My depression I've been dealing with.

KaatheSnake

KaatheSnake

Senior Audioholic
Your definitely ahead of your time for sure! We are glad you joined up on here! You bring a nice flare in here! Have a great weekend Mr Ryan!! ;)

Mike
I was listening to some of the early Beatles recordings, like "Do You Want to Know a Secret?" , and the stereo remix they have today is awful. The have the vocals panned hard right, and the backing band panned hard left. I think that's because they used 2 track reel to reel for that recording, put the backing band on one track, and the vocals and claves on the other. Early Beatles before "I Want to Hold Your Hand," which was the Beatles' first 4 track reel to reel recording I like better in mono. So much more realism to it that way. :)
Kind regards,
Ryan
 
Pogre

Pogre

Audioholic Slumlord
I lost my marbles and quit my job of 20 years a couple years ago. I got down to 128 lbs at one point and I'm 6' tall. My normal weight is 155-160 lbs (where I'm at now). I didn't realize I had lost so much weight until I saw a picture of myself standing with my family and saw how thin I was. It shocked me and I decided something had to change. I wasn't happy. I was very depressed and didn't even know it.

I sought some counseling and talked to my doctor to rule out any nutrient deficiencies or something bad, like the big C. I was really low on vitamin d, but everything else checked out. I couldn't get approved for the time off I wanted to take so I turned in my resignation. One of the hardest decisions I've ever made. I was a leader at work, running one of the busiest meat departments in the company and had been there for over 20 years. Something had to give, something had to change, so I made up my mind and left on good terms. I can always get my old job back, but truck retail. Done it my whole life and it's not worth the stress. Working in retail is a very unrewarding job and your reputation is based on today's fickle customers. Between that, lazy employees (I had a crew of 12 people. I think 4 of them were worth a poop) and impossible expectations I felt like too much was beyond my control and it made me crazy. Literally.

I don't have as much money, but I'm not broke and a lot happier now. Depression sucks.

Phew.
 
Trell

Trell

Audioholic Spartan
I lost my marbles and quit my job of 20 years a couple years ago. I got down to 128 lbs at one point and I'm 6' tall. My normal weight is 155-160 lbs (where I'm at now). I didn't realize I had lost so much weight until I saw a picture of myself standing with my family and saw how thin I was. It shocked me and I decided something had to change. I wasn't happy. I was very depressed and didn't even know it.

I sought some counseling and talked to my doctor to rule out any nutrient deficiencies or something bad, like the big C. I was really low on vitamin d, but everything else checked out. I couldn't get approved for the time off I wanted to take so I turned in my resignation. One of the hardest decisions I've ever made. I was a leader at work, running one of the busiest meat departments in the company and had been there for over 20 years. Something had to give, something had to change, so I made up my mind and left on good terms. I can always get my old job back, but truck retail. Done it my whole life and it's not worth the stress. Working in retail is a very unrewarding job and your reputation is based on today's fickle customers. Between that, lazy employees (I had a crew of 12 people. I think 4 of them were worth a poop) and impossible expectations I felt like too much was beyond my control and it made me crazy. Literally.

I don't have as much money, but I'm not broke and a lot happier now. Depression sucks.

Phew.
It's nice to hear that you are better now, and as you probably already know now, is that not only does depression sucks it is is also very dangerous. Sadly, I know this first hand within my own family.
 
Pogre

Pogre

Audioholic Slumlord
It's nice to hear that you are better now, and as you probably already know now, is that not only does depression sucks it is is also very dangerous. Sadly, I know this first hand within my own family.
I don't think I ever got to a point where I thought to "end it all" or anything, but subconsciously I was starving myself to death. It started with skipping lunches at work because we were always so short handed, but the work still had to be done. I was stressed out all the time, drinking a lot and just plain skipping meals.

I quit drinking. No counseling or anything. Just decided it was time. I was a high functioning alcoholic for decades. Never missed work because of a hangover and was able to successfully handle a management position the entire time. Looking back I don't know how I did it. Anyway, I think that's about when I started losing a lot of weight. I think I was getting all of my calories from alcohol, lol. When I stopped "supplementing" I didn't start eating more. I also learned that quitting drinking for a brain that's used to being soaked in alcohol for 30 years can really upset the chemistry that's been going on and disrupt the "normal" that your brain has gotten used to. I think it took me a couple years to get used to the new normal. I was a mess.

I was going through a lot of that when I first started posting here. When the home inspection thing fell through it sent me into another depression. To be honest that's why I stopped posting here for a while. I just wasn't feeling it... I tend to withdraw when I get like that. At one point I pretty much didn't even leave my house for over a year. I don't think I'm agoraphobic, I just had no desire to talk to anyone or do anything outside of keeping up on cleaning the house.

