Funny Craigslist Post's....

[GO-NAD!]

Subject: This was actually on Craigslist

"Looking for someone special who would kill my drummer for $100.00. do not fear any negative consequences for this act. any self respecting law enforcement agency would gladly turn the other cheek once they hear this guy "play". I am tired of hearing his 70's style fills put in the wrong spot and ending one half beat early or late depending on how much he's had to drink. I am tired of him standing up behind his drums between songs and ripping his shirt off and flexing his muscles at wedding receptions where we were hired to play Air Supply, Carpenters , and Ann Murray songs because "chicks dig the pecs, dude". I am tired of him showing up 20 minutes late for rehearsals then pouting until someone helps him load in his drums, then taking 30 minutes to set them up and needing a smoke break every 15 minutes, then wanting to leave early because "this chick is so fine, I can't say no, and she knows record people dude, so it's for the band" I am totally done with him calling me up at midnight to play me some damned jazz fusion album from 1981, crying and saying how we shouldn't have sold out to "the man" and asking if I know anyone who can get him some weed knowing full well I smoked twice in 69 and never touched it after that. I am sick of him farting on stage where the drum mics pick it up and thinking this **** is funny.

I am sick and tired of counting off slow ballads at well under 80 bpm, only to have them morph into the methamphetamine version of "flight of the bumble bee", because that's the tempo he "feels" it at.

I am tired of having to carry jumper cables to the gig because "I must have left the dome light on again, dude" instead of admitting his 84 oldsmobile is a worn out piece of crap. I am tired of him asking when he's gonna get a drum solo. I am tired of paying his tab at restaurants because "that chick must have stole my wallet man, but it was worth it 'cause she was a phreak". I will not move my amp again so he can put another new cymbal on the stage, because "when we learn some fusion i'll need this sound"… please somebody kill this mother****er. i can't do it because he's my brother and mom would be so pissed off even though she thinks the band would probably sound better too. besides, if you are good at killing drummers, you could probably make a lot of money in this town."

Oh man, I'm dyin'!! That is too funny!

 

[GO-NAD!]

Hey, I just noticed that this thread has been around for a few months and I hadn't seen it before.

Love it though and I'll be keeping my eyes open for some good, er, I mean bad ads....

 

[BoredSysAdmin]

Oh man, I'm dyin'!! That is too funny!

Thanks for quoting the original ad. Craiglist list says it's expired already...

 

[dkane360]

The Most METAL Speakers you may ever own!

http://newjersey.craigslist.org/ele/1795764260.html

 

[Seth=L]

The Most METAL Speakers you make ever own!

http://newjersey.craigslist.org/ele/1795764260.html

That guy is funny. I'd buy them just to say I did and so I'd have a chance to speak face to face with this awesome person.

 

[Patrukas777]

That guy is funny. I'd buy them just to say I did and so I'd have a chance to speak face to face with this awesome person.

I agree...I would love to see a commercial with that guy and those speakers. It would be great!

 

[dkane360]

I would pick them up if he were closer. He's almost 2 hours away lol.

 

[Patrukas777]

I would pick them up if he were closer. He's almost 2 hours away lol.

You got to do it bro...bring a camera and take pics. Then post the pics on the here. I'll give you the 20 bucks lol...you have to supply the metal shirt

 

[pzaur]

You got to do it bro...bring a camera and take pics. Then post the pics on the here. I'll give you the 20 bucks lol...you have to supply the metal shirt

It'd be better if the shirt said "Yanni" with a Yanni photo on it!

-pat

 

[dkane360]

If I go, he'll notice that I'm not a metalhead. Maybe if yepimonfire went with me

 

[Patrukas777]

It'd be better if the shirt said "Yanni" with a Yanni photo on it!

-pat

That would be great.

If I go, he'll notice that I'm not a metalhead. Maybe if yepimonfire went with me

Things might go wrong if you take yepimonfire lol....I would do what pzaur recommended

 

[dkane360]

That would be great.



