Intelligent Design ruling

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Buckeyefan 1

Buckeyefan 1

Audioholic Ninja
Heaven's Entrance Exam

I know this belongs in the "heard and good jokes lately" thread, but I thought Sheep would appreciate me keeping this thread alive. ;)



Heaven's Entrance Exam


A man dies and goes to heaven. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the Pearly
Gates. St. Peter says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it
into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a
certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When
you reach 100 points, you get in."

"Okay," the man says, "I was married to the same woman for 50 years and
never cheated on her, even in my heart."

"That's wonderful," says St. Peter, "that's worth three points!"

"Three points?" he says. "Well, I attended church all my life and supported
its ministry with my tithe and service."

"Terrific!" says St. Peter. "That's certainly worth a point."

"One point?!!" "I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter
for homeless veterans."

"Fantastic, that's good for two more points," he says.

"Two points!?!!" Exasperated, the man cries. "At this rate
the only way I'll get into heaven is by the grace of God."

"Bingo, 100 points! Come on in!"
 
T

The Dukester

Audioholic Chief
Very true. The grace of God through the gift of his son to die for us on the cross and acceptance thereof, not our works, gets us there.
 
BMXTRIX

BMXTRIX

Audioholic Warlord
The Dukester said:
Very true. The grace of God through the gift of his son to die for us on the cross and acceptance thereof, not our works, gets us there.
I believe the prophet Mohammed would say any such acceptance would constitue a lie and definitely not get you into heaven for faith in lies.

:D
 
majorloser

majorloser

Moderator
JohnOAS said:
I would recommend a quick read of the wikipedia article (here) or just google it. The exact amount is going to come down to how much faith you have in the translators of the "original" bible, which obviously wasn't written in English.



Do you mean this figuratively, in otherwords, whatever "feels" right according to some sort of intuition interpreted as God's will, or do you actually receive direct messages about how much to give? I'm not being facetious, I know some people really do believe this.
It's more like placing a trip to heaven on layaway.
 
T

The Dukester

Audioholic Chief
BMXTRIX said:
I believe the prophet Mohammed would say any such acceptance would constitue a lie and definitely not get you into heaven for faith in lies.

:D

Mohammed didn't create the world...or send his son to die for it:) but he probably would say that.
 
Rock&Roll Ninja

Rock&Roll Ninja

Audioholic Field Marshall
This thread is becoming inflammatory towards Pastafarians and other "miscellanious" religions...:p
 
majorloser

majorloser

Moderator
Pastafarians :confused:

They worship spaghetti??

I might be interested in that one!
 
krabapple

krabapple

Banned
Buckeyefan 1 said:
I was watching the history channel last night, and there was a show on called "Banned from the Bible." Has anyone seen it? It talked about all the books not making it in. Some of the reasons were that women were not respected (especially Mary Magdalene - whom is never mentioned as a prostitute in the Bible, but readily accepted by scholars), that some were too graphic (even if they were the "word of God"). It really raises an eyebrow for those who take the bible word for word are missing out on some very important info. It's sort of sad to see such a book get edited like it did. A lot was edited out in the 4th century. Take for instance:

http://www.gnosis.org/library/marygosp.htm

http://www.earlychristianwritings.com/gnostics.html

http://www.gnosis.org/naghamm/gop.html

You know, it's great and all that you watch PBS, but have you ever considered that you can't ever get as in-depth a look at a topic from a TV show, as you would from a good scholarly book? Elaine Pagels' "The Gnostic Gospels' even made the best sellers' lists back in the early 80's.
 
krabapple

krabapple

Banned
The Dukester said:
Very true. The grace of God through the gift of his son to die for us on the cross and acceptance thereof, not our works, gets us there.
Well, that's one idea. The history of christianity is rife with others, and people killing each other over them. And that's just one religion, there's all the others too, many of which don't even include that Jesus guy. So 'very true', it isn't.
 
Buckeyefan 1

Buckeyefan 1

Audioholic Ninja
krabapple said:
You know, it's great and all that you watch PBS, but have you ever considered that you can't ever get as in-depth a look at a topic from a TV show, as you would from a good scholarly book? Elaine Pagels' "The Gnostic Gospels' even made the best sellers' lists back in the early 80's.
Is there one good website with all the info on the Gnostic Gospels? I would think they'd be an interesting read.
 
Buckeyefan 1

Buckeyefan 1

Audioholic Ninja
krabapple said:
Well, that's one idea. The history of christianity is rife with others, and people killing each other over them. And that's just one religion, there's all the others too, many of which don't even include that Jesus guy. So 'very true', it isn't.
Sure, but that doens't make Jesus any less of the figure He is. The same is true with Allah, Jahweh, Rama, Muhammad, etc...

Imagine where religion would be today without politics and governments.

Better yet, imagine where religion would be in the U.S. without the tax exempt status. :rolleyes:
 
Mr. Lamb Fries

Mr. Lamb Fries

Full Audioholic
400th post!!!!

JK...This is a very informative thread.
 
Buckeyefan 1

Buckeyefan 1

Audioholic Ninja
Mr. Lamb Fries said:
400th post!!!!

JK...This is a very informative thread.
What is the next closest? Pretty amazing this has survived this long.
 
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