OK ok. I'm going to come clean. Here is how bread gets treated at our house.
Wifey rips off the plastic clip thingy, curses at it and tosses it.
When I finish with the bread, I hold the end of the bag and twist the bread counter-clockwise.
After twisting the bag, I put the twisty on by holding the twisty with my left hand, the end of the bag in my right and then flipping the bread forward and over my hands (being careful not to let the bread hit me in the head on the way down).
Then I tuck the end under the bread and put it all back in the fridge.
So there you have it.