A rough childhood and family history of alcohol abuse didn't help matters much either. I was always a little different from the other kids. Kids can be very cruel.

At the moment things are okay. Haven't been drinking for over 5 years now and gained back the weight I lost. When I think about going back to my old job tho... I still have nightmares about working there. I worry too much. I worry about everything. Everything. It's a huge problem sometimes and I drive myself crazy. I've always been like that even from an early age. I can be very ocd-ish and organized. Sometimes it's crippling, and sometimes I consider it an attribute. I'm pretty good with attention to detail.

These guys have helped me so much.

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If you can, and you're an animal lover and depressed. Get a puppy! There is nothing like the unconditional love of a dog. Oh, buying audio equipment helps too. I really do enjoy my system! :p

I got a little carried away, I know, but this is something I can really identify with and sometimes a good purge loosens me up a little.
 
KEW

KEW

Audioholic Overlord
If you can, and you're an animal lover and depressed. Get a puppy! There is nothing like the unconditional love of a dog.
I can't remember where I saw/heard it, but I think this phrase wonderfully captures the special nature of dogs:
If I were half the man my dogs think I am, I would be a wonderful person, indeed!
 
KenM10759

KenM10759

Audioholic Samurai
The right job with the wrong boss can also be a big source of depression. I was definitely in a funk with the job I left at the tail end of October 2018. I had been in sales of tooling for machine shops, a factory guy supporting the distribution network. The boss I had for about 5 years was one of the best, but he hit 65 and wanted to retire.

Two of my coworkers bid on his job, I would have been happy to work for either though for different reasons. Being a big corporation with competing lines (run autonomously), people in other divisions could bid on jobs. The gave it to a 27 yr old with 4-1/2 years doing the same job I'd been doing for 7. No management experience that both my coworkers had. He inherited 7 sales professionals + one manufacturer's rep (no base salary, just commission and supporting other companies.) In his 1st three years, 5 left. Down to me, another guy near retirement and the rep, he wanted me to do reporting I'd never had to do despite my numbers being the 2nd highest in the group. I couldn't, and it stressed me out. He sat me down to put me on a "PIP" (performance improvement plan) so I asked why 2 others on PIP's no longer worked for the company. Deflect...it was their choice. (I know better, they were friends.) I tendered my resignation right then.

Now I have a job as a machinist again, something I did until 10.5 years ago...for 26 years. It meant about a 30% pay cut and no opportunity for bonuses I always earned, but now just 9.5 miles each way and ZERO stress. No more late nights, missed meals, follow-up e-mails, reports, tool ordering and testing. Home every day by 4PM, and happy. All the bills are still paid. Best choice I've made in decades.
 
Pogre

Pogre

Audioholic Slumlord
I can't remember where I saw/heard it, but I think this phrase wonderfully captures the special nature of dogs:
It really does Kurt. I like that a lot.

I met a guy once who told me he would never get another dog. I gave him a look and asked him "Why?". He got a sad look on his face and said, "They always die man.". It was then I realized he was mourning his last pet... and I couldn't argue with his logic.

That is our burden, the knowledge that you're most likely going to outlive an animal who considers you the center of the universe. They really do. My dogs are crushed when I scold them (which happens very rarely). And I think in a way that's the dog's burden. To love you no matter what. They're just built that way. Just love them back and appreciate the time you have, I guess. My Misty girl is gonna be 4 in December and it already makes me sad. I'm gonna be crushed when she leaves us and might not get another...

Yup. I drive myself crazy, lol.
 
Pogre

Pogre

Audioholic Slumlord
The right job with the wrong boss can also be a big source of depression. I was definitely in a funk with the job I left at the tail end of October 2018. I had been in sales of tooling for machine shops, a factory guy supporting the distribution network. The boss I had for about 5 years was one of the best, but he hit 65 and wanted to retire.

Two of my coworkers bid on his job, I would have been happy to work for either though for different reasons. Being a big corporation with competing lines (run autonomously), people in other divisions could bid on jobs. The gave it to a 27 yr old with 4-1/2 years doing the same job I'd been doing for 7. No management experience that both my coworkers had. He inherited 7 sales professionals + one manufacturer's rep (no base salary, just commission and supporting other companies.) In his 1st three years, 5 left. Down to me, another guy near retirement and the rep, he wanted me to do reporting I'd never had to do despite my numbers being the 2nd highest in the group. I couldn't, and it stressed me out. He sat me down to put me on a "PIP" (performance improvement plan) so I asked why 2 others on PIP's no longer worked for the company. Deflect...it was their choice. (I know better, they were friends.) I tendered my resignation right then.

