How many Divorces are because of an audio bug??

[Pyrrho]

Yeah, I'm kinda partial to that man....

Being 40 and never married, you have to expect that women will always question, whats wrong with him if he hasn't been married yet....

Nothing, I'm just not that moron that thinks I need to be "fixed" by marriage, much less the divorce that would come shortly after....

I appreciate the institution of marriage, but IMO there are only a select group of girls that I would consider getting married to. In this day and age, with the way girls behave, that institution IMO is long gone.... the days of until death do us part - do not exist anymore... so what is the point of being bound legally, financially...

Don't get me wrong, I love women... maybe thats my biggest problem...

If someone does not want to get married, then they absolutely should not get married. Too many people do things because they think it is what they are supposed to do, and don't stop to think about why something should or should not be done. The same idea applies to having children. Think first, and then, if you are sure you want to do it, take some time to think again before proceeding.

I do, however, think that you are wrong that marriage in this day and age cannot be for life. I am happily married myself, and I expect to remain that way until one of us dies (I will probably die first, as men don't, on average, live as long as women, and I am older than my wife anyway). We have been married quite a few years, and we are still very happy with each other.

She is my best friend, as well as my wife. I would not recommend getting married to someone who wasn't one's best friend. Even if you are spending 3 hours a day having sex, most of the time you are not having sex, so getting along with each other in a nonsexual way is very important.

The point of being bound to her is that it affects health insurance, taxes, inheritance, ability to make medical decisions for the other person in the event that that person cannot speak for him or her self, etc. There is also the commitment aspect of it. For the religious, there is typically a religious aspect to it as well.

In my case, getting married was probably the best decision of my life. I know some, however, for whom getting married was probably the worst decision of their lives. It all depends on you, and, of course, the person you marry. Some people should never get married.

Again, if you don't ever want to get married, then don't.

 

[cfrizz]

Well I'm in the same boat as you except I'm a woman. But my attitude is that I don't want to get stuck with some man who is really a boy who never bothers to grow up & think beyond his needs & wants.

I also believe in the institution of marriage, but most men just want to run around, sample as much as they can, spend endlessly on toys forgetting all about the priorities that should come first.

I want a MAN not a boy or a dog posing as a man, and there just aren't too many real ones out there. So I'll stay single & enjoy my drama free life. If I want a child, I'll buy a male cat!

Pyrrho, congrats on your happy marriage!

Yeah, I'm kinda partial to that man....

Being 40 and never married, you have to expect that women will always question, whats wrong with him if he hasn't been married yet....

Nothing, I'm just not that moron that thinks I need to be "fixed" by marriage, much less the divorce that would come shortly after....

I appreciate the institution of marriage, but IMO there are only a select group of girls that I would consider getting married to. In this day and age, with the way girls behave, that institution IMO is long gone.... the days of until death do us part - do not exist anymore... so what is the point of being bound legally, financially...

Don't get me wrong, I love women... maybe thats my biggest problem...

 

[loserwife]

I appreciate the institution of marriage, but IMO there are only a select group of girls that I would consider getting married to.

Trust me...You haven't been bitten by the love bug just yet. You'll know when you have found the right woman for you. Your whole outlook on life will change.

 

[AdrianMills]

There are women here?

 

[loserwife]

There are women here?

Yes... I make an appearance once in a while.

 

[bandphan]

Yes... I make an appearance once in a while.

has the house got room for all toys comming in july? bar stocked?

 

[loserwife]

is the house got room for all toys comming in july? bar stocked?

Not really...my house is very small. The major is not worried so I won't sweat it.

There will be plenty to eat and drink! (and whatever else) just kidding!

 

[Pyrrho]

Well I'm in the same boat as you except I'm a woman. But my attitude is that I don't want to get stuck with some man who is really a boy who never bothers to grow up & think beyond his needs & wants.

I also believe in the institution of marriage, but most men just want to run around, sample as much as they can, spend endlessly on toys forgetting all about the priorities that should come first.

I want a MAN not a boy or a dog posing as a man, and there just aren't too many real ones out there. So I'll stay single & enjoy my drama free life. If I want a child, I'll buy a male cat!

Pyrrho, congrats on your happy marriage!

Thank you.

I certainly understand your problem; there are a quite a few men to be avoided. When I think about that, it makes me glad I don't have a daughter. (I don't have any children.)

 

[Warpdrv]

I agree with everything you said Pyrrho....

There are benefits to every situation, and it really comes down to how well 2 people work together, but at the same time I have seen happily married people go through life and have been married for 10-15 years and then one day something changes and off they go.... Don't want to be married anymore.

I would hate to be put in that situation.

