Have I been stood up?

[Joe Schmoe]

If you were at all like this toward her...can you really blame her?

Of course I was not at all like this toward her. I speak my mind on the forum. I am a perfect gentleman when talking to a lady.
Not sure where you get the whole "obsessed with tis one" concept. I had largely given up on her by the time I started this thread. My recent comments apply with complete generality.
I am shocked at the extreme lack of manners today. When I was young and asked a girl out the possible responses were "no thanks", "sure", or "I would but..."

 

[Johnd]

Well, I don't believe I ever stated that you were "obsessed."' But since you bring it up...

I did write that you may appear fixated...and that's not a good thing. And you are still talking about her, even if only here. So...

Until you find a new love interest, it may be more difficult to let go of these fond memories. And I can't speak of "women" in general. I only know a few, have only loved a few, and I cannot draw inferences on all women from my few experiences.

This one clearly isn't your cup of tea. Rather than keep pronouncing that, keep your good attitude, display (and develop) your best attirubutes, while ridding yourself of any flaws defects. It's real easy. That's my $0.02 for what it's worth. Second guessing one's manner and intentions serves no purpose here.

 

[Pyrrho]

Absolutely. A simple "no" would have sufficed. Taking my contact information and not using it was rude and uncalled-for.

Wow. You approach a woman at work, and you expect her to simply say "no" to every guy who hits on her there? What do you think would happen if she did that with every guy? Do you think some of them would cause trouble and argue with her? Saying, "oh, come on, give me a chance" & etc. Do you think some of them might complain to the manager or owner that she is rude? Do not imagine that everyone is the same as you are. And she cannot know what sort of man you are when she does not know you well. She needs to deal with people at work in a way that is not going to cause a fuss. If she ended up in arguments and quarrels with a bunch of guys who are making purchases, just how long do you think she would be working there?

I think you have unrealistic expectations, and are not considering the position she is in while at work. If you cannot see things from her point of view, she is right not to contact you.

 

[Joe Schmoe]

Wow. You approach a woman at work, and you expect her to simply say "no" to every guy who hits on her there?

Those she is not interested in? Definitely.
If the manager doesn't understand her right to turn down guys who are hitting on her, then she is working for the wrong manager.
Nobody suggested being rude about it, merely decisive.

 

[Pyrrho]

Those she is not interested in? Definitely.
If the manager doesn't understand her right to turn down guys who are hitting on her, then she is working for the wrong manager.
Nobody suggested being rude about it, merely decisive.

So you think that she should respond to customers in a way that is more likely to cause problems? Really? No reasonable manager wants people arguing with a cashier, or even just engaging in a more lengthy conversation (that isn't going to lead to more sales), particularly if there are others waiting in line to buy. This has nothing to do with her right to turn down dates, it has to do with the smooth operation of the business. She needs to react to people in a way that allows her to not go out with people she does not wish to AND to avoid unnecessary problems in the workplace. Taking someone's email address and moving on to the next customer does that. Simply saying "no", while effective in some cases, is going to lead in many cases to, at the very least, extra time wasted which may understandably annoy those waiting in line to buy.

Imagine you run a business, and you have too cashiers. One does not waste extra time with customers (in non-business related ways), and one does. Which is the better employee? Clearly, she needs to avoid unnecessary problems with customers. Why do you not understand this?

 

[Johnd]

My simple comment is (and this is not in any way derogatory toward you Joe):

the very expectation of her to respond in a certain manner: "No, thank you, I'd rather not", or " No" or "Yes" or "Yes, yes, please YES!!! Take me away NOW!!! You veritable hunk of man!" (I threw that last one in there for effect) is an expectation that is doomed for failure...eventually. Some women will ignore you, some will say "No," some may scream "NO!!!", and some may say "Yes, that would be nice." Be prepared for all of 'em. And it's occurred to me Joe, you seem to spend a lot of time around here lately. I have no objection, mind you. It's just an observation. Less time here could be spent honing your "woman skills." Have no expectation.

 

[Sheep]

What is wrong with this simple scenario?

Me: "Would you like to go out?"
her: "No".
the end.

It would go like that if you were trying to date me Honestly I wouldn't worry about it, there's more fish in the sea (we need to get off this fish analogy).

SheepStar

 

[mtrycrafts]

... (we need to get off this fish analogy).
SheepStar

Yes, but it works in this case, unlike cars and audio

 

[highfihoney]

When i was single i had a plan & it worked like a champ,i would ask every girl i met out to party,forget that date for coffee crap,ask them to go get hammered with you,toke a few bad ones,pour a ton of gin down their necks & your in like flint.

 

[Alex2507]

Flynn. In like Flynn. Errol Flynn. Movie actor from the early 1900's who was good looking and swung both ways in Hollywood. No matter what, he was getting some.

BTW I like the new avatar.

 

[mouettus]

What is wrong with this simple scenario?

Me: "Would you like to go out?"
her: "No".
the end.

Nothing wrong with that. I understand your frustration. I think the same. But just replace "no" with "no thanks, i'm not really interested to go out". Clever.

