Jokes... Heard any good ones lately?

haraldo

haraldo

Audioholic Warlord
I think Confucius stated: "Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated"
 
DrMorbius

DrMorbius

Junior Audioholic
At first I thought a truck hit cousin itt. But then the guitar!
 
Verdinut

Verdinut

Audioholic Spartan
In a bar, a guy meets a girl. They spend a couple of hours together talking while sipping a few drinks. When they decided to leave the place, the man offered to drive the woman home and she accepted.
When they arrived at her residence, she offered him to come in for a drink, but said to him: " I'm warning you! I don't have a clitoris"
He replies: That doesn't matter, I would have an Amaretto!
 
haraldo

haraldo

Audioholic Warlord
An evangelical minister and a politician arrived at Heaven's gate one day together. And St. Peter, after doing all the necessary formalities, took them in hand to show them where their quarters would be. He took them to a small, single room with a bed, a chair, and a table and said this was for the clergyman.

The politician was a little worried about what might be in store for him. He couldn't believe it when St. Peter stopped in front of a beautiful mansion with lovely grounds, many servants, and told him that these would be his quarters. He asked, ‘But wait, how — there's something wrong — how do I get this mansion while that good and holy man only gets a single room?’ And St. Peter said, ‘You have to understand how things are up here. We've got thousands and thousands of clergy. You're the first politician who ever made it.
- Ronald Reagan
 
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