Jokes... Heard any good ones lately?

[Buckeyefan 1]

Here's a great one from MacManNM.

A man, his wife, and mother-in-law went on vacation to Jerusalem . While
they were there the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker told them,
"You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here
in the Holy Land for $150.

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped
home. The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you
would spend only $150.

The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three
days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

[brian32672]

Thats pretty funny Buck. LOL

I'm sure you keep up with Mulester's long running thread HERE Plenty of funnies there.

[Sheep]

Yeah, Mules got a great one near the end, and middle, and beginning.....


SheepStar

[Mudcat]

I don't want this thread to turn into another round of frog er French bashing. I've got plenty of friends over there in LaHarve and Paris, and we all speak excellent German.

[WHALER]

My ex-wife was a terrible cook. At our house, we prayed after we ate.

[footman]

A minister , a priest and a rabbi were discussing when life begins. The minister states " life begins at conception". The priest states " life begins at birth". The rabbi states " life begins after your dog dies and your last child goes off to college".

[1.21Gigawatts!!]

(Not trying to insult to anyone...I'm from Alabama)
THE HILLBILLY VASECTOMY

After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough as
they could not afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin
didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that
could fix the problem but that it was expensive.

"A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Alabama) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10"

The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the
shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my
ear is going to help me."

"Trust me," said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held
the can up to his ear and began to count...
"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"
At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and
resumed counting on his other hand.

[Rock&Roll Ninja]

Did you hear the one about the blonde that went to church?

She heard there was a guy who was hung like this. (Hold your arms apart like you're telling the 'big fish' story).

[highfihoney]

a pirate walk's into a bar with a steering wheel hanging out of his zipper & order's a whiskey.

the bartender hand's the pirate his drink but he cant stop wondering what's up with the steering wheel hanging out of the pirate's zipper so he ask's him,hey buddy! what's the deal with the steering wheel hanging out of your pant's,the pirate replied...............................arrrrrrrr it drive's me nut's!:

[Sheep]

A guy walks into a bar, ouch.

SheepStar