Irascible Old Man Strikes Again

[Tomorrow]

It's Friday...time for another installment of Tomorrow's Grump. Last week I whined about the impenetrability of CD and DVD wrappers.

Well, this week it's about another kind of rapper. How in the world do these 'gangstahs', with lots of rhythm and crotch grabbing skills, but can't carry a note, manage to make millions off of (c)rap 'music'??!! Who buys this tripe? Surely no one belonging to Audioholics! You're all smarter than to fall for that negligible excuse for music. You are, aren't you?

Late last night, after midnight while I'm about to settle into my finest snore, I was awakened by some teen-boy cruising the neighborhood in his ride, a Honda that cost more to trick out than my house cost. This little Honda, perhaps 18 feet long, somehow managed to incorporate ten 12" subwoofers inside. (At least I think they were inside.) If I could just afford to buy his car and park it in my livingroom, I could sell both my Hsu's...no problem.

Anyway, this sumb!tch had to be deaf, as the Fiddycent (whatever) "music" was loud enough to penetrate his car, my garage, my work room (that would be the bathroom for you younger peeps), my pantry, and my bedroom walls and dare still be louder than my snoring. (Boy, was my wife perturbed. You married guys know what I'm talking about. You DO NOT want a perturbed wife at 1:00 a.m.)

Now this deaf teen-boy was driving just fast enough that I was able to awaken from my own roars, realize the source of the audio onslought, assess the potential for explosion by the missus, run to the front door...naked as the day I was born (not a pretty sight, but my way of getting even), throw open the door and see the slowly vanishing black Honda/SubwooferArray crawling over the hill and onto the next block of ex-sleepers/snorers.

A half-hour later, as I again drifted off to dream things only old men dream about, I was horrified by the thought...."DOES THIS GUY VOTE?!" Is it possible he represents America's future??!! Holy Smokes.

People, we're all in trouble. I'd move to Canada, except Sheepstar is there. Maybe Costa Rica......

EDIT: Idea for the Pentagon...Collect all the rap cds in the U.S. and put them on a B-2 bomber and drop them on North Korea. That'll take care of those dudes!

 

[highfihoney]

I agree with 99% of your rant except where you loosely call rap"music",there is nothing musical about that garbage,these mutts as a group have no musical ability to even plan an instrument or sing,i can play the guitar better than 50 cent peice can even walk upright & thats not saying much.

The thing about these ultra loud car systems is that if they are done right they dont need to exibit the trunk lid rattling BOOM that most of these mutts go around subjecting everybody else too,im getting close to the final stages of an extremely high spl system in a mustang i own where so far ive measured db levels over 137 db & even with levels that high there is very little boom outside the car & can barely be heard inside my home from my driveway 3 ft away from my door,from the street nothing can be heard.

The way these morons go around bomming everybody out of their shoes shows alot about how little respect these a holes have for other people,if i was a cop & i saw some young big pants wearin gangster wannabe crusin a residental neighborhood with his trunk rattling waking up all the working people i dont think i could control the urge to use my stun gun on his nad's till the battery was dead.

 

[Buckle-meister]

Music isn't loud. People play music loud. Why vent against the music when clearly it's the person at fault?

 

[majorloser]

Admit it.........you guys are getting old

You're starting to sound like the old people when we were kids.

 

[highfihoney]

Admit it.........you guys are getting old

Getting old! ive been buying BEN GAY by the case load for 10 years now

 

[MDS]

Ah, yes...cRAP 'music'. Hate it with a passion.

When disco/electronica/funk type music of the late '70s and '80s starting morphing into rap it wasn't so bad. They had a catchy beat and interesting rhymes. Like Rapper's Delight by Sugarhill Gang and even things like Bust A Move, Funky Cold Medina, etc. But then the 'gangstas' took up the genre and it turned to sh!t in no time.

Now all the 'music' is the same old crap with the same old story - glorifying shooting cops, pimpin' 'hos, 'bustin' a cap in someone's ***', blah blah blah. They actually seem to think that is behavior that should be praised. To top it off, the 'artists' creating that junk are in general totally illiterate - witness 'Fiddy Cent'. Real role models for our youth.

