I agree with this but only as half of the story.
Tweaking by ear often means a step away from the great sound towards someone’s personal taste.
I would be ready to make a bet that you could find more cases where speakers that are perfectly capable of decent sound sound awful because of the entire setup and the owner is ready to jump at you saying that if you think speakers sound bad that’s because your hearing is not as good as his.
Ears adapt. They will always bend their backs under the weight of ones ego. They can adapt to bad sound as well as good. And never ever will you find a guy who’ll say these speakers sound great to me because my ears adapted to bad sound. It’s always the other way around.
The entire Bose sales strategy in having their shops far away from others relies on people’s ears adapting.
Another thing, if you turn on the mic and start registering sound and then mic’s wife comes in starts bitching how he doesn’t register her anymore, but always registers some music and sounds and how he’s not there when she needs him, the mic will NOT start hating those same sounds he enjoyed a second ago.
The fact that his ears are more relevant to one is simply because they are the bottle neck between him and the sound and he has to please them. But that fact tells us very little about the sound and the quality of the speakers. Perhaps he just likes the speakers because they can play as bad as he needs them to play.
The reason I would never rush to please and accommodate my ears is because those same treacherous ears could ask for a completely different set of speakers the very next week.
I try to learn what good speakers are through reading research and then I tell my ears “this is what I want you to adapt to, rather than some Bose, Magnat, kevlar ripping my ear drums, Rega, ZuAudio etc.” As long as you go by ears you might have just adapted to a bad thing like a beginner on an ill tuned guitar playing and still not knowing he is out of tune. And if he is on a desert island he’ll carry on playing out of tune until the world ends.
Ears/hearing change because of exposure to noise/sound, weather and other factors but they don't adapt to the sound differences- that's where the listener's mind steps in and as you wrote, their ego. This is the reason some don't like small or large speakers- because they have preconceptions about small or large speakers. If a small speaker sounds great, it's better to use that than a speaker of a different size, but only if the person can let go of the idea that they're small and that may affect their ego- "bigger is better", right? Personally, I'm far more impressed by a small speaker that digs deep into the bass region than a large one that reaches the same range.
I somewhat disagree about avoiding personal tailoring of the sound for a person's hearing- in order for them to hear the sound 'as intended', they need to do some tweaking because it's well known that everyone's hearing is different, especially if hearing damage enters the scenario. However, that makes the system sound good for one person, not everyone. If someone is the only one to use the system, I think personal EQ is a good thing but as you also wrote, they won't like what they hear in the outside world.
Bose. Yeah. They also require that the dealer not be able to make direct comparisons between their speakers and other brands/models in a store. In reality, I think their Acoustimass system sounds OK for the sound of people speaker, as long as the voice isn't too bassy- then, it becomes very apparent that the satellite cubes and "subwoofer" are in different places. I heard a pair of their outdoor speakers that sounded OK, too. Beyond that, I'm not a fan.
If I have to listen to another mic bitching about her husband's listening habits...........
That said, for systems that move, like the ones for bands and speaking engagements, the system HAS TO be equalized to accommodate for the venue's acoustics- that's not negotiable. Fixed installations (for distributed audio) need to be equalized too, if the desired response is to be achieved. That, too, is for making the changes needed to adjust for the venue because it's not a given that the acoustics will be anything other than OK at best, or bad.