

I guess my sense of humor runs to the twisted, but I laughed my arse off at the chick with tourettes, the fake leg gags, the Eurotrash gigolo who owned the house, the chick with narcolepsy, etc. And c'mon- "That's a big bi*ch!" Plus I just think Rob Shnieder is hilarious.

Despite the superficial similarity between the Akroyd sketch and Duece (both are male prostitutes), comparing them is like comparing Police Academy and Serpico. Yeah, both are cop movies, but that's about where it ends.

 

[furrycute]

The astronauts wife. I can't believe I rented that one.

 

[Rob Babcock]

The astronauts wife. I can't believe I rented that one.

Yikes! I forgot that one. Ewww, such a stinker you gotta crack a window to get thru it! I dunno how they got uber-hottie Charlize Theron and Johnny Depp and still managed to make such a pile o' ****e.

 

[Vancouver]

Any movie with Hale Barry

 

[crashguy]

OPEN WATER sucked like a truck mounted sewer vac.

Best part about it is the 5 seconds of the blonde chicks rack.

 

[sjdgpt]

OPEN WATER sucked like a truck mounted sewer vac.

Best part about it is the 5 seconds of the blonde chicks rack.

Damn, now you have given me a reason to get the movie. Maybe you could burn me a copy of those important 5 seconds

 

[Rock&Roll Ninja]

Well since these are the WORST films, I think I'll add a few of my (least) favorite nominees (I'll skip most everything pre-1990 as they were all covered in the 14 seasons of Mystery Science Theater 3000).

House of the Dead: Never has a film so nauseatingly bad been unleashed on an unsuspecting public. Not only does the film lack any worthwhile story (and in a zombie shoot-em-up this isn't that bad of a problem), but even the filmmakers seemed unwilling to try. Some of the worse parts include *cameraman unable to keep acceptable distance from actors. Actors breathing fogs-up camera lens.*Zombies that jump 20' into the air easily explained by on-screen springboards (not even a shrub to cover them).*First zombies seen on-screen wearing the exact-same halloween costume zombie mask I keep on my front-porch scarecrow (It retails for $3.99).*Same zombie had red christmas-tree lights for eyes.* Torgo, from Manos:The Hands of Fate, makes a cameo as the boat Captains assistant.*Without bothering to try to explain the odds: everything on the island is an accomplished martial artist (even the zombies!).*Boat captain is a gun runner (luckily for everyone that has to kill zombies), Why would a gun runner have a career smuggling guns between an abandoned island and Portland, Oregon is anyones guess.*Coast Guard agent, while wandering around the island for no real reason, unloads an entire clip from her fully-automatic rifle into a crowd of people to kill a zombie before it even becomes violent (and thus nobody knew it was a dangerous zombie yet).*"Rave of the century" being held at spooky island. Concert promoters failed to check island for zombies, haunted houses, or even power lines before booking the DJ.*Asian girl in star-spangled jumpsuit does not get naked often enough.*Whenever someone dies, camera must spin around them five times.*For no appearent reason: film footage intercut with videogame footage at random intervals. And not even similar footage.* Two character (lets call them teen 1 and teen 2) just stop being in the film. They're there one shot...gone the next????*haunted house abandoned for 500 years remarkably well stocked with stuff.

Other terrible films:

Dark harvest
Dead above ground
Super Mario brothers
*** & Foot worship 4
Discipline disciples
Asylum of the damned
Blade 2
She
Queen of the damned
Adrenaline
darkwolf
blood moon
Ator the fighting eagle
Conan the destroyer
Gator Bait
last house on the left

 

[Rock&Roll Ninja]

Robot Jox kicked ***! I like to break out my impressions when I'm on my riding mower and about to run-over a dead bird of something

"Achilles! I will crush you!"

I also use "magnesium flares: many times brighter than the sun" in far too many situations.

 

[Peppy]

Many bad one in the past 7 pages of thread; but has any one seen "Hero" this summer ? I was looking for a good action movie this summer went we went to the drive in, I saw the pub and taught " Hey that look petty good !" No were it said that it was in god damn "mandarin" to start with ! What the persentage of population in North America who can understand that stuff ? 0.01% ? 0.02% maybe ? so what bozo with 5 year university think that everybody else like passing reading those long text, that often you don't have the time to finish before the next line come up. + praticly no action for 2 hours, same damn 5 minutes, short and boring story, stretch to to fill the screen , and 3 times !!! Each of them different only with few different perspective from each caracter mind. And to put the cherry on top of it, the special effect are so unbelivable that they must be the joke in the movie industry ! Few time I almost wish that one of these sword or arrow pop out of the screen and split my head or stab my heart. Might be "me" ! Maybe my french canadian brain, or my "intellectual" level is not high enough; but I have more that 300 DVD at home and it's no way that this DVD will never be part of them.

 

[BuddTX]

A GREAT 3 minute re-occuring sketch turned into a horrible movie!

Not even worth a comment!

Cabin Boy! "Wanna buy a monkey? " (David Letterman making a cameo appearance!)

I think that there were some other really bad SNL movies that came from 3 minute sketches too, but they were soo bad, I cannot even remember them!