What REALLY bothers me though is the number of rap artists that appropriate well-known portions of classic rock songs and add them to their garbage. I've returned to skating (a childhood love) and even on Adult Night they play some of that crap (because 'adult' means 18 and over). The other day I heard the violin part of ELO - Evil Woman and I first thought wow, ELO. Not exactly skating music but a great song nonetheless. The dream was quickly dashed when it turned into some stupid rap song. The over-30 and above crowd groans when they hear that. I've even heard a rap-bastardized version of Video Killed the Radio Star.

Enough already...leave the classic rock alone!

 

[Tomorrow]

FIVE stars ***** for hifihoney and MDS and their bonus rants!! What galls is that people actually BUY this crappola. And the artists are getting Grammy's and R&R Hall of Fame inductions.

Scary man. Scary.

Oh, hey Majorloser...you ain't no spring chickenfeather, either. (Slap him upside the head, Loserwife! )

 

[stratman]

Sad to say, the kids that buy into that crap are suburban kids that thanks to the hype machine think it's cool. Nothing's more pathetic than somebody trying to be something they're not. Ray Charles said it best: "that's not music(cRap), you don't have the discipline to learn how to sing or play an intstrument (paraphrased)", marketing of crap through the media does wonders. Mtv has done more harm to music than any other venue I know.

 

[JKL1960]

Musical genres.

I have now reduced all music to two genres. Music I like and music I don't like. There is some rap that I like, there is some heavy metal that I don't like. I find I prefer rap to country but recognise that there are many extremely talented country music artists. I wouldn't walk across the street to see Shania Twain but I understand that her concerts are great. "One man's trash is another man's art." "There is no accounting for taste."

I'm 47 sometime this year and I find I still have an appetite for new music. I frequently hear something I listened to as a teen and wonder what I heard in it. Uriah Heep comes to mind. I had lots of Uriah Heep albums as a teen now I can't wait to shut it off when I hear it. Yet there are many other bands I still listen to from that era.

Running your car stereo really loud at night in a suburban neighborhood is just plain rude regardless of what music you are listening too. I was sitting in a parking lot waiting for my daughter and had Bad to the Bone playing at full volume and some guy getting into the car next to me started mocking me by bobbing his head and laughing at me. I wanted to ask him if he likes music. My car stereo isn't loud but I do have a 10" sub and you can certainly hear it outside the car. It has Alpine Type X speakers and is very sweet sounding but not loud. Type X tweeters are excellent.

I'm pretty erratic musically. One minute I could be listening to Tool and the next Buddy Rich and the next Black Eyed Peas. I consider Frank Zappa to be a musical genius but I know that many people just hear noise and don't get it at all.

I don't want to be a grump but I am getting old and that way sometimes.

 

[highfihoney]

I consider Frank Zappa to be a musical genius but I know that many people just hear noise and don't get it at all.

I have got to be one of the biggest FZ fan's on the planet,i have his entire catalog plus all the old masters collections on vinyl,all the you cant do that on stage anymore concerts in the rhodie collectors set,all the beat the boots collection & countless bootleg recordings under dozens of different labels,saw FZ live twice & just went & saw DWEEZIL with napolean murphy brock,terry bozio,steve via & some new to the scene musicians that blew my socks off.

Its a shame that more people cant get past all the silly stuff that frank was most known for like dont eat the yellow snow & valley girl,on top of being one of the great orchestral composers of our time he was godzilla on that gibson sg he played.

Anybody who has ever tried to learn to play or knows how to play any instrument cant deny the genius that was FZ.

 

[sploo]

Here in England they're usually referred to as 'Chavs' - ignorant t*ssers that think nothing gains more respect than cruising round a local housing estate in a 15 year old sh!theap, decked out with oversized alloys, 'bad boy' sub, and the obligatory 'small penis' exhaust (usually an empty tin of baked beans, jubilee clipped to the end of the stock pipe, to make the one-point-f**kall litre engine sound loud).

Learn more (I particularly recommend the 'Chav Culture' page): http://www.chavscum.co.uk/index.php

 

[Buckle-meister]

What galls is that people actually BUY this crappola.

Why is it galling? It's no skin off your nose. It's their money isn't it?

