My depression I've been dealing with.

[KaatheSnake]

Hi guys,
I haven't been feeling well these days. I've been dealing with almost unbearable depression, it's like a hammer hits your happiness with a fatal blow. Sometimes I just feel like I should just go ahead and end my life, but I know that shouldn't be the case. I believe I have a happy life ahead for me, but that belief is just being torn down like an old building. I'm still listening to music, but I'm not getting around very well. I feel very sick at the stomach, and I just can't deal with it. This is my reason for my absence off here, I just need some time to get better, or either just end this all. I'm so depressed and sick.
Best to all.
Ryan (Or Kaa)

 

[Drunkpenguin]

Whoa dude. Suicide is not cool. Get that thought out of your head now. People never consider what that does to the people around them. It destroys families. My causin recently offed himself in his parents house. He had a wife and kids and none of them will ever be the same. Ever. I know your young but believe me many people think this stuff. We all have bad periods of life but they fade away eventually. I promise you. Life as an adult is MUCH better. Child hood is a fraction of your life and i promise it will get better some day and you wont even look back at this time of your life. Find someone to talk to. Seriously.

 

[snakeeyes]

You need to see a doc that can prescribe meds if you have a clinical depression. I think it’s like over 25% of the population that has or will have a mental illness during part of their life. It’s taboo to talk about for some reason but it’s real. Don’t delay. Talk to your parents or school counselor to get you to a doc quick.

 

[KenM10759]

I have lost a dear brother, who left a spouse two small children. Apart from what that did to his kids (which was devastating), what it did to his wife, my parents, me, and my siblings was devastating. He's not around to explain, fix it, or even apologize. It didn't hurt him, but sure did tear apart the lives of countless people who loved him and sure didn't deserve that. I wish he'd called 1-800-273-8255 and talked with someone if he couldn't call me.

Any person's worst problem is their own mind. That can and does change dramatically over short periods of time. Make the call rather than making a move.

 

[KaatheSnake]

You need to see a doc that can prescribe meds if you have a clinical depression. I think it’s like over 25% of the population that has or will have a mental illness during part of their life. It’s taboo to talk about for some reason but it’s real. Don’t delay. Talk to your parents or school counselor to get you to a doc quick.

I really need to see a psychiatrist. Thankfully I've got an appointment scheduled for tomorrow at 9:00 AM. At least I can talk to him about my situation.

 

[KaatheSnake]

Whoa dude. Suicide is not cool. Get that thought out of your head now. People never consider what that does to the people around them. It destroys families. My causin recently offed himself in his parents house. He had a wife and kids and none of them will ever be the same. Ever. I know your young but believe me many people think this stuff. We all have bad periods of life but they fade away eventually. I promise you. Life as an adult is MUCH better. Child hood is a fraction of your life and i promise it will get better some day and you wont even look back at this time of your life. Find someone to talk to. Seriously.

I'm very sorry to hear about your cousin. Thankfully I've got an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow at 9:00 AM. Maybe he can prescribe meds that could help me. Yes, my childhood has been the worst. I'm throwing that out the door when I turn 18. God I don't even think I can make it another 5 years! Good grief this is stressful!

 

[Drunkpenguin]

I delt with some depression as a teenager. I felt like I didn't have control of my own life. Hated school, home life sucked, relationships were chaos. The only advice I can give you is to find things to look forward to in the NEAR future and hang on to those things. When you reach those, find the next one to look forward to. I remember one time hearing about a new star trek show coming out several months down the road, Voyager, and I can still remember thinking, well I gotta be around for that! I loved Star Trek! Turned out the show kinda sucked lol but my point is no matter how bad things may seem there is always something to look forward to and some times all you need is a little distraction to get you past whatever is sucking right now.

Good luck man!

 

[TechHDS]

Hi guys,
I haven't been feeling well these days. I've been dealing with almost unbearable depression, it's like a hammer hits your happiness with a fatal blow. Sometimes I just feel like I should just go ahead and end my life, but I know that shouldn't be the case. I believe I have a happy life ahead for me, but that belief is just being torn down like an old building. I'm still listening to music, but I'm not getting around very well. I feel very sick at the stomach, and I just can't deal with it. This is my reason for my absence off here, I just need some time to get better, or either just end this all. I'm so depressed and sick.
Best to all.
Ryan (Or Kaa)

Hey there! It’s awesome to have you back! There’s this ole saying, When life gives you Lemons, make lemonade. Everyone and I mean everyone on this planet has good days and bad days. Some more or less, your a very bright young man with a Whole life ahead of you! I’m sure a Lot of people like and love you! Your new to this forum and already you have made a bunch of friends! We all believe in you! I myself think you one Cool Dude Man! You have a Lot to offer, your Threads are really good reads, your very talented! I know you said you been sick with cold, so that alone can and will bring anyone down. You made some good friends on this forum! Plus in my book Your one Cool Dude young Man! Talk with your Mother or Father about what you are feeling, or with a friend believe me it helps. Best of wishes to you! Your more than welcome to inbox me for a chat anytime!! Remember, think positive thoughts, do positive things, your passion for life and the good you have in you are your best allies. Your friend Mike!

