Jokes... Heard any good ones lately?

[cornemuse]

 

[Verdinut]

 

[panteragstk]

View attachment 36553

One of the better quotes from game of thrones "I drink just enough, too often"

 

[Verdinut]

 

[Verdinut]

 

[Verdinut]

 

[Verdinut]

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'
__________

 

[Ponzio]

Donald John Trump

 

[Verdinut]

A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'

 

[Verdinut]

 

[Verdinut]

A young son asked,
'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'

 

[panteragstk]

A young son asked,
'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'

Short, to the point, honest. Nice job.

 

[Verdinut]

A man is at the restaurant with his mistress.
In an outburst of romantism, he tells her: "Tell me words that will raise my heart rate"
She replies: "Your wife is sitting behind you!"

 

[cornemuse]

 

[Verdinut]

This is Alexander 10 seconds before being named Alexandra:

 

[Verdinut]

It was a long time ago when girls cooked like their mother.

Now, they drink like their father!

 

[panteragstk]

It was a long time ago when girls cooked like their mother.

Now, they drink like their father!

 

[MR.MAGOO]

Psychics are complaining they've lost a lot of business because of the pandemic.

They should have seen it coming.

 

[Verdinut]

Mother: "Anna, do you understand why I put you in a corner?

Little girl: "Is it because I shaved the cat? But it's dad's fault, the other day he was telling his friend that he liked shaved pussies!"

 

[panteragstk]

Last night I was at a bar and saw a girl get her nipple pierced right in front of me....

Long story short, I suck at darts.