Sorry about the news bro. Support to your wife too, that's tough.
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As far as the pool, there are lots of things that make a difference with a pool. It has to work with the house, the yard, etc.
I like infinity pools a lot, with good lighting. Basically the difference is the drain is on the outside, so it floods into the drain. With the bottom painted black, it can look very trick.
Depending on how much sun your pool gets is if you'll want it heated or chilled. They have heater and chiller single units now, and I highly recommend a chiller for the summertime. They aren't that expensive, the electricity can be though depending on the size of the pool.