Don't get me wrong, it thrills me to death to see two great people that put forth the effort to work through all of lifes challenges and stick together through thick and thin... Thats what its all about, but its very rare to find someone that has those kind of morels these days... But I have been looking. I am happy and envious that your wife is your best friend, I have been looking all my life and have yet to find someone like that...

cfrizz.......

I am dating a girl that just got a divorce, extremely sweet, hard working, very compassionate and I find myself wanting to spend all my time with her.. Shes great... She got married too early to a guy, married for 10 years.... the guy was lazy, and after barely working 40 hours a week, guess what he wanted to do with the rest of the time.... Play Online video games... 24/7 WOTW and never gave a sh@t about anything but that... Thats sad, grow up and enjoy life... They were both the same age, and women grow up much faster then men... I am 40 and she is 30, and the compatibility is very close. Hopefully this is the one...

I used to date alot and could never find someone that wanted to have as much fun in life as I do until lately... I work hard and I like to play hard. It just seems like the girls I would meet wanted everything handed to them or they had more issues then I could deal with, drugs, selfish, head cases because they thought they were better then everyone because of their looks, or life owed them for that too...

I too believe in the institution of marriage, but just haven't been instilled with the confidence that anyone else cares about the life long commitment.

 

[Halon451]

I am dating a girl that just got a divorce, extremely sweet, hard working, very compassionate and I find myself wanting to spend all my time with her.. Shes great... She got married too early to a guy, married for 10 years.... the guy was lazy, and after barely working 40 hours a week, guess what he wanted to do with the rest of the time.... Play Online video games... 24/7 WOTW and never gave a sh@t about anything but that...

I think that is the meat and potatoes of this entire thread topic right there. Unless your wife/spouse is as much of an A/V addict as the rest of us, you are likely to have a certain threshold in place that many might not even know about, and may not realize it until it's been crossed and it's too late. If you can't balance your hobby with your commitment to marriage, sooner or later one of them is going to give way.

 

[Pyrrho]

I agree with everything you said Pyrrho....

Obviously, you are a person of some discernment.

There are benefits to every situation, and it really comes down to how well 2 people work together, but at the same time I have seen happily married people go through life and have been married for 10-15 years and then one day something changes and off they go.... Don't want to be married anymore.

I would hate to be put in that situation.

Don't get me wrong, it thrills me to death to see two great people that put forth the effort to work through all of lifes challenges and stick together through thick and thin...

I hear people talk about how much work they put into marriage, but the reality is for me (and my wife says the same thing), that I put almost no effort into it. I have been married for more than 15 years now, and it has always been fairly easy. But, I put my effort into selecting someone who would be compatible with me, and now I don't need to work at it. We became best friends before becoming romantically involved. Ever notice how few people talk endlessly of "working" at being a friend, but so many talk about "working" on their romantic relationships? The secret is simple: Marry your best friend. If you are a good friend, and if your best friend is a good friend, there will be little to work at. If you are a lousy friend, then forget about marriage; it will be too much trouble for you.

It is very simple; my wife and I not only love each other, we like each other. We both have no interest in playing mind games with each other, and we both are reasonable about the fact that no two people will always agree. For example, she did not see the need to get an Oppo DV-983H (this is an audio forum, so we should stick to the point as much as reasonably possible), but she did not object to it. She is very happy with our home theater, and whenever she asks about an expenditure, I always have a reasonable explanation. And the things I spend money on get results. For example, I have a pair of SVS Ultra subwoofers (old version), and although they cost some money, they obviously perform. If I spent money on magic wires and audio mumbo jumbo voodoo nonsense, then we would have a problem, because she isn't stupid. We treat each other like friends, because we are. And she has a great body, which is a nice bonus!

Sure, people can change, but they are less likely to if you wait until you are both mature. Don't get married when you are a child (either physically or mentally), and don't marry someone who is a child (either physically or mentally). And obviously, if you don't like each other, forget about it, no matter how much lust you may feel for each other. A lot of people have stupid ideas and ridiculous fantasies, and they only cause grief when people find the world isn't a magic fairy tale.

To put the above in a somewhat different way, if my wife were a man, I would still like her very, very much. I would not, however, be sleeping with her (him?). And she would like me if I were a woman. The point being, we truly like each other for what we are, not just as lovers or as sex objects. So we get along quite well together.

 

[cfrizz]

Beautiful!

Absolutely wonderful post Pyrrho! You are a very smart, MATURE man & your wife is a very fortunate woman! Simply outstanding! Congrats.

 

[Warpdrv]

Agreed... 100%

If it doesn't come naturally then to me its not meant to be....