 

[KaatheSnake]

Hey there! It’s awesome to have you back! There’s this ole saying, When life gives you Lemons, make lemonade. Everyone and I mean everyone on this planet has good days and bad days. Some more or less, your a very bright young man with a Whole life ahead of you! I’m sure a Lot of people like and love you! Your new to this forum and already you have made a bunch of friends! We all believe in you! I myself think you one Cool Dude Man! You have a Lot to offer, your Threads are really good reads, your very talented! I know you said you been sick with cold, so that alone can and will bring anyone down. You made some good friends on this forum! Plus in my book Your one Cool Dude young Man! Talk with your Mother or Father about what you are feeling, or with a friend believe me it helps. Best of wishes to you! Your more than welcome to inbox me for a chat anytime!! Remember, think positive thoughts, do positive things, your passion for life and the good you have in you are your best allies. Your friend Mike!

Thank you very much for the empathy Mr. Mike. It's nice to have friends like you and everyone else on this forum. I'm feeling a little better right now. Thankfully I have an appointment with a psychiatrist at 9:00 AM tomorrow. I may just be tired and worn out after my cold. I'm going to feel better, and life will be happier very soon. It was also very nice for you to compliment me, that was very nice of you. Hope things are well on your end.
Have a great night,
Your friend, Ryan
P.S.- This is the best audio talk forum ever! Nice people like you and all my other friends like @Drunkpenguin , @lovinthehd , and so many other friends are what make this forum great!

 

[TechHDS]

Thank you very much for the empathy Mr. Mike. It's nice to have friends like you and everyone else on this forum. I'm feeling a little better right now. Thankfully I have an appointment with a psychiatrist at 9:00 AM tomorrow. I may just be tired and worn out after my cold. I'm going to feel better, and life will be happier very soon. It was also very nice for you to compliment me, that was very nice of you. Hope things are well on your end.
Have a great night,
Your friend, Ryan
P.S.- This is the best audio talk forum ever! Nice people like you and all my other friends like @Drunkpenguin , @lovinthehd , and so many other friends are what make this forum great!

Your very welcome! Your right this Forum is the best! The ole timers on here are awesome! “Drunkpenguin” loveinthehd, PENG, M Code, littlewing, so many others are great guys! Very knowledgeable with a lot of experience with this hobby. Sleep well my friend! And remember it’s Never as bad as it seems!

Mike

 

[speakerman39]

@KaatheSnake never forget that we all deal with bad times and good times. The ONLY good thing about the bad times is that they are only temporary. It never rains forever my friend. Look for the good things that are coming to you right around corner.

Have dealt w/depression and anxiety my entire life. One day at a time. Let the Good Lord sort it all out. Just stay strong and enjoy the ride. Life is NOT easy for any of us. Still haven't gotten my million dollar speaker, but I am still here. Give it some time and you will see it does get better. Keep your chin up and move forward.


Cheers,

Phil

 

[lovinthehd]

Don't know what to say that hasn't been said above. Glad you're taking steps. Please let us know how it works out with your appointment. Hang in there!

 

[Danzilla31]

Hi guys,
I haven't been feeling well these days. I've been dealing with almost unbearable depression, it's like a hammer hits your happiness with a fatal blow. Sometimes I just feel like I should just go ahead and end my life, but I know that shouldn't be the case. I believe I have a happy life ahead for me, but that belief is just being torn down like an old building. I'm still listening to music, but I'm not getting around very well. I feel very sick at the stomach, and I just can't deal with it. This is my reason for my absence off here, I just need some time to get better, or either just end this all. I'm so depressed and sick.
Best to all.
Ryan (Or Kaa)

