Snake oil alert...

[lovinthehd]

But you know man, when I use this Aryre Remote control for my CD player, which is milled out of a solid block of aluminum and has to have 4 hex bolts removed to change the battery, I really think the tracks change with more "authority" and greater "openness" than when I use the cheap Korean Logitech universal remote.

(PS: I was given the Ayre...I never would have paid that much for a cd player....but it has the goofiest remote I have seen..it really is milled out of aluminum, requires a hex wrench to change the battery (I guess one should only use special AAA batteries with it....), weights half a pound but has tiny buttons and bad ergonomics and you have to hit a non-illuminated button to illuminate the other 4 buttons that illuminate....Oh, and now it doesn't work. the IR diode burned out or maybe a connection failed when I changed the battery last, cause when you open the case the change the battery the entire PCB board is exposed and the battery cage just flops out....Hey, wait a minute, I just realized the problem! The battery cage/holder thingy seems to be made out of cheap plastic. and the wires that connect it to the PCB board seem to just be normal copper wires and don't even have any markings for directionality! Well, live and learn. Next time I will know its worth it to spend much more on a CD player with a remote with a battery cage made out of a better material, like carbon fiber and connected with pure silver audio quest battery leads (which use a tiny watch battery to impart a charge to the dialectic!).

Lol wonder if, like the time they repackaged an Oppo player, that something similar happened with the remote for appearance's sake....

 

[music4cities]

FYI, Ayre sent an email advising me to go buy a replacement laser assembly before Pioneer stops making the model.

There you go: fancy Ayre Universal disc player, with pioneer laser and transport. I don't know what DACs it has...likely Wolfson. I guess one pays for the custom digital filters and super thick aluminum casing, balanced line outs (plus unbalanced) And a XLR digital out -- I have not looked to see if XLR to spdf or RCA digital coax cables exist...though I gotta ask why one would use the digital out if you went to trouble of buying this in the first place.

 

[Pogre]

Hey thanks for catching that....my fat thumbs on small phone screen. me clumsy. fixed...sorry dudes. Meant to thumps up you!

Okay, I'm heading off now to levitate my speaker cables into the air using superconducting mag-lev cable supports, after which I need to set up the the de-gaussing system needed to negate the em effects of the mag-lev supports. You won't believe how levitating speaker wires off the ground imparts a tonal smoothing yet more precise imaging. Its like a veil has been lifted. night and day!

Of course ALL these supports need to be supported themselves by semi-fossilized teak wood from an endangered Peruvian rain forest, harvested by virgin Yamamamo tribe people -- because everyone knows that the Yamamamo harvesting technique imparts special properties into the wood grain which really helps open up the sound. Virgins help impart a tonal purity to the second order harmonics. No cheap Chinese supports for me!

Though I do find Chinese Virgins make the best green pigment for my bespoke CD edge painting instrument -- I heard about the amazing differences in sound produced by coloring the edge of CDs with a sharpie. I could not believe a cheap marker would perform as well as a custom made pigment applied with a the feather from the extinct Dodo bird. Boy was I right. The $15,000 I spent on milling the machine out of solid basalt, taxidermied Dodo specimen and Chinese virgin pigment was immediately worth it. Those poorly mastered CDs from the mid-1990s suddenly sounded amazing!

then I will be evacuating the room of "air" so that the sound can be transmitted with the utmost purity and zero interaction....

oh...wait....

Brilliant Pebbles is the current snake oil king in my book. I've yet to see anything top the offerings on that site. lol

 

[music4cities]

Brilliant Pebbles is the current snake oil king in my book. I've yet to see anything top the offerings on that site. lol

Brilliant Pebbles !!! Oh auditory orgasmic bliss!!!! Those are fantastic!!!! Thanks for pointing those out! I will have to study them in detail!

Though I can see immediately that the crystalline resonances are not being fully optimized in their current offerings because the magical properties of the pebbles are compromised by being enclosed in a cheap, likely chinese, baggie. Even worse, it may be a baggie made in Mexico, or even, and I shudder to think of it, Florida!

That is why I am offering a special product to my Audioholics compadres:

I have discovered the superior acoustic performance of zip-locks made in Norway! When I swapped out the cheap plastic ziplocks I used to store my un-used cables in and placed them instead in bespoke Norwegian polymer pouches the change was so apparent my wife in another room asked if I got new speakers!

