Jokes... Heard any good ones lately?

[njedpx3]

New Sensi store

A new Publix Supermarket opened in Morristown, TN. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the distant sound of thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh cut hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks and brauts.

In the liquor department, the fresh, clean, crisp smell of tapped Miller Lite.

When you approach electronics there is a 80 " Plasma, Wilson Audio speakers and a JL Gotham subwoofer.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread & cookies.

I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.


Peace and Good Sound,

Forest Man

 

[billy p]

Potentially Vs Realistically

> A young boy went up to his father and said, "Dad, the teacher gave us
> an assignment to determine the difference between potentially and
> realistically.
> Can you help me?"

> The father thought for a
> moment, then answered. "Go ask your
> mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.
> Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million
> dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a
> million dollars.
> Come back and tell me what you learn from that."

> So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad
> Pitt for a million dollars?"
> The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that
> money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!"

> The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad
> Pitt for a million dollars?"
> The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him
> in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?!"

> The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad
> Pitt for a million dollars?"
> "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million
> bucks would buy?"

> The boy pondered the answers for a few days, then went back to his
> dad.
> His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between
> potentially and realistically?"
> The boy replied, "Yes... Potentially, you and I are sitting on three
> million dollars..............
> But
> Realistically,......... We're living with two sluts and a queer.

 

[STRONGBADF1]

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

I love this one.

 

[njedpx3]

Why marry?

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.
__________


At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'


__________


A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'
__________

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
__________


A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .
__________

A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
__________

A young son asked,
'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'
__________


Then there was a woman who said,
'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late.'
__________


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
__________

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.


__________

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
__________

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
__________


'A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death'
__________

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.'

The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick,

we'd be riding the bus, so shut up.'


Peace, Good Sound, Good Video and Good Humor,

Forest Man,


P.S. - Now a more somber note: Life is too short. My new neighbor, friend and fishing buddy at my cabin location came home from fishing Saturday, went into diabetic shock then cardiac arrest and unexpectedly passed away. Like I said, life is too short to sweat the small stuff. They are doing an autospy today and I will go to his funeral later this week

 

[majorloser]

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit $20 million."

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at financial planning than men.

 

[njedpx3]

Why Women Can't Fix Cars

WHY FEMALES CAN'T FIX CARS

Another of life's mysteries explained!!

It honestly never occurred to me..........

Why Women Can't Fix Cars....

I always thought it had something to do with their fingernails!!!!

Who Knew??

Peace and Good Sound,

Forest Man

P.S. -- Tell me the truth did you see the car was a BMW ?

 

[billy p]

The man of the house!

A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be THE Man of Your House."

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm done eating my meal, you will serve me a scrumptious dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want!

Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

The wife replied, "The fcuking funeral director would be my first guess."

&

Another senior moment...ha

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas.. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music...

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me.....

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

 

[billy p]

For my Canadian brethren...but still very funny!

Prime Minister Stephen Harper was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes.

They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked the PM if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'. So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.

One little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.'

'No,' said Harper, 'that would be an accident.'

A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.'

'I'm afraid not,' explained Harper.
'That's what we would call great loss.'

The room went silent. No other children volunteered.

Harper searched the room.

'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'

Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand...

In a quiet voice he said: 'If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Harper was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.'

'Fantastic!' exclaimed Harper. That's right.

And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?'


'Well,' says the Little Johnny, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be a fcuking accident either'.

 

[Rickster71]

Girls' Night Out

Some 40-year-old girlfriends discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally, they agree to meet at the Ocean View Restaurant, because the
waiters are cute and buff.

10 years later, at 50 years of age, the women once again discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally, they agree to meet at the Ocean View Restaurant, because the food is very good and the wine selection is excellent.

10 years later, at 60 years of age, the girls once again discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally, they agree to meet at the Ocean View Restaurant, because they can eat there in peace and quiet, and the restaurant has a beautiful view of the ocean.

10 years later, at 70 years of age, the women once again discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally, they agree to meet at the Ocean View Restaurant, because the restaurant is wheelchair accessible, and it even has an elevator.

