no one said life was gonna be easy but this is just ridiculous

[craig7]

my best-friend is now homeless. her mom kicked her out of the house because she hates her dad. she has a good reason though after what he has done. he would rarely let her eat because he said she looked fat. 95lbs at 5'0" is not fat, because of him she has terrible self esteem and no matter what anyone says she still feels fat and ugly. her mom kicked her out because her mom doesn't want to leave her dad. and its not like she didn't know what her dad did, she has no job and no car, so she is almost always home and she does nothing about it. her mom chose her dad over her. i know my mom would never do that. i really hope that her luck will turn around soon. being born with a long list of medical conditions, possible bone cancer,being raped,a long list of abusive boyfriends (including a recent one who threatened to kill her,her friend and her friends parents), all of the stuff her dad has done and now being homeless. i will never know how she keeps fighting but somehow she does, and i think life needs to seriously give her a break. why do bad things happen to good people?

 

[GO-NAD!]

my best-friend is now homeless. her mom kicked her out of the house because she hates her dad. she has a good reason though after what he has done. he would rarely let her eat because he said she looked fat. 95lbs at 5'0" is not fat, because of him she has terrible self esteem and no matter what anyone says she still feels fat and ugly. her mom kicked her out because her mom doesn't want to leave her dad. and its not like she didn't know what her dad did, she has no job and no car, so she is almost always home and she does nothing about it. her mom chose her dad over her. i know my mom would never do that. i really hope that her luck will turn around soon. being born with a long list of medical conditions, possible bone cancer,being raped,a long list of abusive boyfriends (including a recent one who threatened to kill her,her friend and her friends parents), all of the stuff her dad has done and now being homeless. i will never know how she keeps fighting but somehow she does, and i think life needs to seriously give her a break. why do bad things happen to good people?

That is beyond bizarre! How old is she and does she have a place to stay?

 

[JerryLove]

So what are you doing to help? Will she be staying on your couch?

 

[rnatalli]

I know it's hard to see, but in the long run, she's probably better off taking her licks now rather than dealing with a family like that. Hopefully she has a place to stay and holds tough as someone who survives this sort of thing will do well in life if they can put it behind them emotionally.

 

[Chu Gai]

How old is she?

 

[jamie2112]

just my opinion but you should step up and help her out.It seems like you know her very well and since she has NO support I would suggest giving her some.I know I would if I had a friend in that same situation........best of luck to you and her.........

 

[highfigh]

my best-friend is now homeless. her mom kicked her out of the house because she hates her dad. she has a good reason though after what he has done. he would rarely let her eat because he said she looked fat. 95lbs at 5'0" is not fat, because of him she has terrible self esteem and no matter what anyone says she still feels fat and ugly. her mom kicked her out because her mom doesn't want to leave her dad. and its not like she didn't know what her dad did, she has no job and no car, so she is almost always home and she does nothing about it. her mom chose her dad over her. i know my mom would never do that. i really hope that her luck will turn around soon. being born with a long list of medical conditions, possible bone cancer,being raped,a long list of abusive boyfriends (including a recent one who threatened to kill her,her friend and her friends parents), all of the stuff her dad has done and now being homeless. i will never know how she keeps fighting but somehow she does, and i think life needs to seriously give her a break. why do bad things happen to good people?

She doesn't need luck, she needs help. A lot of help.

If you do take her in temporarily, you'll need to set some firm ground rules, like never being allowed to see the former boyfriend who made the threats. I would also tell her to consider some legal means of keeping him away from her and anyone she's associated with because as we have all seen, when someone decides "If I can't have her, NOBODY can!", it gets ugly, fast. If there's some kind of proof of his threats, it needs to be handed over to the police. People who help D-bags like her ex-boyfriend often become victims of their anger/stupidity, so make sure you don't fall into this category.

If her mom is that much or a turd that she'll choose a dirtbag over her own daughter, your "best friend" will have to make some hard decisions, like possibly never seeing her parents again and if it was her dad who raped her, she needs to file a complaint so he can go away.

 

[jeffsg4mac]

She doesn't need luck, she needs help. A lot of help.

If you do take her in temporarily, you'll need to set some firm ground rules, like never being allowed to see the former boyfriend who made the threats. I would also tell her to consider some legal means of keeping him away from her and anyone she's associated with because as we have all seen, when someone decides "If I can't have her, NOBODY can!", it gets ugly, fast. If there's some kind of proof of his threats, it needs to be handed over to the police. People who help D-bags like her ex-boyfriend often become victims of their anger/stupidity, so make sure you don't fall into this category.

If her mom is that much or a turd that she'll choose a dirtbag over her own daughter, your "best friend" will have to make some hard decisions, like possibly never seeing her parents again and if it was her dad who raped her, she needs to file a complaint so he can go away.

