I agree with everything you said Pyrrho....
Obviously, you are a person of some discernment.
There are benefits to every situation, and it really comes down to how well 2 people work together, but at the same time I have seen happily married people go through life and have been married for 10-15 years and then one day something changes and off they go.... Don't want to be married anymore.
I would hate to be put in that situation.
Don't get me wrong, it thrills me to death to see two great people that put forth the effort to work through all of lifes challenges and stick together through thick and thin...
I hear people talk about how much
work they put into marriage, but the reality is for me (and my wife says the same thing), that I put almost no effort into it. I have been married for more than 15 years now, and it has always been fairly easy. But, I put my effort into selecting someone who would be compatible with me, and now I don't need to work at it. We became best friends before becoming romantically involved. Ever notice how few people talk endlessly of "working" at being a friend, but so many talk about "working" on their romantic relationships? The secret is simple: Marry your best friend. If you are a good friend, and if your best friend is a good friend, there will be little to work at. If you are a lousy friend, then forget about marriage; it will be too much trouble for you.
It is very simple; my wife and I not only love each other, we like each other. We both have no interest in playing mind games with each other, and we both are reasonable about the fact that no two people will always agree. For example, she did not see the need to get an Oppo DV-983H (this is an audio forum, so we should stick to the point as much as reasonably possible), but she did not object to it. She is very happy with our home theater, and whenever she asks about an expenditure, I always have a reasonable explanation. And the things I spend money on get results. For example, I have a pair of SVS Ultra subwoofers (old version), and although they cost some money, they obviously perform. If I spent money on magic wires and audio mumbo jumbo voodoo nonsense, then we would have a problem, because she isn't stupid. We treat each other like friends, because we are. And she has a great body, which is a nice bonus!
Sure, people can change, but they are less likely to if you wait until you are both mature. Don't get married when you are a child (either physically or mentally), and don't marry someone who is a child (either physically or mentally). And obviously, if you don't like each other, forget about it, no matter how much lust you may feel for each other. A lot of people have stupid ideas and ridiculous fantasies, and they only cause grief when people find the world isn't a magic fairy tale.
To put the above in a somewhat different way, if my wife were a man, I would still like her very, very much. I would not, however, be sleeping with her (him?). And she would like me if I were a woman. The point being, we truly like each other for what we are, not just as lovers or as sex objects. So we get along quite well together.
