First of all, I am all for the US invading a foreign country. This wasn't the first time. We have a long and proud history of invading smaller countries. And they never had the oil Iraq has. I thank President Bush making it possible for me to put gas in my cars because I have big cars and they guzzle up a lot of gas.
I also want to congratulate my President for a job well done. Fighting always put our brave soldiers at risk, even if we were fighting a much smaller country whose soldiers had AK-47s and we had high-tech laser-guided weapons and WMD (we would never use it, of course, except for that time in Japan.) The result has been outstanding. Our fearless and well-trained soldiers took over this weak-*** country in a few weeks. And for every American lost, thousands in the enemy population died.
The war against Iraq was easy compared to the task of convincing the world and the American people to support it. At this point Saddam's crime had been the invasion of Kuwait, and he had already been punished for that. To invade Iraq, we would have find out more terrible things about him. And this is where I am most proud of my President. You see, President Bush assembled a very capable pre-war intelligence team whose job was to find out if Iraq had WMD. This team quickly determined that Iraq had such weapon. In the face of this evidence, President Bush had no choice but to invade this country so that Saddam would never ever had a chance to use his WMD against us, a country thousand of miles away. Even though not one person in Iraq was smart enough to ask us to liberate them from the evil Saddam, we, out of the goodness of our heart, liberated them anyway.
Now that the war is over and we are in firm control of Iraq, I have had some times to reflect. We got rid of Saddam. We now own Iraq. The people in Iraq love us for what we did, but there are still these crazy insurgents who shoot at our brave soldiers at any chance they get. I guess these crazy folks just can't appreciate what we did for them. And the WMD? So far we have not found any. But we don't really care about that now, do we? The post-war intelligence team has linked Saddam to terrorist acts. I had never known Iraq to be a terrorist nation, but I believe whatever my President tells me. Thank you, President Bush.