Wife to the mental hospital

Warpdrv

Warpdrv

Audioholic Ninja
Our hearts go out to you....

Very difficult situation and also very difficult for anyone to give advice to you, who are not in your situation....

So many things to worry about, but most importantly - your children....

I wish you the best in coping with the extreme personality changes your wife is exhibiting.... Ive been close with what your dealing with here, but at least one thing is for certain - she acted this way in the eyes of the police and it will be well documented. If thoughts go toward your seperating from her and you obtaining full custody - it may full well be the best thing that ever happend, albeit incredibly difficult - your kids will know who stepped up to the plate and will never forget.....

Good luck and you will obviously be there to do the right thing, I know in the tone of your conversations here.... you are a stand up guy with alot of character and charisma !!! Stand Tall and all will be well.... :) It'll take some time - I thought it would be a lifetime, but it went by in the blink of an eye..... Don't waste a single moment of the great times to come...
 
TLS Guy

TLS Guy

Seriously, I have no life.
Jamie I have sent you a PM.

I think general messages of support are what is appropriate in these forums. We should steer clear of most of the details except in PMs
 
C

Chu Gai

Audioholic Samurai
My sister-in-law divorced a few years back. As luck would have it she also developed another medical issue to add to things like moderate cholesterol elevation, mild diabetic as well as depression over the divorce. I don't recall what it is at the moment. While one can sort of wrap their head the concept of divorce, this one was also mitigated by the discovery that not only had my brother-in-law fathered another child a number of years back but was also boning a younger woman. Now, my BIL was also in the Air Force Reserves. That requires scheduled monthly weekends away from home as well as an extended time away once a year. My son & I used to always joke with each other that we can be sure Uncle R. won't be there for family get togethers (we had lots when all the kids were younger) and instead will be off to the reserves. Turned out that part of the discovery was that a lot of the time, there wasn't any Reserve scheduled. He would use that as an excuse to shack up with a variety of women.

So, she took a variety of pills to help her deal with her medical issues both physical and mental. But pills can have interactions that affect both and that requires some balancing and even alternate medications. Eventually, she had the right mix if you will. This is not necessarily an easy process when you've got a couple of different doctors, specialists, who don't communicate well with each other and may be ignorant of certain drug interactions.

Well she got better and then since she was no longer feeling depressed, she decided on her own to stop taking the medications that treated it. While this didn't make her violent, she became delusional. She'd become obsessed with bugs and dust claiming her house was overrun. Exterminators were called in but found nothing. She would also arbitrarily stop taking some of the other medications. Then maybe restart certain ones. Her body became totally unbalanced and she began to lose weight precipitously. It affected her ability to work as a schoolteacher. Fortunately, summer was coming and school would be out.

I took a couple of weeks off and my wife drove her sister to our home where she stayed. This was so that I could monitor her pill taking and supervise doctor visits and hospital tests. Gradually she got better and this time substantially so probably because now there was greater doctor-doctor communication and being the prick that I am, I was not intimidated by their medical degrees. It's been over a year now and she's been great. No more worries about bugs. She put weight back on and is looking to teach a course part time at a college for non-english speaking people. She was over this past Thanksgiving, along with both of her adult children, and even joked about the bugs and dust thing!

I say all this Jaimie to let you know that your situation is not unique and more folks than you may know also have their lives affected. My gut take is that it requires more than one person - you - to help see this kind of thing through. IMO, having the benefit of family (her children, sisters, etc.) is pretty beneficial in seeing these sort of matters through. So is having both a healthy respect as well as certain amount of contempt for the medical profession. There's a lot of doctors just going through the ropes and you've got to beat on them sometimes to get them to actually work together rather than being superficial. Best of luck to you.
 
R

rnatalli

Audioholic Ninja
It's always terrible to read things like this. I hope your wife gets the help she needs, but your children are your top priority. Keep them safe.
 
GO-NAD!

GO-NAD!

Audioholic Spartan
That's pretty rotten Dude.:( The fact that you make your living on the road really complicates matters as well. All I can say is that you have my best wishes that this comes to a tolerable conclusion for all concerned.
 