I've had this friend (Annie) that had a friend (Natasha) who found me cute on pics (saw me on the computer). So she asked if I could come over and watch some movies with them. I remember leaving at 4 that morning. We cuddled up on the sofa, she played in my hair the whole shabang. Then, the day after, I asked my friend about Nat's impressions: Not that cute in person, big tongue (wtf first time I've heard that one), and too interested. Wow. Can you be more mean?! Why would she lie?

The whole point of that story is that women are not comfy to tell you it doesn't work out. You have to learn how to read between the lines... of a book whritten in an unknown language. lol

Still like that fart story though. So romantic! But if it screwed up only because of that it's pretty mean. I would've laughed and then make love on that river bed!

 

[highfihoney]

Flynn. In like Flynn. Errol Flynn. Movie actor from the early 1900's who was good looking and swung both ways in Hollywood. No matter what, he was getting some.

BTW I like the new avatar.

Its in like flint,as in "our man flint".

The rosiebeast avatar is awesome,rosies giant head on ron jeremy's body,a perfect match.

 

[Alex2507]

Its in like flint,as in "our man flint".

The rosiebeast avatar is awesome,rosies giant head on ron jeremy's body,a perfect match.

Thanks. I actually did have the Flynn version explained to me by some one. I specifically asked if it was Flynn or Flint and then still didn't get it.

I thought Rosiebeast was just a hairy wrecked guy. You are my guide to Americana.

 

[ParadigmDawg]

Like I said from the from the start, she said no when she asked for your info and did not give you hers. That's the way it is now so get used to it and move on. There are a bunch of 'em out there so keep going.

 

[Johnd]

Thanks. I actually did have the Flynn version explained to me by some one. I specifically asked if it was Flynn or Flint and then still didn't get it.

I thought Rosiebeast was just a hairy wrecked guy. You are my guide to Americana.

The only assimilations I make with the saying "In with Flynn" are Edward Flynn's close affiliation with FDR and Erroll Flynn. Though I'm not certain how the saying originated. It certainly has nothing to do with flyfishing.

 

[Davemcc]

The only assimilations I make with the saying "In with Flynn" are Edward Flynn's close affiliation with FDR and Erroll Flynn. Though I'm not certain how the saying originated. It certainly has nothing to do with flyfishing.

Flint was a secret agent, a spy who could infiltrate anything. Ergo, in like Flint.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059557/

 

[Johnd]

Dave, you're certainly making the rounds this morning.

Thanks. That would explain the subtle difference between the two:

"In with Flynn"

"In like Flint"

Yeah. I remember seeing that moving once or twice. I've always liked James Coburn. Thanks again.

 

[Haoleb]

Lately I have found myself not wanting to post in forums anymore but I have a story to tell...

I have tried to meet someone for a little while. I am not the most outgoing person so If i see a girl like when im out in town somewhere im pretty much not going to walk up and introduce myself. Just not who I am. So i figured I would try out online dating. A little more my speed i guess. So I sign up. Look around. Nobody i find intersting in my area. Then I look and there is someone who just moved here. I email her and we talk a little bit and then she doesnt respond back for a couple days and I figure shes lost interest. Then she writes me saying she just gets distracted when emailing me so she gives me her phone number and says to call. So here I am on like cloud 9 right... So I call her. I did have a couple beers first just to loosen up because I dont want to sound like a douche seeing as this is my first chance to really make an impression. (No i didnt have more than a couple because thats not a very smart way to go.. I know that much.) We get to talking for 10 mins then she has to go but says she will call me when she has more time.

So at this point I am pretty proud of myself because there were no akward pauses or anything. I felt we hit it off pretty well. A couple days later, no call. she emails me and first thing she says is "You seemed really quiet on the phone" and she still wanted to get to know me more and maybe be friends... Ok. well yeah I am a quiet type of person. In a group of people I would rather sit back and watch than be blabbing my mouth off but seemed quiet? Whaaa?! We were talking the whole time like I had known her forever.

I will never understand women.

 

[Johnd]

Pretty good story Haoleb. Unfortunately it didn't work out better.

I will never understand women.

You don't have to. And I don't pretend to. But the first step in meeting women is to know that there are women out there that want to meet men. And the good ones want a good man. And the understanding women know some men have their nuances. And most men already know most women have their nuances. And one of those nuances are awkwardness or shyness of the unknown and fear of rejection (for some).

Multiple lines, multiple hooks. I will never conscribe to the theory that there is one right woman for each man. With the billions of people on the Earth, the odds have to be a little better than that...wouldn't you say? They just have to be. Maybe 1.1 to 1.

Multiple lines, multiple hooks. And although the fishing is oft better in the morning, a good fisherman knows to try morning, noon and night. And to try different bait at different locations. Better luck on your next trip Haoleb. Good evening.

 

[Pyrrho]

Its in like flint,as in "our man flint".

The rosiebeast avatar is awesome,rosies giant head on ron jeremy's body,a perfect match.

"In like Flint" was a play on "in like Flynn". You see, for people who watched the "Flint" movies when they first came out, they would have understood it as being derived from "in like Flynn" for Errol Flynn's legendary prowess. He was a huge star and women were very interested in him. It was said, with only slight exaggeration, that he (Errol Flynn) could have any woman he wanted, and have them pretty much as soon as he wanted them. So "in like Flint" is a pun.