Things might go wrong if you take yepimonfire lol....I would do what pzaur recommended

Lol. Now all I need is a yanni shirt...

http://swag-city.com/popup_image.php?pID=7137&osCsid=6c5d93dafadcf8470e52e6250a5b2073

 

[Patrukas777]

Lol. Now all I need is a yanni shirt...

http://swag-city.com/popup_image.php?pID=7137&osCsid=6c5d93dafadcf8470e52e6250a5b2073

That shirt is sweet....I need one!

 

[GO-NAD!]

I'd buy a used car from this guy....

.....since he's pretty honest about what he's selling.

From my workplace noticeboard:

"For sale: Nasty & cantankerous cat. Only asking $1000, or nothing, for this nasty 15 year old cat who will claw your furniture and door seals."

I have to tip my hat to his patience, that he could endure 15 years with this animal.

 

[soniceuphoria]

http://indianapolis.craigslist.org/zip/1828371137.html

 

[soniceuphoria]

http://indianapolis.craigslist.org/bar/1824434024.html

 

[dkane360]

I was looking for some funny craigslist posts, and stumbled upon the missed connections section. Some of this stuff is... interesting. Thought id share 2 that I found (sorry if either of these are you guys ):

Mopping at nursing home - m4m - 46

I was visiting the home around 8 a.m. You were mopping around the nurses' station. Looked like we caught each other's eye. Interested?

You Deliver food to me. - m4m

Hey you've delivered food to me a few times and i wanted to ask you in but didnt have the balls. tell me what you like on my bookshelf. i'd love to give you a better tip than cash.

 

[dkane360]

I put my zune on craigslist and I got an interesting response (obviously a scam).

alright I'm interested in buying this item for my Spouse as a promised gift and she is currently out of town for a project as it's her first time traveling out of town.Since we're not going to be together this year, so I thought I should be getting him something nice. I will be paying you for this transaction to be concluded right away via my PayPal account, so kindly get back to me with your PayPal email address as for me to transfer the money ASAP. I would have prefer it if you can get the package to me in my house while I personally send it to her but am presently in (New York) and am very much ready to pay for shipping charges.. I will add an extra $150.00 to cover the Shipping&Handling charges via UPS or FedEx.I will appreciate it a lot if you can kindly help me wrap the package very well so that it will get to her as a mode of a gift . Please don't be afraid of dealing with me bcos am shipping abroad. Please be honest with me I will be waiting to read from you soon.

Regards

I'm confused, is it for a guy or girl? Should I tell him/her that it costs more than $150 to ship? lol

EDIT: Heres my response-

Unfortunately I don't have paypal. You can wire the funds to my bank directly. The bank name is "National Bank of Nigerian Princes". They know me by name, so just tell them you want to deposit money into Prince Gullible the VII's account. When I receive the money, I will send the item via armored car.

Thanks,
Prince Gullible VIII

Edit again, LMFAO I found him on facebook. Hes actually Nigerian!
http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000310657583&v=wall&ref=search

 

[Seth=L]

Edit again, LMFAO I found him on facebook. Hes actually Nigerian!
http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000310657583&v=wall&ref=search

LMAO, too funny.

 

[BoredSysAdmin]

This Is Probably Taking Your Apple Hate Too Far

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/sha/1882466247.html

Oh, hello. I'm moving to NYC at the end of August, and am looking to sign a one year lease somewhere in Manhattan. The more happening the area, the better.

Other than budget ($1400 or less), I have two major criteria

1) NO IPHONE USERS. I refuse to live with anyone that has sold their immortal soul to Steve Jobs. I don't care about your app that tells you when you need to water your plants. I don't care that your phone can function as a Speak N Spell. I don't care that your phone has a million "exciting" features that exist elsewhere. NO IPHONES. Oh, and probably no iPads, either. Upon meeting, you must show me your phone (no scammers! I will be calling it in person to confirm that it is indeed your phone)
2) STARCRAFT 2 experience is a big plus. If you play, please post a link to your battle.net profile. The more experience, the better. No bronze leaguers.

Looking forward to hearing from you!