Go to you local grocery store and buy, beg, borrow, steal, the following:
One english cucumber (the one wrapped in saran wrap)
10-12 Habanero peppers (1 inch diameter) - get different colors if available
2 TBS of olive or peanut oil
1/2 TSP coriander
1 TBS Fresh chopped Cilantro
2 cups plain Yogurt
For less heat, but a more oriental flavor (use only peanut oil), any of the following peppers may be substituted, you want to end up with about 1/2 cup of ground peppers:
Cay Viet
Datil
Da Nang
Kung Pao
Marah
Thai Bird
Thai Dragon
Turn on oven to 325 degrees and put peppers in for about 2 hours or until dry and crisp, but not burn't.
The very dangereous part (This could actually be deadly if precautions are not met). Use a respirator and Heavy duty acid proof rubber gloves. Turn off all ventilation. Send the wife and kids to the inlaws for the weekend. When all this is complete, grind up the peppers. If you do not wear gloves, males should not go the the bathroom standing up or in any way, or reason play with themselves for a week.
When finished grinding, using an ammonia based cleaner to wipe down all surfaces.
Mix ground peppers with Oil, Coriander, and Cilantro
Split cuc in half lengthwise
remove seeds and gunk in the middle of each half and put this stuff into the Yogurt and mix well. Great for cooling the mouth and other pipes.
Pile the pepper paste onto the cuc half and enjoy.
