politico headlines

[Mikado463]

Lauren Boebert Offers To Personally Jerk Off Any Constituents She Offended

WASHINGTON—In an effort to address voters hurt by recent actions that resulted in her being thrown out of a theatrical performance, Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) announced Friday that she would personally jerk off any constituents she offended. “In the past week, I’ve heard from many supporters who...

www.theonion.com

for an extra twenty you'll get a lap dance !

 

[Mikado463]

Making Dad more proud by the day .........

Hunter Biden Prepares For Court By Drawing Tie On Bare Chest

LOS ANGELES—Following an indictment on nine federal tax-related charges, Hunter Biden reportedly prepared for court Friday by drawing a tie on his bare chest. “I’ll have to look presentable if I want the judge to take me seriously,” said the troubled son of President Joe Biden, straining to look...

www.theonion.com

 

[Dude#1279435]

WSJ: Musk's Use of Illegal Drugs Worries TESLA, SPACEX Leaders...
LSD, cocaine, ecstasy, mushrooms, ketamine...

Jack Smith uncovers new details about Trump's inaction on Jan. 6...
FBI in Florida captures 3 people linked to Capitol riot on third anniversary...

Inside world's sinking airport in middle of nowhere...
Quick-hitting snowstorm impacting 60 million in northeast...
Elusive 'alligator'-like creature found in treetops of Mexico -- new species...

Russia on course to lose 500,000 troops by end of year...
ISRAEL TALK OF EXPANDING WAR TO LEBANON ALARMS USA
Israel nowhere near destroying Hamas...

How Schoolchildren Educated for Jihad...
Girls HS basketball game canceled after antisemites attack players...
'I support Hamas, you f**king Jew'...

Why It's So Hard for Robot to Straighten Candle Wick...

 

[Dude#1279435]

The Onion

Perfect 4.0 Student Rejected From University Just For Being White Rapist

Jan 6th
Man Ultimately Grateful He Chose To Go To Friend’s Wedding Instead Of Capitol Riot

Trump Rioter Knocks On Senate Door To Ask About Retrieving Left-Behind Car Keys

Josh Hawley Condemns Pro-Trump Rioters For Upstaging His Own Theatrics

Point/Counterpoint: President Trump Went Too Far On Jan. 6 vs. Mike Pence Was Wrong To Say President Trump Went Too Far On Jan. 6

New Jan. 6 Footage Shows Nancy Pelosi Threatening To Give Trump Bad Stock Tips

Biden Vows Not To Forget Lessons Of January 6: ‘We Must Hang Mike Pence’

 

[Dude#1279435]

The Onion hahaha. Jan 6th is "Natl Insurrection Day."

 

[Dude#1279435]

Crowd at black church roars when Biden calls Trump 'loser'...
The Don vows to indict Joe...
Special counsel Jack Smith targeted by attempted swatting...

FEARS GROW OVER ALL-OUT MIDEAST WAR...
NYC father smashes way through 'idiot' pro-Palestine blockade...
NYPD arrests 325 for havoc...

REPORT: Roger Stone Spoke With Cop Pal About Assassinating Swalwell, Nadler...

Record numbers of Chinese embark on 'walking route' to USA...
China's Xi vows intensified crackdown on 'corruption'...

Mouse discovered tidying man's shed every night...

 

[Dude#1279435]

NEWSOM AND CLINTON HUDDLE IN MEXICO...

Shoppers slam supermarket's new robo-cop; HD cameras and siren...

Sweden 'bracing for war'; Defense, army chiefs issue scary warning...
Cubans fear worsening inflation as fuel price to soar 500%...

Honda unveils EV designs for new models...

NASA delays astronaut moon landing to 2026 amid spacecraft 'challenges'...
CA wealth tax to get first hearing amid big state budget problem...
Even at $112,000 Starting Pay, Fewer People Want to Be Cops...

 

[isolar8001]

 

[Dude#1279435]

Final poll: Trump 48%, Haley 20%, Desantis 16%...
The Pizza Chain That Explains How Politics Became So Dysfunctional...
'God made Trump' closing message at rally...

LIVE: CHILL MAP...

Elizabeth Warren says lawmakers need raise!

Pro-Palestinian protesters clash with cops outside White House, prompt evacuations...
Chant 'f**k Joe Biden'...

 

[Dude#1279435]

Glad Republicans are getting along these days.....

Johnson backed into corner as conservatives put speaker on notice...
Steam Over Border, Spending...
The Don Ratchets Up Racialized Attacks on Haley With New Nickname...
Nikki bans DAILYMAIL after cheating report...
Far-Right Turns on Gaetz For Encouraging Diversity in MAGA...
SEIB: What Republicans Used to Believe...

Cops: Man tried to swap drugs for fried pickles at BUFFALO WILD WINGS...
She Talked Like Millionaire, Slept in Parking Garage and Fooled Everybody...
Mexican cartels pumping 'unlimited money' into Ecuador's anarchy-raising drug gangs...

