So I've decided to go into business for myself. Anyone who wants to join feel free.
The main things we need to focus on is brushed aluminum that we can get CNCd into a hollow box that we'll put either bricks or old metal into (glued down so it feels "solid"). Heavy = quality after all.
Then we'll need to get some not-monoprice cables and sleeve them. We'll need to make sure they are comically short so you have to buy an "extender" hollow box to have your "custom" cable length built by our core of engineers (us) and have them verified to be flatten, sparklify, warm, or cool to the user's specification (all this means pack in a velvet lined box).
We will never measure our cables because feelings aren't scientifically measurable right? If the users feel that the cable is better then I feel that it is perfectly acceptable to take their hard earned cash.
One thing we can do as a trade secret is literally spray some snake oil into the box. That'll be our little inside joke.
Who's with me?