I absolutely agree with RJ. You guys are TOUGH. Between your ears and your wife's laundry list of limitations, well I wish you luck.
Let me make one strong recommendation to you, though it's going to be a tough one: Dali. Biggest problem is they have almost no dealers in the US. I think there's only 2, both on the West Coast (no idea where you are).
My engineering Partner Mike is a sick man (in a good way). He's had B&W 600 series for a couple years, liked them a lot but was always looking for more. Bought a set of Nautilus 802s (the aluminum tweeter, not the new D diamond ones). We both REALLY liked them... But we both felt the magic wasn't really there. They sounded amazing and we couldn't find anything wrong with them but he ended up selling them after about 2 months. His new plan was to just get a set of 803s, but somehow something kept driving him to research other brands anyway. Email after email he'd send me... Hey check out this brand! What about these? How do these look?
Finally he got hooked on the Dali Helicon 800s from reading about them online. Now Mike (an excellent and highly experienced audio engineer) is one guy who NEVER buys audio products without seeing and hearing them first, but he was so taken with the look and specs of the Dalis that he took the plunge and ordered a set from a dealer in California, off of Audiogon (probably your best bet for finding a set). I told him he's a dope, he'll probably hate them.
UPS destroyed them.
However, the drivers were undamaged (just the cabinets, bases and grills were messed up) so he hooked them up while waiting for the new set to arrive... and both of us fell utterly in love. I'm serious. These Helicon 800s are MAGIC. They utterly fill the room (the sweet spot is HUGE) with the most real, amazing sound you could want. I've heard a lot of speakers in my day and I have to say I haven't heard anything that moved me more than these. Plus the finish is extraordinary. You have to see them to believe how gorgeous they are.
Now the Helicon 800 is probably way too tall for you (they're really big) but you might look into the Helicon 400 which is a smaller box and according to the reviews they sound just as amazing as the 800s. If you can find a way to hear a set or order them with some kind of money-back guarantee (doubtful, sorry to say), I seriously recommend it. I can't say enough about these speakers. Someday I WILL own a set, o yes (need a house first

). One caveat with the Dalis, they want space, a big room. They're not meant to be placed too close to a wall or corner, or the bass might be overemphasized. Other than that, they don't seem to be very tichy about placement or toe-in. Put them in the room and they just sound wonderful.
I own a set of the new Swan 5.2 and love them. Wonderful speakers on a $1K budget. They look amazing too, though of course the finish pales in comparison to the Dalis. As for the sound, they are WELL worth the $1k and I like them better than the B&W DM604 S3. Again the Dalis KILL them, but that's to be expected for several thousand $ more. As they're ID with a money-back, you might give them a shot. The wife might like the look with the cool tweeter on top. However you've shot down many great speakers so as much as I like the sound, I can't of course say how you'd feel about them. The mids and highs are outstanding, very smooth yet detailed, utterly non-fatiguing (that silk dome TN28 tweeter is wonderful). The only somewhat negative comment I'll make is that I found the bass and mids to be just slightly boomy and less defined and punchy than I'd like. Crossed over to a sub it's a non-issue. They do sound nice in direct (full-range) mode with enough extension for 2-channel music, but again not the absolute best bass range I've ever heard.
Regarding Ed Frias, you might give him a call. He's a GREAT guy and I would really love to hear his custom speakers. They look awesome too. He definitely knows what he's doing. Only thing about EFE, there's no returns. Once you buy, they're yours. Of course you can always sell them on audiogon and recoup your investment; he has enough of a following that that shouldn't be too much of a problem. He'll happily email you a list of customer testimonials with location and contact info so you can try to find someone in your area who will happily let you come audition them. Worth looking into, no doubt. His prices are very reasonable too.
Good luck. I think you'll need it.
