Jokes... Heard any good ones lately?

MR.MAGOO

MR.MAGOO

Audioholic Field Marshall
Not really a joke, thought those who have done some home remodel / improvement would find this amusing.

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Alex2507

Alex2507

Audioholic Slumlord
Does anyone else think it's weird that we have to send nudes to the mods to post in the steam vent?
 
SithZedi

SithZedi

Audioholic General
I saw a car parked down the road with a bumper sticker. The sticker said “I miss New York City”


So I smashed his window in and stole his brand new radio.
This reminds me of a Wall Street Journal? story from the 1980s.

After repeated thefts, a guy who was tired of replacing both the driver's side window and his AM/FM/Cassette deck in his car, finally gave up.
One evening, he parked his car with the infamous "No Radio" sign on the dashboard.
Next day he finds his window smashed with a written note that read..."Get One"
 
D

Dude#1279435

Audioholic Samurai
Mr Potato Sack doesn't have anything on Ms Voorhees, eh? :)
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rjharle

rjharle

Audioholic
The Sunday school gives the students an assignment to explain what part of their body is closest to God?
The students come back the next week for the presentation.

Little Sally is up first and she says my EYES
Because my eyes are at the top of my body and I think they are closest to God.
The teacher responds - very good Sally

Next is Little Billy and he says my Hands
Because when I pray my hands are up and pointing to God.
The teacher responds - very good Billy

Next up is Little Johnny, and he says my FEET.
The teacher puzzled asks Johnny why your feet?
Jonny responds when I was passing my Mom's room
she was on the bed with her feet up in the air yelling Oh God I'm Coming I'm Coming God
She would've gone to, but Dad was on top of her holding her down.
 
Verdinut

Verdinut

Audioholic Ninja
The farmer allows walkers to cross his field for free,
... But the
bull charges!
 
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