I need a little religious guidance.
I'm sure some of you have seen the HBO show "Six Feet Under". An AVM is what killed Nate on the series.
Recently my mother has had a stroke related to an AVM. AVM stands for artery veineous malformation(or something like that). Usually in the human body high pressure arterys only connect to low pressure veins through cappilaries regulating the pressure. In an AVM a large artery and a large vein are joined in the brain allowing high pressure in the artery to get to the veins. Some people with this condition live long and happy lives with no complications related to the malformation. My mother was not so "lucky". The high pressure burst a vein in my mothers head she lost conciousness in the shower where my step dad found her. They took her to the hospital where they could not treat her. She was then air lifted to another hospital better equiped to help her. After a tense few days and some emergency surgery she has survived.
Now (5) weeks has passed and she is recovering physically very well. Unfourtunatly the surgery to remove and/or correct the malformation also removed some of her personality. She can walk and talk and do math and feed herself and still has a complete vocabulary...but. She speaks in a mono tone often with just one word answers to questions. The body that was my mom is still alive and doing reasonably well. The sparkle of her personality seems very distant.
Now as unfourtnate all that is for me and my family it's nothing new under the sun. People meet their demise in all kinds of ways all the time. If you have read this far you may have a little simpathy(or joy) for a fellow human having a bad day. As I have spoken with my co-workers, friends, dad's side of the family etc. They all say the usual condolence type things. Most of them including my dad, sister, grandmother(moms mom) are praying for my mother.
I ask myself what are they praying for? Are they praying for her recovery? Maybe they should have prayed for it not to happen. Maybe they should have prayed for better doctors or faster response.
Was it gods will that my mother had her AVM on Saturday morning when people were home instead of Tuesday when it would have been certain death? Is it gods will or the devils work that it took so long to get the care she needed? Is she blessed or punished that she is still alive but with the mind of a child? Is it gods will to test my mother? Is it gods will to test our family? Is god punishing my mother for not being a good enough person. Is the family being punished. Did I not tithe enought to keep my mother healthy? Maybe the family deserves it maybe mom deserves what happened. Maybe I am being punished for past statments in this thread.
What "mysterious ways" decide if you are the founder of Microsoft in your twenties or blow a gasket in your brain when your 47 or buy the single winning ticket to the largest lotto jackpot in U.S. history? I'm sure someone was home with the flu and someone else had their first day of work at the WTC on Sept11. I can't get my little pea brain to think life is more than just a random s-h-i-t/glory hole you manage to fall into.
Can I start a collection for Benny Hinn to lay his hands on my mother and "cure" her with the power of the Lord?
Maybe next year Santa will bring her a new brain
I'll have to make sure I'm extra nice.
Thanks for reading,
Ironlung