So I zapped myself with a taser.....

[majorloser]

Hey!

I was an unwilling test subject with my group of friends. I'm not the dumb one, but I am the nice one. So one day, while we're all waiting outside of a local pizza restaurant to get a seat, I'm sitting on a bench talking to my dad on my cell phone. My friend Jon is standing in front of me and asks for my glasses. He's a goofball quite often, so I thought he was just going to use them to impersonate someone, which was fine. Then, as I'm on the phone, he gets a girl's keychain (one of the girls we were with) and procedes to spray me in the face with pepper spray. While I'm on the phone. I procede to calmly finish my coversation, after which I nearly beat the crap out of him. His reason for spraying me was, "I want to know what it felt like". GRR

You see, there's aways a test subject available. Funny, he wanted to know how it felt but sprayed you........

 

[Sheep]

Hey!

I was an unwilling test subject with my group of friends. I'm not the dumb one, but I am the nice one. So one day, while we're all waiting outside of a local pizza restaurant to get a seat, I'm sitting on a bench talking to my dad on my cell phone. My friend Jon is standing in front of me and asks for my glasses. He's a goofball quite often, so I thought he was just going to use them to impersonate someone, which was fine. Then, as I'm on the phone, he gets a girl's keychain (one of the girls we were with) and procedes to spray me in the face with pepper spray. While I'm on the phone. I procede to calmly finish my coversation, after which I nearly beat the crap out of him. His reason for spraying me was, "I want to know what it felt like". GRR

Wow, none of my friends are that stupid. Mostly because those ones choked on their foot a long time ago....

SheepStar

 

[Tsunamii]

Thanks for helping break up the end of the day. ROTFL...

 

[RJB]

Hey jaxvon, if those are your friends what are your enemies like??

 

[anamorphic96]

Man I needed a good laugh like that. My sides are still hurting.

Thanks,
Matt

 

[Takeereasy]

Jaxvon, for a quick get back just put some Habanero pepper on the lip of a glass or in some food for your buddy. Should burn pretty good (for a few minutes only). If you must be truly evil (like me that time) rub a bunch of the juice on your hand and shake his dominant hand right before he goes to take a leak. The skin on your palms is thick enough to prevent any pain, the skin on what he'll be touching, not thick enough. Should provide about 20 minutes of very intense discomfort. As a side note never ask me how I know about the pain one of these things can cause on your junk, but let's say I do know, not pretty. Use this info wisely, I remember my college days. I'd also like to say when this starts a prank war I am not at fault.

 

[claudermilk]

That is just evil! Report back on the results.

 

[miklorsmith]

I'll attest - I made habanero salsa for a party, went into the shower to get ready, and . . . I'm sure I sounded like a dying animal. My wife came in, distressed, and I painfully told her there_was_nothing_she_could_do. It's probably a 10-minute, burning genital hell.

Oh yes, the promise of pain is real. If you do it at a busy bar, hehehehehe. Nice guy, eh?

p.s. Be careful with the peppers. Any time they touch your skin, make sure to wash it off quickly. It's really aggressive and you'd hate to have the operation backfire in said-busy bar.

 

[Takeereasy]

Great point about potential backfires miklorsmith. Don't touch anything sensitive if pulling this stunt, especially your eyes. This stuff can cuse pain on any thin skinned surface, including your forehead. While you won't do any damage I can't imagine the pain you would be in, unbearable. My story of pain comes from a wing eating contest. Cash prize if you could eat a pound, I only made it through two wings and couldn't even imagine eating the third. I went through 3 huge ice teas and a pitcher of water and was still dying. After drinking that much liquid of course I had to hit the head, I hadn't been told that this stuff can burn more than the roof of your mouth and so i guess I didn't wash my hands well enough to get all the sauce off. I had to sit through dinner fighting to keep tears out of my eyes and trying not to squirm. So much pain. But then it goes away with no side effects. I'd say that this prank would make me even with anybody that pepper sprayed me, and the more public the better. Another horrible fact about Habanero is that it burns both going in and coming out when you eat it. I know that that isn't an attractive thought, but it is one you should be aware of if you ever decide to try out a dish made up of this pepper.

 

[Matt34]

I'll take a taser all day to one shot of OC(pepper spray). Being tazed only hurts for a couple of seconds. Pepper spray is an all day hell, espiecally when you shaved that morning and it gets into all those open pores in your neck. Thank god I have my nationally reconized certification so I never have to expierence that again.

On the flip side there are people out there that OC has little to no effect on, that's why the taser is fast becoming the non-lethal tool of choice....there's no fighting through 50,000 volts!

 

[Tomorrow]

I saw this taser story a couple of years ago, floating around the internet. Funny as hell...but Sheepstar...IT WAS WRITTEN BY A CANADIAN!! LOL, so much for "Yankee stooopidity."

My wife works for the local PD. The cops do the "test" every now and then on each other. It's then that they admit that being a cop is really a job for stupid people. (Sorry Matt...that's what they say.)

I once gave some habanero powder to a friend (my physician...eek) who is east Indian. We share a passion for cooking. As he was relatively new to the country, I warned him about the potential for the powder to kill an ox. I even wrote on the package I gave him, "FIRE. BEWARE!" So what did he do? He said to himself, "What does a stooopid Yankee know about hot spices. I was raised on INDIAN hot spices!" (Cultural arrogance always will getcha in the end.) He proceeded to liberally pour the powder over his fried potatoes that weekend (as though he were salting them). He took one bite and HOLY HINDU, Batman, he thought he caught a bunson burner to the chops. He figured that he must have gotten one bite that was particularly heavy with the powder...and so he foolishly took another bite. "OH NO!!! I'M DYING!!!" LOLOLOL, he thought he was going to pass out. His room started spinning around, his entire body was on fire, his stomach hurt like he'd swallowed hellfire. He rushed to the fridge and grabbed a quart of milk (good for squelching hot-oily burning) and drank it ALL. That didn't help. He desparately looked for something else. "YOGURT!" He ate a pint of yogurt to no avail. The room spinning speed increased. Bread!? Anything. He called his wife downstairs to help him.

They both calmed down as the embers in his gut eventually burned out. What did he do next? He called me, got me out of bed early on a saturday, and demanded an explanation. Instead of a normal greeting (hello) his first comment was, "I wouldn't do that to an enemy!" HUH? Who is this? Then he explained what happened AND I ALMOST DIED LAUGHING! We have been good friends since.

As a postscript to this story, I had just bought a PDR (big medical drug reference book). The box it came in was just a perfect fit for a fire extinguisher. Heh heh. I bought an extinguisher and mailed it to him in the PDR box with a little note. "Keep this at hand for the next time you are drugged by a wimpy American spice."

Happy Holidays, everyone.

 

[Matt34]

I saw this taser story a couple of years ago, floating around the internet. Funny as hell...but Sheepstar...IT WAS WRITTEN BY A CANADIAN!! LOL, so much for "Yankee stooopidity."

My wife works for the local PD. The cops do the "test" every now and then on each other. It's then that they admit that being a cop is really a job for stupid people. (Sorry Matt...that's what they say.)

I plead the fifth.... I will say that we do occasionally release our dogs on each other all in the name of a good laugh.