This has become a difficult thread to walk.
On checkbooks, its always better to have one. The one who is more prone to logic and reason should be in charge. That's a fun conversation. If you have to do two, have a "board of directors" meeting quarterly to continue to assess if its still a good idea. If my wife complains about my views on what she should be driving, I get the "your AV system is worth a good down payment on a car" response, so I am already at a disadvantage when that debate starts.
Back to cars, agree, buying a used high mileage car should not deter you but stick to the Hondas, Toyotas, & some Nissans & Mazdas. Maintenance costs are low for those vehicles and more parts are available for repair. Just have check the chassis. Some model years, (Toyota) used bad steel and they are prone to rust out earlier. I had that issue with a 2006 4Runner after 140k miles. I drive a 2 year old Tacoma now, and with current inflation, it has not depreciated. I will drive it into the dust. Whether buying or leasing, just do the long term math on usage, depreciation, and maintenance.