Jokes... Heard any good ones lately?

[Sheep]

Buckle; Pure Awesome.

SheepStar

[majorloser]

.....Guys, I apologize for the joke I just deleted....Brian pointed out to me it was kinda' rough....sorry......

It just needed a little work on the punch line. It was funny, though.

[majorloser]

Buckle-meister: Understanding Engineers

That little bit of wisdom was just spread throughout my office and to my consultants.

THANKS

[Buckle-meister]

That little bit of wisdom was just spread throughout my office and to my consultants.

Yeah, even the boss got that forwarded to him.

[mulester7]

It just needed a little work on the punch line. It was funny, though.

.....Major, I really don't think the punch-line could have been worded any better, but....anyhow, I offer a replacement.....



.....the cowboy got paid on Friday, and immediately rode into town and proceeded to get thoroughly wiped-out drunk, and I mean DRUNK....a couple of his buddies decided to play a trick on him.....they snuck outside, turned his horse around backwards, then snuck back inside the saloon to join the hapless cowboy for a few more rounds.....

.....the next morning, when the alarm clock and a glass of cold water in the face failed to have the slightest effect, the cowboy's wife started shaking him by the shoulders and SCREAMING, "TEX, GET UP, YOU HAVE TO HIT THE TRAIL, AND YOU'VE GOT WORK TO DO".....

....."can't," mumbled Tex, "too beat, too tired, can't even lift my head".....

....."GET UP!", SHE SCREAMED IN HIS EAR, "I'VE SEEN YOU THIS HUNG OVER A THOUSAND TIMES".....

....."but last night was different," said Tex, "some sorry SOB cut off my horse's head, and I had to pull him all the way home with my fingers in his windpipe".....

[MacManNM]

WHY PARENTS DRINK


The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an

urgent problem with one of the main computers, dialed the employee's

home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.


"Hello."

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.


"Yes," whispered the small voice.


"May I talk with him?"


The child whispered, "No."


Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your

Mommy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with her?"


Again the small voice whispered, "No."


Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss

asked, "Is anybody else there?"


"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss

asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"


"No, he's busy", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered

answer.


Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a

helicopter through the earpiece on the phone the boss asked, "What is
that noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.


"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now truly alarmed.


In an awed, whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just

landed the hello-copper."


Alarmed, concerned, and even more then just a little frustrated the

boss asked, "What are they searching for?"


Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle:



"ME."

[MacManNM]

I am a victim of the latest scam which is happening in shopping mall parking lots.

Here is how the scam works:

Two scantily clad, very hot young women come to your car as you are parking.
While one starts wiping your windshield with a rag, the other comes to your
window and bends over so far her breasts just about fall out of her top into
your face. While you're distracted with the breasts in your face, the other
one lets herself into the backseat. Then they both start begging you for a
ride home. Be very wary, because as soon as you start driving them home, one
of them will take off her shirt and start rubbing her ample breasts all over you,
while the other climbs over the seat, unzips your pants and starts doing things to you, that although are very pleasurable, are illegal in some states.

This is when they steal your wallet!

I was robbed last Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, but I couldn't find them on Saturday or Sunday, so I don't know where they are. They could be in a mall near you!

[mike c]

so where do I park to get robbed?

[ragged]

What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?

DAMN!

[Sheep]

MacManNM,

You posted that "Why parents drink" joke twice..


I don't get it

SheepStar