maybe i have the wire hooke up in the plugs backwards. I hooked the same wire to the small post on both ends and the same wire to the bigger post on both ends of the 3.5mm jacks.
This is most likely the cause since it is not necessary that both AVR and amp use the same polarity (inside ground/negative, outside positive, as per convention). Look again in the trigger section for the receiver and the amp. It should give the polarity of the AVR output and amp input. Verify that you are feeding the positive of the AVR to the positive of the amp.
Alternately, undo the terminations on the amp end of the wire and expose the bare conductors. Keep the 3.5mm jack hooked into the amp trigger in. Now use the conductors to see which polarity makes the amp turn on. Once this is determined, reterminate the wire with the 3.5mm jack.
Assuming the amp works perfectly fine when manually powered and the trigger circuit is working too, you should be up and running in no time.