No soul searching here, just an observation. It's occurred to me that my life is quite a bit different than I imagined as a kid. I always figured that I'd be married with kids by now. Oh, well. I wouldn't trade Niki for anything. when i was 10 i thought i would have a nice pearl white Mercedes sl500 by the time i was 16.... i guess that's quite different from your situation but i don't think anyone actually grows up to be what they thought they would be. except Bruce. he knew he would be great from the beginning.