wow,....I asked klipsch what to set the ssover at and they said 40.
You've always got to consider who is answering the question.
Klipsch is not going to tell you to avoid using the bass from their speakers because many people would interpret that as saying their speakers can't play bass well.
Your interest is in balancing the resources you have available (sub, AVR, speakers) so as to get the best balance of pulling from all resources at a level which does not over-tax any one component. So we want you to offload the power from the AVR to the sub's amp. This is also a safety measure because a well designed sub's amp and driver are designed to be pretty much idiot proof (SVS right?) - the amp is designed for that specific sub and will limit power before it starts to do bad things. AVR manufacturers do not have the luxury of knowing which speakers will be connected to it, so it is up to you to listen for clipping distortion if the amp is being pushed too hard. If this is what happened, you were likely not real happy with the quality of the sound before the tweeters quit working. I suspect that the difference in the sound between the 82ii and the 280 is much more slight than you are thinking because you were hearing the 82's with clipping and the 280's without.
If it was your AVR clipping, then Klipsch was right, you need a more powerful amp. On theother hand, there is something to be said for having tweeters that blow before your ears (and your Denon will drive the Klipsch loud enough to lose your hearing on its own).
One thing you might consider is getting a pair of active speakers. I don't know if Crutchfield has any. These speakers are fed line-level input (essentially RCA) which passes through the crossover, then goes to amps exclusive to each driver. Like a sub (and assuming a quality manufacturer), the amps are designed specifically for the speaker. I was pushing my Focal pro-audio active monitors to their limit and they shut off (about 4 seconds between the right and the left shutting off). I turned them off, gave them about 10 minutes (in case they needed to cool down) and they were as good as new!
Subs can get away with limiting the output without interrupting the music because our ears are not so sensitive to low frequencies, so your sub may reach its limit and you might not notice!