^ Wow! I guess you just speak your heart Josten.
I won't go through all, point by point like you just did, just for the sake of some variation in it.
I don't bet anymore. And what I know, and what you know, is very similar, but with different parallels.
I always thought of you as a great guy, and I still am.
I got so much that I want to say, but I'm only a Frenchman, with a very poor vocabulary. And I don't know how to explain things properly.
I'm very sorry to have cause such deception in my life and to so many people.
I deserve to be strongly punished, most of the people in all the audio forums that I'm still part of, or that discarded me, just cannot stand me. I feel great shame in my very bad behaviour. I'm so sorry again. I need to ask forgiveness, cause I still believe that there is a good person left in me.
Perhaps I'm wrong, I just don't know anymore. I need to grow up. I need to post less.
I need to be quiet, diplomatic, peaceful, charitable, get my facts straight, get my life in order, sell my hot 805, sell my hot 876, give it all up on the things I love, choose a new vocation, stop attracting bad rep, make peace with myself and everyone else, purge my sentance, wait for death to knock at my door, play more guitar, change the cords for a new set of strings, stop using a pick, play more acoustic, play my Alto flute, sing with the birds, talk to God, stop signing cheques, put money in a bank, get some food in my fridge, play poker with my friends using chicklets of different color instead of money, study new technics on friendlyness, reread my good books on the 10 commandments, reread my Bible too, call the Pope for some serious advice, stop reading all the junk about Fidel Castro & Michael Jackson, call my Mom and tell her how much I miss her, call Dad before he pass away, learn to write English, stop bleeding, increase my heart rate, go see a doctor about getting a new skin, check my mail more often, excercise more like I used to, get a new class 1 driver licence, get my passport too, call my pension plan, ask them for a delay, see if I can get there before they get to me, fix my computer, get the viruses out, double-check my modem, buy an i-pod, get used to compressed music, start to like it, see if I can plug an USB adaptor in my stereo system, get a laptop for the bedroom, ask my wife to leave with me, smell the neighboor garden, put rocks in my driveway, get a new snow shovel, ask for some rain, it's getting really hot around here, talk less and act more, preach what I do and do what I preach, go fishing with my son, repair the boat, buy some fishing rods, dig a hole for warms, eat less cereals in the late mornings, stop cafeine and smoking, buy healty food, spinach, molasses, beans, salad, haricots, apples, go look trough the window for what's coming, lock my bedroom door when my wife is out, do my laundry more often, stop steeling napkins from MacDonalds, buy my own toothpicks too, and stop cutting them in two to save money, buy my own toilet paper, take a shower more often, stop talking to strangers, try to avoid cops and jails, stop hanging with criminals, get to know some nice people for a change, that's what I was trying here, get some more education, get a new keyboard, a red one this time, go look at my trees, see if I can see the top, install my hamac, paint all my guitars, sell some of my pedals, get my bicycle fix, buy a canoe without forgetting the paddles, write a letter, don't matter to who, just write one, say in it all that is and is not, don't forget to stamp a stamp on it, and not in it, mailed it, no matter to who, as long that someone can read it, don't forget to write the return address, in case that no one wants to read it, then I can rewrite it if it comes back, get the rust out of my old truck, used it as a flower flat deck, plant more roses, red this time instead of pink, clean the backyard, hire kids to do it for me, yell at them when they touch what they should not, don't pay them with cash but with some music recordings and old DVDs that I just hate, crack some jokes with them too, buy more beer, it's good for the cervical balance and the triceps, drink more coca-cola too, for hangover, learn the new language of kids that are piss at all the rules of our society, get them to respect themselves, learn more from them, check my back, make love more often, try to give an orgasm to my wife more often too, that would help our relationship, tell her how much I love her, get some flowers from the neighbor's garden for her, don't tell her where they coming from, ask her if she thinks I'm crazy with all my audio junk, don't let her the time to answer that one, believe everything she said to me while the music is way crank up, get more subwoofers, it's good for the equilibrium, no more chips, ice cream and peanuts, get cashews instead, with swiss chocolate and strawberries, be important, get some respect, collect superheros cards, watch more Blu-rays about them, learn their history too, sell my old CRT set, put new knobs on my doors and also on my components, make it look good, buy a new cowboy hat, don't forget to get new boots at the same time, buy a horse too to go with the hat, learn how to ride the Waynes way, travel more, visit my friends, wherever they are, just call them first before I come, so they know, and they can go in vacation before I arrive, visit my buddies in jails across the country side, bring them flowers, and women too, with few cases of beer, they're the ones that truly love me for the right reasons, they don't tell me though, they're just too busy riding their horses, and say Hihhh-Hahhh, never knew what that meant, never crossed my mind either, they seem happy then, must be some kind of music they sang, never stay too long, it gets very nasty afterwards, better leave before it happens, or go to the liquor store again, they love tattoos, I wish I had a taste for cracker jacks, that's where they get their cards from, always intrigued me, but never get to like them, anyway, it's getting moon high now, better get the cat inside, lots of racoons at night, when it's dark, pitch black dark, then they come, one by one, till they all gang up, they love to fight, even if there is no one to fight them, they just start screaming, like pigs, and they don't quit, till it's dark again, I love my sound system... makes me forget about all that crap.