10 years later, at 80 years of age, the girls once again discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally, they agree to meet at the Ocean View Restaurant, because they have never been there before.

 

[njedpx3]

Update on Cinderella

Cinderella is now 95 years old.

After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching
the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.

One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother.


Cinderella said, 'Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years'?

The fairy godmother replied, 'Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?'

Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some
thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish:

'The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I'm living hand to mouth on my disability cheques, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension.
Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold.

Cinderella said, 'Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother' The fairy godmother replied, 'It is the least that I can do. What do you want for your second wish?'

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, 'I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had.'


At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years.

And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: 'You have one more wish; what shall it be?'


Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, 'I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man.' Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.

The fairy godmother said,
'Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life.'

With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.

For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes.


Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.

Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed
in her rocking chair, & held her close in his young muscular arms.
He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered...

'Bet you're sorry now that you cut my nuts off'

Peace and Good Sound,

Forest Man

 

[njedpx3]

Nominated the best joke of the year


A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States . He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!"

The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican." The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America ."

The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, "Thank you for wonderful America !

That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East . I am not American."

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?"

She says, "No, I am from Poland ."

Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"

The lady checks her watch and says, "Probably at work."

IF YOU DON'T PASS THIS ON TO YOUR FRIENDS, BY 11:30 AM TOMORROW, YOU WILL RECEIVE THREE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ABSOLUTELY FREE.



Peace,

Forest Man

 

[njedpx3]

Cattle Guards

For those of you who have never traveled to the West or Southwest, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings, in dug-out places in the roads adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing. For some reason the cattle will not step on the guards, probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails.

A few months ago, President Obama received a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado . Because Colorado ranchers had protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, he ordered the Secretary of the Interior to fire half of the guards immediately. Before the Interior Secretary could respond and presumably straighten him out, Vice-President, Joe Biden intervened with a request that before any guards were fired, they be given six months of re-training.

And we PAY these people???


Laugh ...it was a joke

Peace,

Forest Man

 

[njedpx3]

weak (sic) of jokes

Week of jokes--- actually they are all somewhat funny


MONDAY
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex...
Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the mother told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying,
'Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!'

TUESDAY
A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, 'Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!'
The preacher said, 'Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity.'
The man said, 'I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!'

The preacher said, 'No ****?'


WEDNESDAY
Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.'
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
'Gee, Mom,' he exclaimed. 'For me?'

'Just take two,' Brenda replied. 'The rest are for your father.'

THURSDAY
One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman.. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly. Brought before the court, on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own defense.
'Your Honor,' she began coolly, 'I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly.'

FRIDAY
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa . 'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?'
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, 'Wedding Cake.'

SATURDAY
Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?' Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!' They are knocked over, but continue to ask. 'So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?' 'I lied about my age', Bob replies. 'What, did you tell her you were only 50?'
Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 90.'

SUNDAY
Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland .. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. 'These' she explained, 'Are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.' She then asked, 'What do you do in America with your old goats?'
A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send us on bus tours!


Peace and Good Sound,

Forest Man

 

[njedpx3]

one more good one ..then I will quit for awile "LAUGHING NURSE"

Nurses aren't supposed to laugh .......

"Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse. "I'm a professional.

In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," said Fred, and he proceeded to drop his trousers,

revealing the tiniest 'man thingy' the nurse had ever seen.

Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than a AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling, then fell to the

floor laughing. Ten minutes later she was able to struggle to her feet

and regain her composure.

"I am so sorry," she said. "I don't know what came over me.

On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again.
Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," Fred replied. She ran out of the room.



Smile you will live longer, Peace,

Forest Man

 

[lavender]

Here's a great one from MacManNM.

A man, his wife, and mother-in-law went on vacation to Jerusalem . While
they were there the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker told them,
"You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here
in the Holy Land for $150.

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped
home. The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you
would spend only $150.

The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three
days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

Ha ha, that is funny, let me tell a /jokes-joke for you. An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

 

[njedpx3]

Here are the 2009 Darwin awards.