Even better, as you store cables in them, the Norwegian polymer pouch realigns the crystals within the conductors and supercharges the dielectrics with gnomic synergies. "Breaking in" a cable is not nearly enough...they need "aging" in the pouch for at least 5 years to bring out their full potential.

Don't believe me? Well, just buy some Norwegian polymer pouches and seal your interconnects inside them; put them in a dark closet at a steady temperature of 69.54 degrees F and 52.4% relative humidity. In five years, take them out and reconnect them. You won't recognize how they sound!

If you don't agree with the AMAZING transformation your patience and pouch has imparted, you can just return the pouches for a full refund! We have a no questions asked full refund policy on all all pouches bought within 2 years so long as you have properly aged your cables in them for the required 5 years (less a 15% restocking fee...because now I have to resell these used pouches as refurbished on Accessories4Less....)

Each pouch can be used twice, and will hold one 1 meter long cable. That is 10 years of cable aging per pouch! Making the yearly cost of each pouch only $1.50 (plus $15 shipping and handling...we have to put them in another pouch, which we call an "envelope", to mail them to you after all...).

How do these pouches do this? I don't know, but I know 100% its doing it. I suspect it may have something to do with the singer from 1980s Norwegian pop band A-ha, whose yodeling majesty imparts a resonance echo sealed within the pouch's polymers.


You can also request an upgraded "zip" seal -- it is blue in color instead of clear. Whatever you do, stay away from so-called pouches with red zip seals...red is the worst performing color for zip seals.

 

[Pogre]

Well the pebbles are really meant to be used in conjunction with the Frog Jumping in Water Sound. Only then can you truly appreciate what Machina Dynamica brings to the table. This is cutting edge stuff.

 

[music4cities]

Well the pebbles are really meant to be used in conjunction with the Frog Jumping in Water Sound. Only then can you truly appreciate what Machina Dynamica brings to the table. This is cutting edge stuff.

The Machine Dynamica site is satire, I hope....even though I can add the jumping frog sound and the teleportation thing to my PayPal cart and it looks like I could actually buy it...right?

Because any decent audiophile tweaker KNOWS that frogs are, at best, mid fi. If you really want to get any appreciable difference on hi-end systems, you need the POISON TOAD pee on leaf sound!

For each Poinson Toad Pee of Leaf Sound you purchase, I will send you one Leaf ... which is hand cut into a bi-symmetrical elliptical shape from of a special 2-dimensional cellulose material. Some would say that is just paper cut into a circle. Don't believe it! Trust your own ears! A medium sized living room will need four leafs. Each leaf has been impregnated with the secretions of a poison dart toad from Madagascar - no cheap Chinese poison toads for me! All you need to do is apply one drop of water -- deionized spring artisanal spring water only please (not included) using the hydration application device included for free in an order of four leaves. Use rubber gloves so you don't contaminate the leaf secretion essence with oils from your hand. Now, call your wife, husband, so and/or child over to your preferred listing area. Larger families may need additional leaves. Apply a moistened leaf to each temple of your life partner and/or prodigy first; then do the same for your own temples. Turn on the music, and enjoy as you are almost immediately paralyzed into auditory oblivion.

If, depending on successful resuscitation, you don't agree...

 

[Pogre]

The Machine Dynamica site is satire, I hope....even though I can add the jumping frog sound and the teleportation thing to my PayPal cart and it looks like I could actually buy it...right?

Because any decent audiophile tweaker KNOWS that frogs are, at best, mid fi. If you really want to get any appreciable difference on hi-end systems, you need the POISON TOAD pee on leaf sound!

For each Poinson Toad Pee of Leaf Sound you purchase, I will send you one Leaf ... which is hand cut into a bi-symmetrical elliptical shape from of a special 2-dimensional cellulose material. Some would say that is just paper cut into a circle. Don't believe them! A medium sized living room will need four leafs. Each leaf has been impregnated with the secretions of a poison dart toad from Madagascar - no cheap Chinese poison toads for me! All you need to do is apply one drop of water (using the droplet application device included for free in an order of four leaves), to each leaf. Using rubber gloves so you don't contaminate the leaf essence with oils from your hand. Now, all your wife, husband, so or child over to your preferred listing area. Larger families may need additional leaves. Apply a moistened leaf to each temple of your life partner and/or prodigy first; then do the same for your own temples. Turn on the music, and enjoy as you are almost immediately are paralyzed into auditory oblivion.

