So, when the lady started griping about the previously agreed upon plan of me upgrading the A/V experience in our home, after previously agreeing to it (did I say that already?),I called her out. Shenanigans! I never cried foul for all the random money she spent on so many things that I just looked away from. I quite fairly reminded her of that, and how for our entire 15 yr relationship, I haven’t done anything for me. I presented a coherent and cogent explanation of why I wanted good A/V rig for the house.
And since then (*knocks on wood),it’s been wonderful.
She actually closes me in
my room!
Ha! And all I’m doing is trying to escape her bad tv habit. (One more episode of Hells Kitchen reruns and I’m gonna go reverse Snapped!!)
The fun part... as if all that wasn’t fun already... was when she started guilting me for doing this.
I just turned around one day after saying “whatever” a few too many times, and laid it down: we talked about this... you signed on... I haven’t ever spent money on myself... don’t care that you changed your mind... you don’t get to run this show... and you don’t get to play any cards. Not gonna have it. Period.
That was it.
I’m in a better mood because I have good music back in my life. She’s in a good mood, perhaps because I stood up to her, but doesn’t matter. Maybe it’s just because I’m in a better mood!
At the end of the day,
@William Lemmerhirt nailed it, and I said it before, too:
Any relationship: love, special-friend, wife... whatever: it’s a partnership! If you are in a relationship that is a one-way street... you lost the game! If your partner can’t accept what’s important to you, there’s something wrong. If they choose not to participate, that’s on them. If you do your part to stay engaged and don’t shut them out, rather invite them in and enroll them in the experience, then you are doing your part!
The conversation has to be had, man or woman, either/or.
