IME, unless you are listening without subwoofers or your speakers simply do not have enough output to play at the volume you want, there is amazingly little to be gained by buying floorstanders (unless you just really like the look!). Accordingly, I don't believe switching to floorstanders will get you much of what you are looking for. The switch to the reference drivers might, and if you can borrow or buy (with return option) RBH bookshelfs with the reference drivers, that would be worthwhile. Compare them in your room first and then take them to your friends house to compare with his B&W's. To me, the ease of transporting the smaller speakers without risking damage makes avoiding towers worthwhile - like I said, I have never experienced a substantial change in sound between smaller and larger speakers when there is a sub in play.
But I am maybe getting ahead of myself! What was it you liked so about the B&W's? and which model does he have? Did you listen to your music or his (how familiar are you with the music you heard)?
Why aren't you considering buying the same speakers he has? It seems like that is you new objective - to meet or beat the B&W's.
I am a RBH fan, but once you've been around this hobby, you realize there is no one speaker brand that is the perfect solution for everyone. Personally, I would be equally happy with upper level speakers from Revel, Focal, or Salk to name just a few. They don't sound identical, but they do sound equally fantastic! The switch to the /R drivers is a easily heard improvement IME, but if that doesn't resolve the issue, you should move on.