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Dude#1279435

Audioholic Spartan
I have several sheets of these I copied over the years online. The newer ones are even better.

Chrysler: Collection of Half Realized Yet Somehow Likeable Engine Research; Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Research

GTO: Get The Others

Mercedes: Money Envy Reliably Causes Every Derogatory Expletive to Surface
 
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Dude#1279435

Audioholic Spartan
Ford: Features OJ and Ron's DNA (ouch!):)

Honda: Had One, Never Did Again; Had Odd Noises Daily Also; Hold On, Not Done Accelerating; Hold Overs Not Doing Anything; History Of No Dramatic Acceleration; Horsepower Option Never Did Appear; Hallmark Of Non-Descript Automobiles; Honest, Officer, Nobody Drank Anything
 
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Dude#1279435

Audioholic Spartan
Some of these are hilarious LOL.:)

Isuzu: It Sucks, Unless Zero Used

Jeep: Just Empty Every Pocket; Junk Electrical and Emissions Parts; Just Everyone Elses Parts; Junk Everyone Eyes for Parts; Junk Engineering Executed Poorly; Just Expect Every Problem; Junk Everyone Eventually Piles

Jaguar: Jerks Are Giving Unasked Advice Regularly; Jags Always Guarantee Unlimited Astronomical Repairs

Lamborghini: Less Able Men Buy Only Really Gaudy High-Priced Italian Narcissism Implements

Land Rover: Lame Americans Need Dumb, Really Oversized Vehicles, England Realized
 
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Dude#1279435

Audioholic Spartan
Kia: Killing Innocent Americans; Kick It Again

LTD: Long Term Debt; Last Try from Detroit; Long, Thin Dumpster; Lousy Transportation, Dammit; Lacks Total Dependability; Lots To Do

Lexus: Large Executive X-rayed Unveiled Sh-t; Luxury Equipment Xeroxed, Used Seldom

Lincoln: Luxury Is Now Cheesy On Latest Navigators

Also the classic....

Maserati: Must Also Suggest Extra Rope And Towing Implements:)
 
D

Dude#1279435

Audioholic Spartan
:):):)
Metro: May Endure Teasing, Ridicule, Ostracism
Mitsubishi: Mechanics Investigate Trouble, Some Understand, But Its Sure Had It; May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside
Mopar: Mostly Old Paint And Rust; Most Often Passed At Races; My Only Problems Are Repairs; Move Over, People Are Racing; Mitsubishi's Over Priced American Replicars; My Old Pig Ain't Running; Many Odd Parts Arranged Randomly; Made of Plastic And Rubber
Nissan: Now In Some Sh-tty Automobile Nightmare; Needs Imminent Salvage So Abandon Now; Need I Say Something About Nothing
 
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Dude#1279435

Audioholic Spartan
Olds: Older, Louder, Dumber, Slower; One Leak, Dead Starter
Oldsmobile: Oh, Look, Dammit Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking Everything; Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment; Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Infuriatingly Late Everyday; Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Out-dated By Infamies Like Edsel
Pinto: Put In Nickel To Operate; Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook; Put In New Transmission Often; Performance Is Not the Object; Pyrotechnics Is Naturally The Object; Pushed In Neutral Too Often
 
Mikado463

Mikado463

Audioholic Spartan
Take it easy picking on Oldsmobile, a numbers matching, prime example 1970, 4-4-2, W30 will bring North of 100k!
 
davidscott

davidscott

Audioholic Spartan
Take it easy picking on Oldsmobile, a numbers matching, prime example 1970, 4-4-2, W30 will bring North of 100k!
My dad had a new 1972 V8 Olds Cutlass back in the day. Awesome car but even with rustproofing it rusted out in 3 or 4 years. :(
 
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Dude#1279435

Audioholic Spartan
Had to repeat this one. Good grief LOL.:D

Mitsubishi: Mechanics Investigate Trouble, Some Understand, But Its Sure Had It; May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside
 
Mikado463

Mikado463

Audioholic Spartan
My dad had a new 1972 V8 Olds Cutlass back in the day. Awesome car but even with rustproofing it rusted out in 3 or 4 years. :(
what did he do, drive into the ocean ?

I had a '75 Olds 4-4-2 that went 7 years before the first rust appeared. This was while living in upstate NY
 
davidscott

davidscott

Audioholic Spartan
what did he do, drive into the ocean ?

I had a '75 Olds 4-4-2 that went 7 years before the first rust appeared. This was while living in upstate NY
Nope we lived in Pittsburgh which had the dual whammy of snowy wet winters and humid summers. Not a great environment for any car. We also had a 1966 Rambler which totally rusted out in 3 years. Ah the good old days.
 
Mikado463

Mikado463

Audioholic Spartan
Nope we lived in Pittsburgh which had the dual whammy of snowy wet winters and humid summers. Not a great environment for any car. We also had a 1966 Rambler which totally rusted out in 3 years. Ah the good old days.
amazing, P'burgh doesn't come close to the winters we've had in Bflo !
 
davidscott

davidscott

Audioholic Spartan
We did travel to Rehoboth Beach every summer though.
 
D

Dude#1279435

Audioholic Spartan
Plymouth: Please Let Your Mother Out Under The Hood
Pontiac: Ponderous, Old Noisy -- These Indicate Attributes, Clearly
Porsche: Puts Out Really Smoky Carbonate Hazardous Emissions; Phased Out Racer -- Still Can't Hold Engine; Pulled Over Regularly So Cops Have Enough
Probe: Plainly Runs Only By Exception
 
Verdinut

Verdinut

Audioholic Spartan
My dad had a new 1972 V8 Olds Cutlass back in the day. Awesome car but even with rustproofing it rusted out in 3 or 4 years. :(
In 1979, I bought a brand new one of the 1980's X series front wheel drive cars, an Oldsmobile Omega. This car showed rust at the edge of the roof in the 1st year of ownership. I should have sued GM, but I wasn't aware at the time then that I would have won against GM. That was my fist and last GM vehicle. Since 1991, I have only owned Honda cars with great satisfaction.
 
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