That is all good advice and I would only add that if she does not have a job or a trade then she needs to start a trade school or college and get something going. The WORST thing you can do for her is give her a handout. Helping her get her life and career in order is the best thing you could do for her.

 

[craig7]

That is beyond bizarre! How old is she and does she have a place to stay?

she is 16 and she is staying at one of her ex's apartments. hes a good guy though, except for his pirate fetish

So what are you doing to help?

i'm doing what ever she asks me to, i told her that i'll always be there if she ever needs any help. but the guy shes staying with has a job so he would probably be more helpful than i would

Will she be staying on your couch?

like i said before, no that would be awesome if she was though

 

[mike c]

how old are you?

 

[craig7]

how old are you?

15 years old

 

[highfigh]

That is all good advice and I would only add that if she does not have a job or a trade then she needs to start a trade school or college and get something going. The WORST thing you can do for her is give her a handout. Helping her get her life and career in order is the best thing you could do for her.

This would all be much easier to comment on if we had known her age at the outset.

Handouts can be exactly what she needs if they're the right thing. Just being given anything useful can help her feel like she's worth something, especially if that thought is reinforced.

Children's Services should be called NOW. People can have kids but her parents should never be allowed contact with any.

 

[highfigh]

15 years old

Her parents drink and/or do drugs, right? She needs to call Children's Services ASAP. She's also way too young to be living with someone, ex or not. She needs to get herself together before she has another boyfriend. She's not in any condition to be involved with anyone. At this point, she'll be nothing more than a doormat because that's how she sees herself. You don't need to support her, financially, but you and any other friends need to be there for moral support.

 

[Davemcc]

If this is your best friend, you need to get your parents involved at the very least. From the sound of the story you've just described, she is no position mentally or physically to be left with an ex-boyfriend as her sole source of support. If this boyfriend is over 18 with his own apartment, there are other issues that should be considered as well with her being only 16. Right now, you are describing a highly vulnerable young girl that is highly susceptible to abuse and victimization.

If you know the people involved and you are comfortable with the situation as her best friend, if you know she is safe and not being taken advantage of, then continue to be her friend but be vigilant for any warning signs. If anything, ANYTHING AT ALL makes you think she is uncomfortable in her situation, take IMMEDIATE ACTION on her behalf.

 

[jamie2112]

Well now if I had known the age my response would have been much different than that.She need or you need to call Child Protective Services ASAP........16 is still a child and thats really what needs to happen.........

 

[jeffsg4mac]

This would all be much easier to comment on if we had known her age at the outset.

Handouts can be exactly what she needs if they're the right thing. Just being given anything useful can help her feel like she's worth something, especially if that thought is reinforced.

Children's Services should be called NOW. People can have kids but her parents should never be allowed contact with any.

I agree, 16 years old changes everything. I thought we were talking about a 20+ person. Child services and the police should now be involved.

 

[Davemcc]

I agree, 16 years old changes everything. I thought we were talking about a 20+ person. Child services and the police should now be involved.

I would be more emphatic about this point but I do not know the law here. I think it may be possible for a 16 year old to legally live on there own here. Not knowing the individuals involved, nor the laws that apply, I leave it to those closer to the situation to find out which laws apply and take appropriate action.

 

[lsiberian]

You should contact OACAS immediately at 416.987.7725

Let them guide you with the appropriate action you should take. If you feel uncomfortable going through those means then contact your school counselor. This is clearly a case of neglect and emotional abuse. She might even have legal means to suit her father in civil court, but I'm unfamiliar with the Canadian legal system. I would suggest doing everything in her power to stop this man.

 

[sawzalot]

I agree with everyone about the authorities involvement, she is too young to go it alone and can be very easily manipulated and taken advantage of under these extreme circumstances, call someone immediately. Older friends with jobs might mean well but sometimes people expect "Too" much in exchange and that would be making a really bad situation even worse, tread lightly young man the ice is thin and you may not have the resources needed.

 

[highfigh]

I would be more emphatic about this point but I do not know the law here. I think it may be possible for a 16 year old to legally live on there own here. Not knowing the individuals involved, nor the laws that apply, I leave it to those closer to the situation to find out which laws apply and take appropriate action.

If Canada's law regarding this is similar to what we have in many parts of the US, the parents may emancipate the child, often in an action initiated by the child, with legal representation. It's not always an abusive situation that precipitates this action by a child, either but if the child just isn't ready to be on their own, a legal guardian will be appointed. This girl is not ready to support herself. She needs to heal from the abuse/rape, she needs more education and she needs to learn some job skills before this would even look like a good idea.