Okay I'll bite an give you an non rocket scientist answer.
Here is a good guitar pre-amp on ebay for $699 :ROCKTRON VooDu Valve guitar pre amp W / EFFECTS
http://cgi.ebay.com/ROCKTRON-VooDu-Valve-guitar-pre-amp-W-/-EFFECTS_W0QQitemZ220299610085QQcmdZViewItem
It sounds good for gutiars and since you were so flip about what you were going to use it for I thought this was a good answer.
On the other hand there are some pretty good AVRs for $850 but then again don't know what you really want so this might not work ( usually pre-pros for AVRs are toward the high end of the equipment and beyond the $850 unless you buy used on ebay or Craig's list)
Here a great AVR pre-pro for a little over $805 , but at $899 it also comes with some amp power for free

Marantz SR7002 receiver THX 110w x 7ch HDMI home theater surround
http://www.accessories4less.com/index.php?page=item&id=MARSR7002
Later,
Werner Von Braun