John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life,\nbetween the legs of me wife!"\n\nThat won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!\n\nHe went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."\nShe said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending\nthe rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."\n\n"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.\n\nThe next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.\n\nThe man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub\nwith a toast about you, Mary."\n\nShe said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only\nbeen in there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time\nI had to pull him by the ears to make him come."