Jokes... Heard any good ones lately?

[haraldo]

What do you call a bear with. no teeth?

A gummy bear
- David Beckham

 

[Verdinut]

A banker died. When he arrived at the junction between heaven and hell, God gave him a choice between the two. The banker decided to take a tour.
He toured heaven. It was calm, serene and comfortable. Then he toured hell. There were nightclubs, endless bars, girls all around and loud music. He obviously chose the hell.

When he entered hell, there were fireballs, demons spitting java and not a pickle to eat. He turned to God and asked ‘What happened! Where are the parties and the girls?’

God replied, ‘oh, that was just something that the boys from the marketing put together.’

 

[Bobby Bass]

My dream doormat

 

[mtrycrafts]

...

God replied, ‘oh, that was just something that the boys from the marketing put together.’

So, he is sexist?

 

[Verdinut]

So, he is sexist?

And that joke reminds me of Mark Twains' joke when he said that he wasn't sure whether he should go to heaven or hell when he died, as he had friends in both places.

 

[Bobby Bass]

Cables! Do you still have your Mom’s jewelry?

 

[Verdinut]

Me and my wife were arrived at a popular restaurant
It was quite crowded, so my wife went up to the hostess and asked "Will it be long?" The hostess, ignoring her, kept writing in her book. My wife again asked, "How much of a wait?" The woman looked up, "About 10 minutes." A short time later, we heard an announcement over the loudspeaker: "Willette B. Long, your table is ready."