Now I have a job as a machinist again, something I did until 10.5 years ago...for 26 years. It meant about a 30% pay cut and no opportunity for bonuses I always earned, but now just 9.5 miles each way and ZERO stress. No more late nights, missed meals, follow-up e-mails, reports, tool ordering and testing. Home every day by 4PM, and happy. All the bills are still paid. Best choice I've made in decades.
Oh man, does this feel familiar! Yes, that type of situation is very similar to what I experienced. Right down to the boss retiring. I had to get out of there.
 
KenM10759

KenM10759

Audioholic Samurai
Oh man, does this feel familiar! Yes, that type of situation is very similar to what I experienced. Right down to the boss retiring. I had to get out of there.
Shortly after I left, the manufacturer's rep gave it up too. He no longer had me to call for technical advice, and he also wasn't able to make the "kid" boss happy. That guy's team is now all his own hires except one guy, and that one guy is the only one hitting his sales goal. As a district, that manager hasn't reached goal yet in 3-1/2 years, but management still doesn't recognize what they did as being wrong? Fools. Glad to be out of the sales game because of what is has become, not for what it once was.
 
Pogre

Pogre

Audioholic Slumlord
Shortly after I left, the manufacturer's rep gave it up too. He no longer had me to call for technical advice, and he also wasn't able to make the "kid" boss happy. That guy's team is now all his own hires except one guy, and that one guy is the only one hitting his sales goal. As a district, that manager hasn't reached goal yet in 3-1/2 years, but management still doesn't recognize what they did as being wrong? Fools. Glad to be out of the sales game because of what is has become, not for what it once was.
Yup. They've gone through 4 guys in the last couple of years after I quit. One was fired, 2 stepped down and #4 is still there. Sales are down, gross profits are down and morale is in the toilet now. They can't handle the volume. My shop would do almost $200,000 a week in sales during the busy season. Just my department. That's a lot of product. It was pretty crazy. I was in that same shop for 13 years and they weren't planning to send me anywhere anytime soon.
 
Phase 2

Phase 2

Audioholic Chief
I don't think I ever got to a point where I thought to "end it all" or anything, but subconsciously I was starving myself to death. It started with skipping lunches at work because we were always so short handed, but the work still had to be done. I was stressed out all the time, drinking a lot and just plain skipping meals.

I quit drinking. No counseling or anything. Just decided it was time. I was a high functioning alcoholic for decades. Never missed work because of a hangover and was able to successfully handle a management position the entire time. Looking back I don't know how I did it. Anyway, I think that's about when I started losing a lot of weight. I think I was getting all of my calories from alcohol, lol. When I stopped "supplementing" I didn't start eating more. I also learned that quitting drinking for a brain that's used to being soaked in alcohol for 30 years can really upset the chemistry that's been going on and disrupt the "normal" that your brain has gotten used to. I think it took me a couple years to get used to the new normal. I was a mess.

I was going through a lot of that when I first started posting here. When the home inspection thing fell through it sent me into another depression. To be honest that's why I stopped posting here for a while. I just wasn't feeling it... I tend to withdraw when I get like that. At one point I pretty much didn't even leave my house for over a year. I don't think I'm agoraphobic, I just had no desire to talk to anyone or do anything outside of keeping up on cleaning the house.

A rough childhood and family history of alcohol abuse didn't help matters much either. I was always a little different from the other kids. Kids can be very cruel.

At the moment things are okay. Haven't been drinking for over 5 years now and gained back the weight I lost. When I think about going back to my old job tho... I still have nightmares about working there. I worry too much. I worry about everything. Everything. It's a huge problem sometimes and I drive myself crazy. I've always been like that even from an early age. I can be very ocd-ish and organized. Sometimes it's crippling, and sometimes I consider it an attribute. I'm pretty good with attention to detail.

These guys have helped me so much.

View attachment 30376View attachment 30377View attachment 30378

If you can, and you're an animal lover and depressed. Get a puppy! There is nothing like the unconditional love of a dog. Oh, buying audio equipment helps too. I really do enjoy my system! :p

I got a little carried away, I know, but this is something I can really identify with and sometimes a good purge loosens me up a little.
Nice photos of some very happy pets! Look at the smiles on their faces!!
 
Pogre

Pogre

Audioholic Slumlord
Nice photos of some very happy pets! Look at the smiles on their faces!!
My wife insisted that dogs can't smile. I asked her, "Well, do they look happy to you?". She said yes and I asked her "How can you tell they're happy by looking at them?"

"Shut up."

lol
 
Trell

Trell

Audioholic Spartan
My wife insisted that dogs can't smile. I asked her, "Well, do they look happy to you?". She said yes and I asked her "How can you tell they're happy by looking at them?"