My son has always come first for me, for the last 15 years I have been raising him alone, relationships have always played second fiddle and now that he is close to being out of the house, I can dedicate more time spending trying to find that beautiful, eloquent, sexy saxophone that plays in perfect harmony with my piano and drums if you catch my drift....

My girl loves the fact that I am so passionate about my music and anything and everything that I need to make that dream come true for me.... The support I need. She certainly appreciates the fact that I also have an enormous amount of taste when it comes to decorating and how it all fits together. But ultimately its only a hobby and if that was the deciding factor of happiness in the relationship with someone I love, I would burn it all in a heartbeat.... no different then the love of my son...

Remember.... these are only trinkets in life, and are easily replaced... Nothing is more precious then life itself...

 

[Pyrrho]

Absolutely wonderful post Pyrrho! You are a very smart, MATURE man & your wife is a very fortunate woman! Simply outstanding! Congrats.

Thank you. My wife says the same thing. I am very fortunate, but it was not all luck. I was careful in my choice, and did not foolishly look for a "spark" or "chemistry" on first meeting. That is the sort of nonsense that leads to divorce. There is nothing like taking the time to get to know one another before going too far with anything. "Love at first sight" is delusional. It is impossible to know someone at first sight. If such a thing works out, it can only be dumb luck. All one can really have a first sight is lust.

 

[fredk]

Interesting thread.

Marriage, like life, can be a bit of a crapshoot. The first 15 years of my/our relationship was utter bliss. No headgames, no crap, drugs, fooling around...

Then reality intruded very abruptly when we hit 4 of lifes 5 most stressful events in one year. The ex developed some fairly serious health issues (5 our of 5 = perfect storm??), got very depressed and the next 8 years were a progressive descent into hell.

If you are in a good/great relationship, appreciate it. If not, buy equipment to your hearts content and appreciate it.

Fred

 

[speakerman39]

Agreed... 100%

If it doesn't come naturally then to me its not meant to be....

My son has always come first for me, for the last 15 years I have been raising him alone, relationships have always played second fiddle and now that he is close to being out of the house, I can dedicate more time spending trying to find that beautiful, eloquent, sexy saxophone that plays in perfect harmony with my piano and drums if you catch my drift....

My girl loves the fact that I am so passionate about my music and anything and everything that I need to make that dream come true for me.... The support I need. She certainly appreciates the fact that I also have an enormous amount of taste when it comes to decorating and how it all fits together. But ultimately its only a hobby and if that was the deciding factor of happiness in the relationship with someone I love, I would burn it all in a heartbeat.... no different then the love of my son...

Remember.... these are only trinkets in life, and are easily replaced... Nothing is more precious then life itself...

Very well spoken warp. You have accomplished much in life. Now, it is time for your rewards. Sacrifices usually leads to great rewards that pay off sooner or later. Congrats warp as being a single parent is NOT the easiest thing to deal with.

Cheers,

Phil

 

[speakerman39]

Interesting thread.

Marriage, like life, can be a bit of a crapshoot. The first 15 years of my/our relationship was utter bliss. No headgames, no crap, drugs, fooling around...

Then reality intruded very abruptly when we hit 4 of lifes 5 most stressful events in one year. The ex developed some fairly serious health issues (5 our of 5 = perfect storm??), got very depressed and the next 8 years were a progressive descent into hell.

If you are in a good/great relationship, appreciate it. If not, buy equipment to your hearts content and appreciate it.

Fred

Fred, you summed it up quite nicely in that sometimes life is hard. Nobody escapes that reality. It may come in different ways and in greater quantities, but we all have our own trials and tribulations. Sorry, to hear about your wife's health problems as I will keep you both in my prayers. God bless you.

Cheers,

Phil

 

[chadnliz]

I doubt that any marriage really breaks up over Audio and Video gear, there is alot more beneath the surface. If your sig other doesnt share your passion if you are doing other things right she will give you space to enjoy what you wish but if your not doing your job in a relationship by being honest, attentive, caring, being a friend who listens and supports the other or financially reasonable then you gonna clash...sometimes there is no way to win but 99% of the time there is something else not right and if it wasnt A/V gear it would just be something else, many in these reltaionships rely heavily on AV gear because there are issues with their life and it becomes a vicious circle of trying to find happiness in a rack of gear and since your life isnt fixed you keep trying to find happiness in buying gear that isnt ever going to quench the thirst, your sig other gets madder and madder and you just keep on buying more and more, then one day it all falls apart. Liz is pretty supportive and understanding but most all my gear was given by friends because of health issues that keeps me from working so thankfully I have not had the same issues I have seen in others, but to be honest if I was able to do the things I see others able to do I am not so sure I would be involved as heavy into all this....... I would be out living life.
In close it all boils down to........ happy wife, happy life!