Scary man. Scary.

Yes, it is.

 

[Seth=L]

I don't like rap for a couple of reasons. The biggest thing is the vanity of it. Vanity, you aren't cool unless you have huge bling bling, an Escalade, and your ego is as big as the southern sky. I don't view today's rap as art, I view it as cheap crap. I also don't like rap because it sucks.

 

[stratman]

Perhaps the answer lies in the middle. Rap, instead of being classified strictly as music should be considered poetry with a musical(?) background. Remember when Spud (?) Daddy (I can't recall all the monikers) used Jimmy Page on one of his "songs", what the hell was Page thinking? I know, old rock guys try to feel relevant by paying homage to what's "in", Ray Charles was more dignified, he called it as he "saw" it.

Does anybody remember the Stones, David Bowie, Rod Stuart, KISS covering disco? Pretty shameless huh, hey but one goes where the money and the hype is right???

 

[Tomorrow]

Why is it galling? It's no skin off your nose. It's their money isn't it?

I know you can figure this out, Robbie. But to ease the burden...it's galling because people value flash over substance. No, it's not a problem that the talentless make money off their fans. It's galling that they have fans that value them in the first place. It speaks of a culture of fruitcakery. (Sounds like a UK term, doesn't it?!)

 

[sploo]

...The biggest thing is the vanity of it...

Yup. I don't actually dislike rap music, but it does strike me how much of the culture revolves around spending lots of money, to end up looking really cheap.

It's even funnier when some little scrote rolls round the housing estate in his fake jewelry, thinking he's some bad-*ss gangsta... when he's more likely to be a dumb middle-class white boy called Kevin.

A friend of mine was a teacher, and had to explain to some of the young guys she taught (who used to go round the school terrorising other kids) that Ali G was a spoof, and that the point was that he wasn't laughing with them, he was laughing at them.

 

[highfihoney]

I also don't like rap because it sucks.

This is the only reason needed to hate rap,any other reason is just icing on the cake.

What gets me the most is when you see all the fat girls rappin & dancin along with the beat,yeah baby! Its a he!! of a sight to see Fatty Mc-butter Pants singin & dancin along at 100mph to 50 cent.

Even disco had more than 10 different back beats,the best that all the rap schmoe's can come up with is that same droning & mind numbing boom boom boom,its endless,i'd like to take a big dump on a pile of fifty cent cd's.

Another reason i loved zappa,anybody who thought they were gonna steal any of his licks & call it 'sampling' winds up in court quick.

 

[stratman]

I know you can figure this out, Robbie. But to ease the burden...it's galling because people value flash over substance. No, it's not a problem that the talentless make money off their fans. It's galling that they have fans that value them in the first place. It speaks of a culture of fruitcakery. (Sounds like a UK term, doesn't it?!)

Fruitcakery, hmmm. Is this found in wikipedia? (lol, it does sound brit)

You want irony? Rappers want "cred" and no hype, but rap has become the ultimate hype, no substance, pure marketing fluff. So how do rappers justify their abomination and reason for being: kill law officers, pimp "hos", deal drugs, etc., etc.

 

[stratman]

This is the only reason needed to hate rap,any other reason is just icing on the cake.

What gets me the most is when you see all the fat girls rappin & dancin along with the beat,yeah baby! Its a he!! of a sight to see Fatty Mc-butter Pants singin & dancin along at 100mph to 50 cent.

Even disco had more than 10 different back beats,the best that all the rap schmoe's can come up with is that same droning & mind numbing boom boom boom,its endless,i'd like to take a big dump on a pile of fifty cent cd's.

Another reason i loved zappa,anybody who thought they were gonna steal any of his licks & call it 'sampling' winds up in court quick.

As mindless as disco was at least these guys played their instruments, so it did take some talent and discipline. And in no defense of disco, at least they didn't want to kill , rape, pillage and so forth. And you're right disco was more diversified in rythm and beat.

 

[JKL1960]

If it wasn't for the Lincoln Navigator the Escalade would be the ugliest vehicle on earth. Makes an AMC Gremlin seem desirable.

Note to the dude in the Escalade. I'm staring at you, not out of envy, but because I want to see what type of person sits on their taste all day long.