I think that we might be having two different conversations...although wood appears to be a universal theme.
I sense a great disturbance in the Innuendo.
I was keeping it clean, can't post those old pics ;-)
But I'll tell ya this once, and once only:
20' of climbing rope (its softer to the touch)
Fold it in half
From center, tie two slip knots, 12-14 inches in diameter, two feet from center on each side
Under the blanket, lay the two knots facing towards the foot of the bed
Pass each end of the rope under the mattress so they cross before exiting at the head where;
You will make two more slip knots with each end of the rope, large enough for the person's hands
Seduce your mate passionately, throwing them on the bed keeping their arms ABOVE their head
Keep them distracted (by any means necessary) while you slide the knots over their hands, don't worry about tightening them, they will do that themselves.
Repeat with feet
Enjoy!