Turkey Of The Year Award

johndoe

johndoe

Audioholic
I think I'll become a certified dowser just to see who the stupid people that buy this crap are!

Since this is not an audio product... my vote still goes for the wall plates.
 
johnb554

johnb554

Audioholic
Damn you, Santa, why didn't you bring me one of these?

http://www.musicdirect.com/products/detail.asp?sku=AFURDEMAG





:p
Since when can vinyl be magnetized. this must be some new magical technology. hahaha

You guys should take a look at http://www.trtheaterresearch.com/ for the best in white van speakers.

My friend bought some, i had to swear at him for it. Then we took them apart to see how crappy they were. Turns out the cabinets are made from crappy particle board, the drivers are made of paper, the crossover is a piece of **** and they put metal weights in the cabinets to make them seem like they have nice heavy magnets on the drivers.

John
 
yettitheman

yettitheman

Audioholic General
Since when can vinyl be magnetized. this must be some new magical technology. hahaha
John
Didn't you know??? It helps the needle stick better to the record during playback without the added pressure normally associated with adjusting the weight at the back of the arm! :D :D BRILLIANT!!!! :D:D:D:D
 
1

10010011

Senior Audioholic
New from the makers of popular "audiophile" products suck as the Clever Little Clock, Intelligent Chips, and Smart Pebbles.

I bring you: MACHINA DYNAMICA's Teleportation Tweak

MACHINA DYNAMICA's Teleportation Tweak

Long-Distance Audio System Upgrade

Copyright © 2007 ... Geoff Kait, Machina Dynamica

The Teleportation Tweak is the extraordinary new product from Machina Dynamica. The Teleportation Tweak is an advanced communications technique discovered and developed by Machina Dynamica for upgrading audio systems remotely, even over very long distances. The Teleportation Tweak is performed during a phone call to Machina Dynamica; the tweak itself takes about 30 seconds. The call can be made via landline phone or cell phone.

Remarkably, the Teleportation Tweak is independent of distance and signal transmission medium, thus will work anywhere in the world. The "tapping signals" transmitted over the phone will not attenuate even over great distances. So far, the Teleportation Tweak has been successfully demonstrated for distances up to 4000 miles (6500 km). While not absolutely necessary, the customer's audio system can be warmed up prior to the phone call if A/B testing the Teleportation Tweak is desired.

The effects of the Teleportation Tweak are instantaneous and the improvement to the sound will be audible immediately. The Teleportation Tweak excels in layering, texture, inner detail, air and that you-are-there presence of real music. Bonus: The picture quality of any video system will also be improved! The Teleportation Tweak works over landline phone or cell phone. Customer should pay via Paypal or check/MO prior to calling Machina Dynamica. Machina Dynamica's Teleportation Tweak $60.
 
stratman

stratman

Audioholic Ninja
This has got to be the winner! In October I'll set up the poll to start the voting.
 
avaserfi

avaserfi

Audioholic Ninja
Came across this thing searching for some sonus fabers, not sure if any of you have seen this. Actually thought it was some kind of tie rack, here's the link:
http://www.highendpalace.com/HEP Tweaks.htm

man, these guys are shameless

That is clearly the greatest diffuser ever designed because it accounts for your speakers Feng Shue! Without them your speakers will get depressed and accentuate lows while being to melancholy to play highs. If you do not get these quickly enough there is a fair likelihood that your speakers tweeter will shrivel and die or well in the most horrible case your speaker might just not be able to take it anymore and blow a woofer.
 
johnb554

johnb554

Audioholic
That is clearly the greatest diffuser ever designed because it accounts for your speakers Feng Shue! Without them your speakers will get depressed and accentuate lows while being to melancholy to play highs. If you do not get these quickly enough there is a fair likelihood that your speakers tweeter will shrivel and die or well in the most horrible case your speaker might just not be able to take it anymore and blow a woofer.
OH MY GOSH!! THATS HORRIBLE.

Teaches me a good lesson, maybe if i bought one of those ahead of time, i wouldnt have blown the tweeter in that JBL.

What a shame.
 
avaserfi

avaserfi

Audioholic Ninja
Can we add any speaker smaller then my palm to the mix? I think that should all be in the Turkey catagory I am mainly thinking of blose but I know there are others.
 
Rickster71

Rickster71

Audioholic Spartan
Didn't you know??? It helps the needle stick better to the record during playback without the added pressure normally associated with adjusting the weight at the back of the arm! :D :D BRILLIANT!!!! :D:D:D:D

That a great idea! Now I won't have to tape two quarters to the arm!
Their not all turkeys.:D
 
J

jvm051

Audioholic Intern
Thought I had read somewhere that somebody that installed the noise harvester, actually had noise comming from it. WTF...
 
avaserfi

avaserfi

Audioholic Ninja
Thought I had read somewhere that somebody that installed the noise harvester, actually had noise comming from it. WTF...
How else are you going to lure all the bad noise without getting its attention! Come on people these tweaks are designed very well with every bit of detail perfectly arranged!:rolleyes:
 
M

markw

Audioholic Overlord
Well, duh! It's only a tiny thing.

Thought I had read somewhere that somebody that installed the noise harvester, actually had noise comming from it. WTF...
After it's harvested more than it can fit inside, it's gotta be emptied. Just like with many delicate MC cartridges, this cannot be performed by the user and you must send it back to the factory. A slight charge applies. They recommend this be done monthly. Call them for more info. :D

(the sub line was a joke, son. Actually, this whole post was.)
 
Last edited:
johnb554

johnb554

Audioholic
Or what about this.

The PS AUDIO - AC - PLUS SC AC CORD
http://www.musicdirect.com/products/detail.asp?sku=APSSCPLUS1%2E0M

After years of research and design, PS Audio has discovered the perfect blend of high and low gauge conductors to give your components a truly neutral power cable. Only now, with PS Power SC technology, you get fluid mids, and delicate highs to go with truly authoritative bass. And to top it all off, you end up with an absolute reference-level power cable that you can actually bend!

ANd the best part. it ONLY costs 270 dollars..

haha...yeah right.....
 
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