G

gholt

Full Audioholic
Mental health issues can comsume a family. Make sure you are getting enough time with the kids to protect and keep them safe.
 
Jamie, I know you are on the road a whole lot - is there any way to keep yourself home for a bit and work through this? Family is so important and it may take some serious sacrifice on your part in order to do the most you can for your family. Sounds like some really tough choices are coming, but this is a real opportunity for you as well to know that you did everything in your power to make it work.

Meanwhile I'll pray for you, your wife and your kids.
 
GranteedEV

GranteedEV

Audioholic Ninja
I really hope you and your family can work it out and get over this hump. The human mind is such a complex and fragile thing. I know i've had two friends go through clinical depression, and an aunt go through far more serious problems similar to you wife, and from that I've learned that these things can be overcome without breaking ties, but it takes love and patience(i think it took like 3+ years before things really settled down in their household). Whatever happens, I wish you and yours all the best.
 
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ParadigmDawg

ParadigmDawg

Audioholic Overlord
Sorry to hear about this buddy.

Isn't that why you got a dog? (lol)
 
M

Midwesthonky

Audioholic General
I'm sorry to hear about the problems you and your family are facing. It's not an easy problem for sure and it is taking a toll on you and the kids. Recognize that fact. I'm no therapist but you may want to take time with your kids to just have fun and smile even if it's just a silly whipped cream fight. Messy, but can help everyone escape life a for awhile.

I was a kid of divorce and I know I still carry the "scars" over 30 years later. Not saying you have to go down that path, but even this situation will impact your kids. Recognize that and do what you can to help them overcome it. Also, don't talk negative about your wife in front of your kids (I mean along the lines of "that deranged, no good...). The kids will carry those words with them. Best take the high road and be there for the kids.

Best wishes to you.
 
lsiberian

lsiberian

Audioholic Overlord
The fact you've stuck with her this long tells me that you are a very loyal man. I pray you continue to have the strength to cope and keep the kids safe. Do what you need to do. Let me know if I can do anything to help you.

This really sucks, but you are definitely showing your kids the way a real man behaves. Keep it up. You are a smart guy and I know you'll work through this.
 
Nemo128

Nemo128

Audioholic Field Marshall
Sorry to hear about your situation Jaime. You know you've got good people here for ya.

Can you try to have a sit down between the two of you and an appropriate medical professional? Maybe in a clear state she needs to be convinced of the severity of the situation. After all, you are her family, her husband and children. Maybe in a clear state of mind, even if it means medicated, she can force herself to maintain the proper treatment and attention to her problem that you all deserve.

We're here bud, vent all ya want. :)
 
M

mudrummer99

Senior Audioholic
I am very sorry to hear this! Mental illness is tough, so very tough, especially when you are living with it in your household. I can definitely relate, both my mom and brother are bi-polar, not on meds, and when reality checks out, I don't even know what to do/think. Good luck with everything, I'm sure things will work out for the best, one way or another.
 
Guiria

Guiria

Senior Audioholic
Thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope all of you get the support you need to keep pressing forward with your heads up.
 
J

jamie2112

Banned
She is home,I guess we will see what happens.Thanks to all you for your support and now I am really going to need it! :eek:
 
lsiberian

lsiberian

Audioholic Overlord
She is home,I guess we will see what happens.Thanks to all you for your support and now I am really going to need it! :eek:
Do you guys have a safe room or something in case she loses it? Maybe some kind of plan to get away. Just a thought I'm sure you got it covered.
 
STRONGBADF1

STRONGBADF1

Audioholic Spartan
She is home,I guess we will see what happens.Thanks to all you for your support and now I am really going to need it! :eek:
Thanks for the update, Jamie. Still sending good vibes your families way!
 
gmichael

gmichael

Audioholic Spartan
Thanks I am going to lock her in the closet,,,,,,,:eek::eek: :D
Did you pad the inside of it so that she doesn't hurt herself?
BTW, I hope it's her closet. You wouldn't want her ripping your favorite shirts into rags.
 

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