Men becoming less fertile -- scientists may have found reason why... Gal darn woke. You did it!
The World Hasn't Seen Cicadas Like This Since 1803...

GREEN DAY New Album Will Enrage Musk and MAGA...
'Bankrupt the planet / For assholes in space'...

'World War 3 has already begun'...
NATO warns of all-out fight with Russia in next 20 years...

Foreign countries own at least 40 MILLION acres of US land...
China Buying Farmland...

Little dogs outlive big dogs -- now, scientists can explain why...

 

[highfigh]

View attachment 64904
First state to offer health insurance to all illegal immigrants...
Republicans Have Great Chance to Retake Senate in '24*...
Oct. 7: Where Was Israeli Military?
Ukraine Faces Growing Calls From USA to Cede Land...
Large numbers of Americans want strong, rough, anti-democratic leader...
Pastor tried to deep-fry MCDONALD'S cook, cops say...
Inside $760M restoration of Notre Dame cathedral...

He could be the Joker if they make another Batman movie.

 

[highfigh]

Didn't see if that is free insurance or not.

It's California- what do you think?

 

[Dude#1279435]

The Onion

Couple Saves Thousands On Wedding By Booking Venue For Wednesday At 3 A.M.

Dog Urged To Pay Attention While Dog On TV

Gun Owner Explains Why He Needs Weapon To Protect Self From Gun He Currently Holding Against Own Head

Police Officer Explains Why The Intoxicating Rush Of Murder Should Always Be A Last Resort

Man Keeps Squirt Of KY Jelly In His Wallet In Case He Gets Lucky

But It Client’s Birthday, Argues Public Defender

‘Uh-Huh, Cool,’ Says Man Edging Toward Bedroom As Roommate Describes Day

Late-Rising Hotel Guest Comes To Terms With Remnants Of Free Breakfast

Man To Receive 11 Incomprehensible Letters In Rapid Succession From His Health Insurance Company

 

[Dude#1279435]

Some funny ones.....

Haley might want to be careful calling Congress a 'nursing home'...
'Fedsurrection' Looms Large as 'Army of God' Protest Convoy Heads to Border...

 

[Dude#1279435]

Conspiracy Claims Swift Is Dem Op to Rig Super Bowl...
MAGA GOES TO WAR ON SWIFT
Republicans struggle to account for E. Jean Carroll...
Alaska sees record 8-FOOT snow as roofs collapse...
Montana family lost custody of 14-year-old daughter after refusing to let transition to boy...

 

[Mikado463]

City sees record 8ft 'pandemic of snow' in just two months as roofs collapse

Alaska's largest city, Anchorage, has seen over 8.5 feet (260cm) of snowfall this winter, with three commercial buildings' roofs collapsing and officials urging residents to remove snow from their roofs

www.themirror.com

what a bunch of pansies and I thought those Alaskan folk were tough ! They should come to Tug Hill (NY) and see what 'real' snow is like !

 

[mtrycrafts]

Conspiracy Claims Swift Is Dem Op to Rig Super Bowl...
MAGA GOES TO WAR ON SWIFT
Republicans struggle to account for E. Jean Carroll...
Alaska sees record 8-FOOT snow as roofs collapse...
Montana family lost custody of 14-year-old daughter after refusing to let transition to boy...

You mean ICE age is coming?
Eight feet of snow on roof? WOW. Need more insulation here.

 

[Mikado463]

Eight feet of snow on roof? WOW. Need more insulation here.

LOL, I don't think so !

 

[Dude#1279435]

Aren't you proud to be a patriotic American Republican?

SHOCK POLL: BIDEN JUMPS TO 6-POINT LEAD
WOMEN RUN FROM THE DON!
Oh no! Double down on the "deep state" conspiracy!

CABLE WARS: Jesse Watters accuses MSNBC of brainwashing...
Quick! Make some sh-t up!

What's behind the right's attack on Taylor Swift-Travis Kelce?
QAnon supporters to host fundraiser for Kari Lake...
'Traitor': After bitter primary, DeSantis may struggle to win over MAGA if runs again...
Judge tosses DISNEY lawsuit...

 

[Dude#1279435]

USA HITS IRAN TARGETS IN IRAQ, SYRIA
125 BOMBS

Haley holds 13-point lead over Biden in new head-to-head poll...
Most Republicans aren't aware of The Don's various legal issues...
What happened with trials in January?

Prices have dropped. Why are groceries still so expensive?

Coast Guard searches for man sailing from California to Hawaii...
DeSantis and allies burned through $160 million...
Texas Border Convoy Descends into Antisemitism...

Connecticut becomes first state to wipe medical debt...
NYC launches pre-paid credit cards to migrants...

BLOCKBUSTER FLOODING SET FOR CA...
UP TO 7-INCHES OF RAIN FOR LA!

Rabbi Buys PORNHUB?
Silicon Valley county becomes first to declare LONELINESS public health emergency...
China's plan for zombie brain chips to rival Musk Neuralink...