Jokes... Heard any good ones lately?

Verdinut

Verdinut

Audioholic Spartan
Boss: "How about doing some work?"

Employee: "I'm a loafer? Who organized the baseball pool? who anchors the bowling team? who relays the gossip? who......?'
 
BoredSysAdmin

BoredSysAdmin

Audioholic Slumlord
Sorry if this is repeat:


Why when a lawyer dies, they bury them 12 feet in the ground?


Because deep deep down, lawyers are good people.
 
lovinthehd

lovinthehd

Audioholic Jedi
LOL first thing I thought of altho it was the local version I heard first....what do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of San Francisco Bay? .....
Do you know what they call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?


A good start !
 
Verdinut

Verdinut

Audioholic Spartan
Farmer Joe was in his car when he was hit by a truck. He decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court.

In court the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. “Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’?” said the lawyer.

Farmer Joe responded, “Well I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the….”

“I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted, “just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’?!”

Farmer Joe said, “Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road….”

The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”

By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe’s answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule Bessie.”

Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, “Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other.

“I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

“Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

“Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, “Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?””
 
Verdinut

Verdinut

Audioholic Spartan
Hi Fi gear, like most electronics, is powered by magic black smoke. We know this because when the black smoke comes out it stops working.
 
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