PC is Projector Central forum. I haven't been over in a while, but BMX has been the moderator there for as long as I knew of its existence.
Is the "other forum" you mention AVS? That's where you will see some people insist on using screen width and not diagonal. The one way I do think it makes discussion easier when using width with PJ setups is because of the number of people there that use scope setups. When using such a setup, you're pretty much maxing our for 2.35:1, and whatever 1.78 is left is what you get. So I could give my opinions about viewing distance/angle more easily because by using width I have an idea. (It's easier than calculating changing dims back and forth for the different ARs.) That said, I pretty much talk in terms of diagonal only, and it doesn't slow me down to much from helping people in the end.
The PJ calc is a rough guide. Sometimes it will be more inaccurate than other times. You don't think they're taking every new PJ ever made out of the box and calculating this every time, for every generation, do you? I imagine they are using the mftr given specs and such.
Then you have to account for unit to unit variation, both with PJ and lamps, lamp life, ambient lighting.
So anyway, the closer your PJ the brighter it will be, the farther the more contrast. However, the big deals with brightness are room conditions and screen size.
IMO, you want bigger than 110" from 12'. So what to do? Just play around and fire her up on a blank wall for a few days, using all the different types of source material that you will use, and all questions will be answered.