"Shut up."

lol
Perhaps she meant that absence of a sad expression on the dog meant it was happy :D

https://arstechnica.com/science/2019/06/we-may-have-inadvertently-selected-for-muscles-on-dogs-faces/

"After studying the facial muscles of dogs and wolves, a US-UK team of researchers has now found that dogs have two muscles that wolves mostly lack. These muscles control the movements of the face near the eyes, and the researchers suspect that the muscles' presence helps the dogs make a sad-eyed face that we find appealing."​
 
panteragstk

panteragstk

Audioholic Warlord
I too had to move on from a job that just didn't care about me. Worked for a large company as a consultant for a few years, but worked for that particular company for 7 years before I quit. I had 5 bosses in 2 years. NONE of them were given any help in trying to get us any sort of support. Raises weren't happening. I got low balled pay wise on that job and was fine with it for a year. After that, and no support, I was done.

Went somewhere else and doubled my pay, which is where I should have been with my specific experience, and am happier, but a new set of challenges caused my wife to have to quit her job. Good for the kids, not the bank account. We aren't in a good situation right now for the first time in a VERY long time and it sucks. I'm lucky enough to not really ever get depressed or worry about things, but I do get stressed and it's getting to be a lot right now.

Really struggling with the fact that wifey may have to go back to work. Especially if it's retail. That just didn't work for us. If she doesn't go to retail, she's basically paying for daycare which doesn't help at all.

Adulting is fun...
 
D

Danzilla31

Audioholic Spartan
I too had to move on from a job that just didn't care about me. Worked for a large company as a consultant for a few years, but worked for that particular company for 7 years before I quit. I had 5 bosses in 2 years. NONE of them were given any help in trying to get us any sort of support. Raises weren't happening. I got low balled pay wise on that job and was fine with it for a year. After that, and no support, I was done.

Went somewhere else and doubled my pay, which is where I should have been with my specific experience, and am happier, but a new set of challenges caused my wife to have to quit her job. Good for the kids, not the bank account. We aren't in a good situation right now for the first time in a VERY long time and it sucks. I'm lucky enough to not really ever get depressed or worry about things, but I do get stressed and it's getting to be a lot right now.

Really struggling with the fact that wifey may have to go back to work. Especially if it's retail. That just didn't work for us. If she doesn't go to retail, she's basically paying for daycare which doesn't help at all.

Adulting is fun...
Hope everything works out
 
D

Danzilla31

Audioholic Spartan
I don't think I ever got to a point where I thought to "end it all" or anything, but subconsciously I was starving myself to death. It started with skipping lunches at work because we were always so short handed, but the work still had to be done. I was stressed out all the time, drinking a lot and just plain skipping meals.

I quit drinking. No counseling or anything. Just decided it was time. I was a high functioning alcoholic for decades. Never missed work because of a hangover and was able to successfully handle a management position the entire time. Looking back I don't know how I did it. Anyway, I think that's about when I started losing a lot of weight. I think I was getting all of my calories from alcohol, lol. When I stopped "supplementing" I didn't start eating more. I also learned that quitting drinking for a brain that's used to being soaked in alcohol for 30 years can really upset the chemistry that's been going on and disrupt the "normal" that your brain has gotten used to. I think it took me a couple years to get used to the new normal. I was a mess.

I was going through a lot of that when I first started posting here. When the home inspection thing fell through it sent me into another depression. To be honest that's why I stopped posting here for a while. I just wasn't feeling it... I tend to withdraw when I get like that. At one point I pretty much didn't even leave my house for over a year. I don't think I'm agoraphobic, I just had no desire to talk to anyone or do anything outside of keeping up on cleaning the house.

A rough childhood and family history of alcohol abuse didn't help matters much either. I was always a little different from the other kids. Kids can be very cruel.

At the moment things are okay. Haven't been drinking for over 5 years now and gained back the weight I lost. When I think about going back to my old job tho... I still have nightmares about working there. I worry too much. I worry about everything. Everything. It's a huge problem sometimes and I drive myself crazy. I've always been like that even from an early age. I can be very ocd-ish and organized. Sometimes it's crippling, and sometimes I consider it an attribute. I'm pretty good with attention to detail.

These guys have helped me so much.

View attachment 30376View attachment 30377View attachment 30378

If you can, and you're an animal lover and depressed. Get a puppy! There is nothing like the unconditional love of a dog. Oh, buying audio equipment helps too. I really do enjoy my system! :p

I got a little carried away, I know, but this is something I can really identify with and sometimes a good purge loosens me up a little.
Man thanks for your courage and honesty posting I really appreciate your sharing I too can relate. I had a head injury awhile back and after it cleared up I was diagnosed with bipolar mixed. I don't get the manias or euphoria I get more of the depressions and really really nasty anxiety. I'm stabilized on the right stabilizer. But now it's just slowly getting off the anxiety meds to continue healing its got its ups and downs but it's been worth every day to get to where I'm at today. Luckily my job I've done well in even going through the worst of it blessed for that need the benefits Dogs are the greatest bro I don't know where I'd be without my little Franco! And audio is a huge comfort in my life.
 
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