Eighth Place
In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

Seventh Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran", accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

Sixth Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand.
People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him.
It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him.
Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Fifth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing.
Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the
floor.

Fourth Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth
and pull the trigger.

Third Place
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at thefront door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.
The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired.
The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds.
Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

HONORABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice that the window was closed.

RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more excited, and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay near by. They secured one
end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the
ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS....
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief.
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.
The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him.
It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... '**** happens'

IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL.

Peace and Good Humor keep you young,

Forest Man

 

[haraldo]

How different ppl do a visit:
- English - with self-respect;
- French - with hhis wife;
- Jewish- with a cake...

How they finish the visit :
- English - with self-respect;
- French - with some one else's wife;
-Jewish - with a cake...

What they think when they leave:
- English - "It's good that I've kept a self-respect";
- French - "Hmmm...Interesting...With who My wife left";
- Jewish - "Who else can I visit with this cake?"

 

[njedpx3]

Just for you photography buffs -- A morality question

Morality Question
_______________________________

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By
giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The
test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you
will have to make a decision.
Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.

THE SITUATION:
You are in Florida, Miami to be specific. There is chaos all around you
caused by flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a
photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the
middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless. You're
trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people
swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.

Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury....

============ ========= ========= ========= ========
THE TEST:
Suddenly you see a man and a woman in the water. They are fighting for
their lives, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move
closer. Somehow they look familiar. You suddenly realize who they are.

It's Barack Obama and Nancy Pelosi!! At the same time you notice that
the raging waters are about to take them under forever.

You have two options:
You can save their lives or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize
winning photo, documenting the deaths of two of the world's most
powerful people.

============ ========= ========= ========= ====

THE QUESTION:
Here's the question, and please give an honest answer......

Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the
classic simplicity of black and white?



================

Kinda funny if you just take it on the surface (and don't actually think about it) --Okay it was a JOKE


Peace, Serenity and a little Humor and good HT = long life ,

Forest Black

 

[Nemo128]

Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the
classic simplicity of black and white?

================

Kinda funny if you just take it on the surface (and don't actually think about it) --Okay it was a JOKE

Neither, I'd shoot it on my digital SLR.

As for it being a joke, come on, you and I both know it's not so don't disguise it as such. Be honest with yourself and others as your "joke" suggests in the beginning.

A small plane crashes on the beach of a deserted island. The few survivors gather and discuss how to deal with the situation. One person starts giving out some tasks, and he tells a Korean man "Ok, you take care of the supplies. We need supplies." The Korean responds, "Oooooooh, oooooooo-kay, supplies." and he runs off into the woods. Everyone else does the same to take care of their tasks.

All the survivors gather back at the beach, but the Korean is missing. Everyone is standing around talking about where he is and what could have happened to them. Suddendly, the bushes behind them rustle, startling the group. They all turn in fear to see the Korean jump out and yell...

"SUPPLIES!!!!!!!"

 

[njedpx3]

I offer a Cool Clock as a Piece Pipe

Neither, I'd shoot it on my digital SLR.

As for it being a joke, come on, you and I both know it's not so don't disguise it as such. Be honest with yourself and others as your "joke" suggests in the beginning.

A small plane crashes on the beach of a deserted island. The few survivors gather and discuss how to deal with the situation. One person starts giving out some tasks, and he tells a Korean man "Ok, you take care of the supplies. We need supplies." The Korean responds, "Oooooooh, oooooooo-kay, supplies." and he runs off into the woods. Everyone else does the same to take care of their tasks.

All the survivors gather back at the beach, but the Korean is missing. Everyone is standing around talking about where he is and what could have happened to them. Suddendly, the bushes behind them rustle, startling the group. They all turn in fear to see the Korean jump out and yell...

"SUPPLIES!!!!!!!"

Hey Nemo128 sorry for pawning it off as a joke; we seem to be on different political stratas, I respect that.

As a piece pipe - what do you think of this CLOCK?

http://forums.audioholics.com/forums/showthread.php?p=707228#post707228

Peace,

Forest Man