Favorite Chuck Norris Lines :)

[highfigh]

Chuck Norris can hear a difference when bi-wiring....

Ok, I apologize... that was a reach.

Chuch Norris can hear the difference if the speaker wires are different lengths. He can also hear when one strand is missing.

 

[Patrukas777]

"Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.

 

[Nemo128]

Chuck Norris never claps. It's not because he doesn't like anything, it's because the sonic boom created by his hands would obliterate the skulls of anyone within a 10 mile radius. It's also because he doesn't like anything. Really, what can live up to the standards of Chuck Norris?

Chuck Norris plays Russian Roulette with submachine guns.

 

[j_garcia]

Chuck Norris got in a knife fight...and the knife lost.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun.....and won.

 

[Patrukas777]

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

 

[mike c]

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

 

[Patrukas777]

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

LOL.....thats great!

 

[Patrukas777]

this is funny

go to google.com and type in "Find Chuck Norris," and then click the "I'm feeling lucky" tab.

 

[Seth=L]

Step 1: Go to www.cleverbot.com

Step 2: insert a Chuck Norris joke and press "think about it"

Step 3: ????????????

Stpe 4: Profit

Rinse, wash, repeat...

 

[j_garcia]

Step 1: Go to www.cleverbot.com

Step 2: insert a Chuck Norris joke and press "think about it"

Step 3: ????????????

Stpe 4: Profit

Rinse, wash, repeat...

Seems like it only knows two...because no matter what I put in, it just toggles between those two?

"Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays potato chip"

 

[Seth=L]

Seems like it only knows two...because no matter what I put in, it just toggles between those two?

"Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays potato chip"

That's odd, I got a lot more out of it than that. It's possible it got stuck. I recently got it stuck on asking me the same two questions over and over again. "Is there a heaven?" and "Is there a hell?" I kept answering yes, and it kept asking the questions alternately.

Jokes I just got out of cleverbot.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. (eh, I don't know)

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

 

[Tarub]

 

[j_garcia]

<object width="480" height="387"><param name="movie" value="http://www.wegame.com/static/flash/player.swf?xmlrequest=http://www.wegame.com//player/video/Super_Chuck_Norris_Bros"></param><param name="flashVars" value="xmlrequest=http://www.wegame.com/player/video/Super_Chuck_Norris_Bros&embedPlayer=true"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.wegame.com/static/flash/player.swf?xmlrequest=http://www.wegame.com/player/video/Super_Chuck_Norris_Bros&embedPlayer=true" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="387"></embed></object><div style="display: block; font-size: 11px">Learn more at the Gaming Wiki</div>

 

[majorloser]

You can download the game here:

http://sites.google.com/site/ctfdoh/downloadarea

 

[j_garcia]

Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.

(yes, digging it up because I liked that one).

*add:

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

 

[its phillip]

My favorite was always "Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried."

 

[j_garcia]

The only two certain things in life are death and taxes. If Chuck Norris worked for the IRS, they would be the same thing.

 

[JerryLove]

Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin: under his beard is another fist.

If Chuck Norris were to travel back in time and fight himself, he would win.

In the beginning there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris circle-kicked the nothing and told it to get its lazy butt to work.

 

[MUDSHARK]

Its time......... To die (invasion U.S.A.)

for Loser

 

[j_garcia]

Its time......... To die (invasion U.S.A.)

for Loser

Hahaha. Invasion USA and Octagon were just on cable in the last few weeks.