Jokes... Heard any good ones lately?

[psbfan9]

Interesting, fun with irony.
College Liberal meme | quickmeme

I have to say, as the AH forum token liberal, that was pretty funny.

[Rickster71]

A Small White Dot

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out something
exciting and relate it to the class the next day.
When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy the teacher called on walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down.
Puzzled, the teacher asked him what it was.
'It's a period,' he replied.
'I can see that,' said the teacher, 'but what is so exciting about a period?
'Darned if I know,' he said, 'but this morning my sister was missing one, my mom fainted, my dad had a heart attack, and the boy next door joined the Navy.'

[BoredSysAdmin]

I lol'd:

[BoredSysAdmin]

How about some bad puns?

Why does old cellphone wears glasses??


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Become he lost his contacts

http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/20...1564ba9161.jpg

[Alex2507]

I was walking down the street with my wife earlier when she accused me of being ashamed to be seen with her.

"That's total bullsh!t" I replied.

By text, from across the road.

[its phillip]

lame pun coon is great imo

[BoredSysAdmin]

A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?"

A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?"

Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?"

The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him."
"Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"

[Rickster71]

A cop just knocked at my door and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes.
My dogs don't even own bikes.

[haraldo]

aAbout an early (1960's) AI experiment in language translation. An English-Russian translation program was written. They tested it by first translating from English to Russian, and then input the Russian, to compare the result with the original. When they tried "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak", they got back "The vodka is good, but the meat is rotten"

[Tarub]

Four men in a prison cell.....A psycho, a rapist, a murderer and a gay man.

The murderer says... if there was a cat in here I'd screw that thing till it died.

The rapist says...yeah i would tie it up and screw it while it cried and begged me to stop.

The psycho replies.... I would screw that **** so hard and squirt all over its face.

The gay man stood lonely in the corner with a creepy smile on his face and replies...."MEOW"