Worst Movie Ever Made?

[nelson57]

Want to see a really bad movie? Watch " Alone In The Dark"

 

[Rock&Roll Ninja]

I actually just watched Alone in the Dark. And truthfully, it is far better that Boll's last film House of the Dead. Especially if you use my 5-step grade system.

1. Total crap
2. Bad
3. Average
4. Good
5. Excellant.

Most movies fall in the 2-5/'Bad through Good' range. Catwoman was all-round bad (2), In Good Company was average (3), and Interview with the Vampire was good (4). The movie-making extremes "Awesome & Awful" god beyond the call of mearly bad or good filmmaking. Excellant movies are technically flawless, impressively acted, original, though provoking. A Total crap movie on the other hand is made with improper or poor techniques, have unskilled acting, are usually plageristic of someone elses work, and generally make the viewer angry (that the film is so bad).

But rarity is the key. If every movie is total crap or awesome, then total crap and awesomeness must be changed. Because there must always be a film "elite", the bar must be raised/lowered accordingly. (This is how Freddy Got Fingered doesn't make the list).

House of the Dead remains my personal criteria for Godawful movie and its crimes against film are many:

*Film intercut with videogame footage. At first its used as a change-over device, but by halfway through the film it seems to be inserted randomly (including in the middle of shots and interupting dialogue).
*Cameraman unable to keep distance from the actors. Their breathing fogs the lens on a few occassions.
*Bizarre "Student Art Film" moment: Camera spins around certain characters who die, and when certain characters find guns.

There are several more reasons, but thats a subject for another thread. To sum-up my point: When compared to HOTD, AITD is merely a bad movie.

 

[Mudcat]

Also if you notice us Canucks using the letter U in a lot of our words and you think we're not spelling correctly it's because that's how it's spelled up here. I try to drop the extra U but sometimes it slips past.

I thought it was "eh" at the end of each and every sentence/phrase/word.

I tried watching Run Lola Run in English...and it made my ears bleed. The German was much better.

concurr, although I didn't listen much, I was too busy watching Lola (Janovich or whatever her name is) and her bright red hair. Yup, that's what I was seeing.

 

[Takeereasy]

I actually couldn't wait to get online and slam Alone in the Dark, but Ninja is right, House of the dead still wins the sucks the big one award for bad. I however am going to start a new thread inspired by Alone in the Dark. I would also like to propose an alterative title "Alone in the Theater".

 

[Mudcat]

I would also like to propose an alterative title "Alone in the Theater".

Alone like Paul Reubens (Pee Wee Herman), or really alone as in the only living person?

 

[Takeereasy]

You'd have to be in the first category in order justify still being in the theater when the end credits roled.

I love movies. I love cheesy movies. I really love Cheesy horror movies, but what I would love most of all is to get just one kick at the nuts of the guy who greenlighted this piece of garbage.

 

[Rock&Roll Ninja]

Even if you had no sense of humor and took The Lost Skeleton of Cadavera seriosuly, AITD is a bad movie.

 

[nelson57]

I think House of The Dead was what it intended to be, a movie that made fun of itself based on the video game, it was just for fun, whereas Alone in The Dark seemed to try to pass itself as a legitimate sci-fi-horror-action flick, and was just downright bad. I was so disappointed in Christian Slater and Stephen Dorff both of whom I though were pretty decent actors for even accepting those roles.

I couldn't help thinking these guys must really be desparate, or times must be really hard for if they had to stoop to a project like this. Was this the worst ever made I don't know, but it sure ranks as one of the worst I've ever seen. I'd rather watch "They" again,which was pretty bad itself than to sit through this again. I didn't even log it in to my DVD Profile, I would be to ashamed.

 

[Peppy]

I love cheesy Horror movie, it's just like to see a comedy, it's just fun, as long to the movie do take itself seriously. There is 2 more to put in the "Bad List " Legaly Blonde 1 & 2 ! Must been produce, finance and wrriten by a Blonde ! Just kidding !

Hey if you take all the money it cost to produce these class "F" movie I bet the could made few great one. Hard to belive that the "Bad" list would be that long !!!

 

[basementtheater]

Did we all forget about Deep Blue Sea? The special effects in that movie were absolutly terrible. It made jaws's (a movie made 20 or so years earlier) special effects look spectacular. Ha Ha!!! Fun post.

 

[Earfull]

"I love Huckabees". A vomitous mass if I ever saw one.

 

[Hans]

Hum, nobody mentionned these:

When i think bad I think:

Fair Game: Cindy Crawford, and one of the equally no good Baldwins. (yeah, yeah i know we see her topless, but the movie just plain sucks.)

Blair Witch project 2 Yawn. I can't believe they made a sequel to the first one (who was not bad a t all, IMO)

The Crow 2: City of angels Such a deception after the excellent, excellent first movie....

just my two cents

Cheers!

H.

 

[Shadow_Ferret]

I just rented Blood Trail. Awful. Must not even had a Continuity Editor. Scenes kept changing from day to night willy-nilly. I should have known I was in trouble when the opening credits were playing they had an "Native American" doing what essentially was a Japanese Kabuki-like dance.

 

[Taifun]

I'm suprised not to see Van Helsing on the list! Actually, when my family and friends watched this, I did commentary with "What movie was this stolen from" which actually made the film entertaining!

-G

 

[JiveMiguel]

My two cents

Ok, based on the IMDB list of the 100 worst movies, the worst movie ever made was 'Manos, the hands of fate'. I've actually seen this movie a few times when it was screened on Mystery Science Theatre 3000. I love those ribald robots!

Here's the IMDB worst 100 list:
http://www.imdb.com/chart/bottom

Also, since this thread started went on a tangent about beautiful actresses, I've really acquired something for Carrie-Anne Moss from the Matrix series. Those are great movies anyway (especially with a great sound system), and she's just so hot in that tight leather and all that kicking and jumping and flying and shooting and... ok, I'll stop

 

[Shadow_Ferret]

I'm suprised not to see Van Helsing on the list! Actually, when my family and friends watched this, I did commentary with "What movie was this stolen from" which actually made the film entertaining!

-G

I loved that movie! Even own the collector's set that comes with Frankenstein, Dracula, and the Werewolf.

Any movie with kate Beckinsale in it cant' be listed in the "worst" category.

 

[dm_4u]

I'm sorry for all you Oscar lovers...but Chariots of Fire sucked big time...

 

[Shadow_Ferret]

Not so much that it sucked. It was just boring as hell. With awful music.

 

[dillweed]

Blair Witch project 2 Yawn. I can't believe they made a sequel to the first one (who was not bad a t all, IMO) H.[/QUOTE]

Oh yes. Beyond bad. I can't believe I actually sat through that crap.

 

[DAMAC]

You have the add THE BEACH with Leo Dicaprio in it. I took my wife to see it when we were dating. The worst part is how it starts out as an average crappy movie, so you stay in the theatre for 30-40 minutes. Then, it does totally retarded (you actually see Leo imagining himself in a video games as he goes a little insane).

I also hated DREAMCATCHER. I ready the book (it was great). And that made the movie even worse.