A couple strolls into a Central Florida auto dealership, A young, well groomed man approaches the couple and dutifully and cheerfully spouses the virtues of every model on the shiny floor. The gentleman ogles the sleek and purposeful sports coupe, while the lady caresses the fender of the luxury-sports sedan with the 19 inch rims and the Pirelli tires.
customer: "what's the best deal you can do on the coupe? You know....the
best percentage?"
salesman: "well you certainly have good taste, this model is loaded with
all the options and it's a bit more costly."
customer: " I tell you what, If you discount 20% off the price right now, I'll
give you a personal check."
salesman: "whoa! 20%? I can't make that call, I'll have to speak to Mr. Mazer
he's the manager."
customer: "sure go see Mr. Mazer, but let him know I'm firm on the 20 and I
have an appointment, so I can't stay around.
salesman: "absolutely sir, please wait in my office, I'll have the receptionist
bring some coffee."
Salesman hurries down a brightly lit corridor to Mazer's office.
Door knocks
Mazer: "yes, come in."
Salesman opens door and hurries inside.
Mazer, sitting behind his monolithic, Frank Lloyd-Wright inspired, cherry desk looks up with glazed eyes and an ashen pallor reflected on his face from the computer screen. "Yes Billy, what can I do for you?"
salesman: "Well boss I've got this big fish outside, but he wants 20% off the coupe."
Mazer: "Billy, did you know that Toshiba is making nukes?"
salesman: "what??!!.....Ahh, no boss, I didn't."
Mazer: "Billy, I'm really concerned about Toshiba handling nuclear material,
after all look what they did with HD DVD."
salesman: "boss this guy is in a hurry, he's not going to wait..."
Mazer: "Billy, did you know Pioneer stopped making their own plasma
screens?"
salesman: "No boss, ah....I didn't, but getting back to the customer."
Mazer: "Billy, did you know Monster Cables is pure marketing hype?"
salesman: "What?! No way! I have those in my stereo, the guy at Best Buy
told me they're the best!"
Mazer: "No Billy, they're a scam, just like Bose."
salesman: "Bose a scam?!! I don't believe it! This is all wrong boss! Why
are you telling me this?" Suddenly he bolts form Mazer's office
yelling and sobbing, "my world, my world, it has turned upside
down!"
Cut to showroom: Gentleman and wife are seen looking at coupe for the last time as they slowly stroll out the door.
At the sound of furious knocking on glass, the would-be client looks over his shoulder without breaking stride and sees the salesman violently beating the glass door as an older, wiser-looking man puts his arm around the shoulder of the despondent salesman as he slowly turns him around and walks him toward the brightly lit corridor.
Back at Mazer's office: Billy is calm now, his face drenched with tears, sitting in one of Mazer's plush Corinthian leather chairs once gifted to him by a certain Mexican fellow that goes by the name Montalban.
Mazer: "Billy, have you heard of Audioholics?'
Billy: "Whaaat! Boss, I didn't know you had a problem! You should have told
me."
Mazer: "no Billy, AUDIOholics, not alcoholics."
Billy: "no boss, I can't say that I have."
Mazer: "Good Billy, very good. Pull up a chair, come around my desk and let
me show you the future." Audioholics.com was flashing in Mazer's PC
screen. "Billy, this is AV University, here Billy, you're going to learn all
that's important in life, that's right Billy, here you'll learn how not to
get flimm-flammed, ripped off, or flat lied to. You see Billy, here you'll
learn about amps, formats, speakers, cables, wires, recipes, photos,
food, car racing, Wendy's fish sandwich, Canadians, Floridians, why
plasma isn't really dead, why Toshiba blew HD DVD, why people spend
money on dead software, all this and more Billy, this place is the
depository of all the world's knowledge." Billy stares back at Mazer,
his eyes glassy, two lost orbs in a pool of AV light flickering through
the Dell screen. "Who needs cars," "right boss who needs cars."