Molly Shannon plays nerdy Catholic schoolgirl, Mary Katherine Gallagher,

Mary Katherine Gallagher: Sometimes, when I get real nervous, I stick my hand under my armpits and SNIFF 'EM!

Father Ritley: Body of Christ.
Evian Graham: Are these low-fat?

 

[Rock&Roll Ninja]

I forgot to mention Torque.

If you've ever ridden, or even seen a motorcycle: this motorcycle movie wasn't meant to be seen by you. The filmmakers ability to ignore reality is mind-boggling.

 

[BMXTRIX]

I've gotta say Cape Fear.

Any movie that has an intelligent villian and really, really, REALLY stupid 'heroes' needs to go ahead and let the villian win and kill off the dumb farts. I can't stand what rave reviews it got... The reviewers probably thought the heroes of the story were actually intelligent and did great things instead of just being phenomenally lucky.

Spiderman I thought was incredible: An adaptation of any story does not need to follow that exact story and should take advantage of the opportunity to rewrite and make things better. Mechanical web shooters were always hella-gay and the movie captured almost everything that a comic fan could want.

But, some are OCD about it all I guess. I think it is like the movie Hook. Hook got horrible reviews. Yet, it definitely came across as a fantasy movie to me. Very kid friendly and kid oriented, with some extremely unplausable silly antics. Hello! Ever see Peter Pan to begin with??? I thought it was one of the better fantasy films and was enjoyable as long as you viewed it that way. Bleh.

 

[jmgillespie]

There's a new kid in town that really blows and his name is Napoleon Dynamite the biggest waste of my time ever. Sure there is a funny part or two but the movie altogether is boring and retarded the funniest parts of the movie are screw ups like at the start when Napoleon meets Pedro and Pedro is at half staff lol I don't think that was suppost to be there. A few others:

Riddick (first movie was okay but this didn't even go along with it)
Oceans 12 (Julia Roberts looked like **** and what the hell did they think that was funny her playing herself in the movie)
Men seeking women (Will Farrell's first movie I bought it before seeing it will never happen again)

Could name more and probably worse ones but I try to forget the bad ones.

 

[mcwilson]

The Bounty

This is an older (circa 1984) movie. It has Mel Gibson, Anthony Hopkins, Liam Neeson, Laurence Olivier, Daniel Day-Lewis. Based on the cast and a cheap price (under $10), I bought this dog and man did I get ripped! It's a PoS!

I don't know how you could come up with a bad movie with that cast, but somehow they did it!

On another note, anyone interested in buying a slightly used DVD? A star studded, epic tale of mutiny on the high seas. Let the bidding begin...

 

[JoeE SP9]

Worst movie

I have heard from the critics that Plan Nine From Outer Space and Attack Of The Killer Tomato's are about as bad as it gets. My personal pick for worst ever is Pooty Tang. This film is so bad it makes me wish Edison had never lived.

 

[JoeE SP9]

Many bad one in the past 7 pages of thread; but has any one seen "Hero" this summer ? I was looking for a good action movie this summer went we went to the drive in, I saw the pub and taught " Hey that look petty good !" No were it said that it was in god damn "mandarin" to start with ! What the persentage of population in North America who can understand that stuff ? 0.01% ? 0.02% maybe ? so what bozo with 5 year university think that everybody else like passing reading those long text, that often you don't have the time to finish before the next line come up. + praticly no action for 2 hours, same damn 5 minutes, short and boring story, stretch to to fill the screen , and 3 times !!! Each of them different only with few different perspective from each caracter mind. And to put the cherry on top of it, the special effect are so unbelivable that they must be the joke in the movie industry ! Few time I almost wish that one of these sword or arrow pop out of the screen and split my head or stab my heart. Might be "me" ! Maybe my french canadian brain, or my "intellectual" level is not high enough; but I have more that 300 DVD at home and it's no way that this DVD will never be part of them.

Sorry Pepe, I recently saw Hero and loved it. Some of us don't mind reading the sub-titles. A little practice with books and magazines will increase ones reading speed and comprehension. The special effects were no more unbelievable than Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Iron Monkey or Kill Bill. Adding an English or French translation doesn't change anything but what you hear. I can't remember seeing any Kung Fu movie that didn't have unbelievable special effects. Anyone who has any martial arts experience at all knows the moves and effects in virtually all Kung Fu movies are pure fantasy. Bruce Lee movies excepted. All in all it's not how many movies you have, it's what kind of movies they are that matters.

 

[WmAx]

Other terrible films:

Dark harvest
Dead above ground
Super Mario brothers
*** & Foot worship 4
Discipline disciples
Asylum of the damned
Blade 2
She
Queen of the damned
Adrenaline
darkwolf
blood moon
Ator the fighting eagle
Conan the destroyer
Gator Bait
last house on the left

Hey...I actually liked Queen of The Damned. I thought it was a great pizza movie.

-Chris

 

[zipper]

Caddyshack 2..........perhaps the worst attempt at a sequel ever

28 days later..........this was so bad I started laughing during it & absolutely roared at the ending



Can we give an honorable mention to "Rocky 5" ?