If, depending on successful resuscitation, you don't agree...

That's the best part. That site is not satire and will sell you all of those products. It sure reads like satire tho! I'm still waiting for someone to post something that's more ridiculous. lol

 

[music4cities]

That's the best part. That site is not satire and will sell you all of those products. It sure reads like satire tho! I'm still waiting for someone to post something that's more ridiculous. lol

Pogre, well, I am flummoxed. Two questions:

1) Could be just very committed satire, part of the joke. Stephen Colbert once ran for president and you could donate to his SuperPAC...even though it was all just satire. I note this because, well, that is the only way to explain selling plain FROG jumping in water sound? It is SO OBVIOUSLY an ironic play on the UNIVERSALLY recognized but rarely KNOWN phenomena of Poison Toad Pee on Leaf sound....Please.....

2) why does your avatar look like U2's Edge -- or is that U2's The Edge -- circa Acting Baby, circa early 1990s. AKA, when they were, momentarily, bad ass.

Are you, by chance, Edge, or perhaps, actually, The Edge? Cause, well, that would explain a lot.

 

[Pogre]

Pogre, well:

1) Could be just very committed satire, part of the joke. Stephen Colbert once ran for president and you could donate to his SuperPAC...even though it was all just satire. I note this because, well, that is the only way to explain selling plain FROG jumping in water sound? It is SO OBVIOUSLY an ironic play on the UNIVERSALLY recognized but rarely KNOWN phenomena of Poison Toad Pee on Leaf sound....Please.....

2) why does your avatar look like U2's Edge -- or is that U2's The Edge -- circa Acting Baby, circa early 1990s. AKA, when they were, momentally, bad ass.

Are you, by chance, Edge, or perhaps, actually, The Edge? Cause, well, that would explain a lot.

1.) Yup, could be just really commited to satire, I don't think so tho. You'd think they'd let you in on the joke eventually, no? If nobody gets it, it's not very good satire.

2.) My avatar does in fact resemble me quite closely, though I don't always wear a beanie (worked in the cold, I was a butcher for 30 years) and the beard is fuller and greyer now since I made that av. You may have just inspired me to craft an updated one. I made that one like 10 years ago.

You got me, but I promised Bono I wouldn't reveal my true identity so please don't say anything. He's such a bitch about stuff like that.

I feel almost flattered that you have taken such an interest in my avatar.

 

[music4cities]

On point 1: You are correct of course. that would make it perhaps the lamest of satire.

on point 2: I KNEW IT...you are the bad ass butcher of Dublin, wielding his "ax" with echo delay abandon. its the same beanie hat and everything....check it:

 

[Pogre]

At least you didn't say I look like meatloaf...

 

[music4cities]

Lol. Not seeing the resemblance to meat loaf, my friend. Hey the edge is pretty cool. It's not like I said you resemble Adam Clayton.


So I expect you will be ordering, what, half a dozen Norwegian Sonic Pouches? You want the blue zip upgrade? You won't regrets it. Hold on while I get my PayPal details for you to send me the money.

 

[Pogre]

Lol. Not seeing the resemblance to meat loaf, my friend. Hey the edge is pretty cool. It's not like I said you resemble Adam Clayton

I know. I'm very familiar with U2. They were huge in my early 20's.

 

[music4cities]

Having huge U2s in Your early 20s is pretty normal. Nothing to be ashamed of.

As you get older and are married for a while, the frequency of huge U2s is reduced. Most of us are happy with the occasional Coldplay, maybe getting some Radiohead on your birthday.

 

[Pogre]

Having huge U2s in Your early 20s is pretty normal. Nothing to be ashamed of.

As you get older and are married for a while, the frequency of huge U2s is reduced. Most of us are happy with the occasional Coldplay, maybe getting some Radiohead on your birthday.

Maybe for some...

 

[killdozzer]

At least there's someone out there you can still trust!! Like Crystal Cable:

That's 26328.20 US Dollars. These cables blow you while you're listening and tell you "they lov you long tajm"

 

[Auditor55]

Can the Audioholics Forum make it official and declare Hi-Res audio as snake oil.

 

[killdozzer]

Can the Audioholics Forum make it official and declare Hi-Res audio as snake oil.

?

 

[Auditor55]

?

 

[mtrycrafts]

Interesting, thanks.