I don't know you like a lot of these guys do but I'm glad your here on this forum and I'm glad your reaching out. That tells me that you don't want to go through with this. It's just you can't on your own find your own way out. Like snakeeyes said a large part of the population goes through mental illness we hide it for all sorts of reasons but it's there and your not alone. I've been through two bouts of serious diagnosed clinical depression. The first was when my fiancee died in a car wreck. The second was about 7 years ago when I had a traumatic brain injury from a serious car accident. That one was the lowest of the low. I went from having a great job and bright future to being unable to leave the house plagued by severe depression mood swings panic attacks severe anxiety and seizures. I couldnt work for two years hell I even had to relearn to read walk even the simplest things I had to start over on. I needed medication for both situations to rebalance my brain chemistry and stabilize me to where I could take the steps to self heal. One thing I learned from all of that is depression and other mental illnesses are REAL. They are serious chemical imbalances in the brain. They are not your fault you literally are not processing things right now the way you would if your brain was at its normal chemical stability. A lot of the thoughts and feelings your having right now are not coming from the true you. They are coming from a brain and body that is severely hurting right now and these feelings and thoughts are it's way of crying out for help. I made a decision as I was going through this that if I go I go my way. Not blowing my brains out not hurting my family beyond belief. But by doing whatever it took and believe me it's taken a lot to get better no matter the sacrifice even if I ended up in a nut house I could look in the mirror and say you know what I'm not ashamed of this because honestly I gave this everything I had. And I've got nothing to regret because I know in my heart Ive done everything I could to get better. I gave it everything I had and I ended up getting better not ending up in a nut house. Ironically this is where my passion for all things audio began. It's something I found that helped take away my pain and gave me hope. I'm normally not this open about this but it took great courage for you to reach out to us. And I don't ever want people to suffer what I did when I can tell them through my experiences that they don't have to suffer they can get better. You can do this. Just like me you gotta decide how hard your willing to fight for your life. And this will be a dog fight my friend. This is tooth and nail all the way I know you can do this and I think you want to do this it's why your reaching out to us you just gotta make that decision that your gonna commit to this process of therapy and recovery with EVERYTHING you got. Id like to end this with a quote from a movie one of my favorite movies and all time favorite quotes. V for Vendetta when the girl is in the cell being tortured struggling to find hope and finds that note in the cell from the prisoner before her. I can't quote it exactly. But this is the sentiment it expresses that I think we are all expressing and wanting you to know right now. It goes though I may never know you see you spend time with you kiss you laugh with you hold your hand I want you to know that whoever you are I love you. Absolutely unconditionally with everything I have. I love you. There is a place inside that they can beat at but they can never have. It is an inch but it is yours and they can never take it away from you. Never let go off that inch and know that you are loved and not alone. Don't let that depression take away your inch your place inside that nothing can touch if you refuse to let it. Don't let it take away who you truly are. Fight for that inch with everything you have my friend. And know that you are not alone we are with you and you are loved in this world. Please let all of us know how the appointments go please pm me if you ever are in a dark place. I know you don't know me but I'd like for you too. And Id like to be there for you if you ever need it. God bless you my friend your in my prayers and thoughts tonight

 

[speakerman39]

@KaatheSnake, I forgot to mention that I like your name "Ryan". The reason being, that is also my first name........LOL!!!! That just means we are both way too cool! Always remember to smile my friend.


Cheers,

Phil

 

[little wing]

Ryan,
I know firsthand what you are going through. I went through it several years back after I lost my Mom to MS. Feeling sick in the stomach. I had ultrasounds and an Upper GI) doc said there was nothing wrong. Sleeping a lot, withdrawing from everything. The whole nine...I ended up taking Zoloft for about 3 years. It helped. Off meds now. But don't give up, there is hope.

 

[panteragstk]

Lots of good things said in this thread.

A lot of people forget what it's like being a kid/teenager, but it isn't as easy as people remember. Your brain is not even fully developed at this point.

The important thing to remember is that more people your age around you feel the same way, but just don't talk about it. As others have said, you aren't alone. You'd probably be shocked to find out how many people care about you and would be devastated without you in their life. Took a lot to post about this and I hope your visit with the doc today went well.

Something I've heard in the past that I agree with: suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Just reading posts in this thread amazes me what people have gone through and survived. You are MUCH stronger than you think.

 

[KaatheSnake]

@KaatheSnake, I forgot to mention that I like your name "Ryan". The reason being, that is also my first name........LOL!!!! That just means we are both way too cool! Always remember to smile my friend.


Cheers,

Phil

That's very cool! Just went to my psychiatrist and got some meds. Feeling great now, just listening to some reel to reel tape and chilling. Ryan is a unique name!

 

[KaatheSnake]

Ryan,
I know firsthand what you are going through. I went through it several years back after I lost my Mom to MS. Feeling sick in the stomach. I had ultrasounds and an Upper GI) doc said there was nothing wrong. Sleeping a lot, withdrawing from everything. The whole nine...I ended up taking Zoloft for about 3 years. It helped. Off meds now. But don't give up, there is hope.

Thank you for the empathy sir. I'm feeling better now. So sorry about your mom! Yes, suicide is very sad. That thought is out of my head. Just chilling and listening to my reel to reel.

 

[KaatheSnake]

Lots of good things said in this thread.

A lot of people forget what it's like being a kid/teenager, but it isn't as easy as people remember. Your brain is not even fully developed at this point.

The important thing to remember is that more people your age around you feel the same way, but just don't talk about it. As others have said, you aren't alone. You'd probably be shocked to find out how many people care about you and would be devastated without you in their life. Took a lot to post about this and I hope your visit with the doc today went well.

Something I've heard in the past that I agree with: suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Just reading posts in this thread amazes me what people have gone through and survived. You are MUCH stronger than you think.

Thank you for the empathy sir. Feeling much better now. Got some meds from my psychiatrist. The appointment went well. Just chilling and listening to my reel to reel while I'm typing this.

 

[KaatheSnake]

Don't know what to say that hasn't been said above. Glad you're taking steps. Please let us know how it works out with your appointment. Hang in there!

I'm doing much better today. Doctor's visit went well. Prescribed me with an atypical antipsychotic. Just chilling and listening to a 15 IPS reel to reel tape. There's something about tape hiss that just calms my nerves.